Thursday, December 31, 2015

The New Year

2015 is coming to an end and tomorrow is a new beginning. 

My marriage survived another year of PTSD, loss and new life.  It has been a rough ride.  I am happy to say good bye to the old and hopefully welcome in a new year.  Maybe next year will be better.

I don't do resolutions.  Those never work out but I'll continue to make my weekly and monthly goals.  My goal for the week is to walk everyday and do a short workout.  The next week goal is to do the warm up portion of a workout video along with my walk.  The dogs do need exercise too!  The mid way goal is to get rid of the back boobs and the long term goals remain the same.  Do a pull up and run a 5k. 

DD is what it is.  It will probably continue much as it has.  On again, off again unless I break one of his major rules. 

Have a Happy New Year and may 2016 be the best year ever!

Monday, December 28, 2015

The Punishment

Dragon was cold when he finally got home from work.  The rain was falling in wind blown sheets and ice cold.  Flooding forced us to cancel our plans.  We would have needed an amphibious vehicle to go anywhere.  The rain just won't stop.

We put away the groceries.  Dragon had to buy them in the city.  Our little small town grocery didn't have power.  No refrigerated food at all.  The entire family worked together to get dinner on the table.

After a hot meal, he felt much better.  Dragon sent me to the bedroom and followed soon after.  I expected a trip to the garage but he wanted to stay warm. Pants and panties removed, I figured out how he intended to punish me with a full house.  Ginger!  He placed some against my bits and then a full finger into my backside.  FIGGING!

During one of those discussions where we reevaluate hard limits, I took punishing my ass off the list.  I let him know that we needed quiet punishments and that could be one.  Plugs, ginger and sex were added to the soft limit like. Meaning, I may not like it but I'll submit.  I added things that I already struggle with.  He decided that it was time to do it.

After the ginger was firmly in place, he had me dress and go put away dinner.  (Don't show any discomfort.  No wiggling or squirming.)  After the table was cleared and teeth brushed it was time for bed.  To make sure that the ginger did its job, he had me perform oral.  With my bottom burning, it wasn't hard.

Dragon removed the ginger and took my burning backside hard and fast.  Just goes to show that a little prep goes a long way.  My obedience with the plugs paid off.  He took his pleasure without hurting me and left me wanting more.
With strict instructions not to finish the job myself, he went to sleep.

I still feel the burn of the ginger.  My body aches to finish what he started.  But I know that submitting to his every demand pleased him.  After he was done I was deep into subspace.  The impersonal handling makes me not want to repeat the experience. That and not being allowed to climax myself.

Definitely a punishment.

I wonder what he will come up with for next time.  I am almost afraid to ask. Only almost.  I trust him completely.  Heart and body.

Sunday, December 27, 2015

Confession and Submitting

Life has been hectic.  So much going on that we are in survival mode.  Dragon is very much the HOH.  When I forget he is quick to remind me.  We have even started back with the submission games.  Things that push me hard.

All that is great.  It has kept us close during hard times.


Something is missing and I need it.

Our play time is already serious.  It pushes my boundaries hard but I NEED punishment.

Not a barn burner every week but enough to know there are consequences.

Since I need it and Dragon actually does enjoy it, I confessed.  When I mess up and I need the slate wiped clean I am going to tell Dragon.  He isn't a mind reader.  Nor is he home to see that the rules are followed.  Once I confess my part is done.  What happens from there is up to him.

He has an arsenal of punishments.  Some take effort from him.  Some take effort from me.  Reflection time, paddle, belt, kneeling, ginger, toothpaste, loss of privileges.  Which one he picks is up to him.

The first confession today was my mouth.  I have let a few ugly words slip in the past week.  The garage is cold but I have a sneaking feeling that my backside is going to be bare and on fire.  Dragon hates it when I cuss but he understands stress too.  The only question in my mind is if he is going to use the paddle or the belt.

It won't take long.

It won't even take much effort on his part.

We shall see....

Am I strong enough to keep this up?

Friday, December 25, 2015

Twas the Night Before Christmas

And my mind is on a blogger,
Gone several years ago.
Cancer took his life.
He left behind a lovely wife.

Corny I know but I am miss Bass from over at A New Life in DD.  If you ever wonder whether or not you make a difference on blog land, just think of old Bass.  He shire made a difference for me.

Dragon had retired from the military only a few months before.  Our house in the north west finally sold but it cost us dearly.  $500 to repair a broken window.  There was very little money for Christmas presents.  Just a few cheap gifts and I was in tears.  Christmas is a time of giving and we had so little to give our own children.

Bass patiently reminded me about the true meaning of Christmas. A tiny baby born long ago.  He reminded me that I have raised good kids who aren't selfish.  He took my grinch attitude and put a smile back on my face.  He did this while fighting a losing battle with cancer.

Bass, you are missed.

Merry Christmas to those who stop by. Thank you for being there this year while we celebrated the life of an Uncle gone before his time.  Thank you for reminding me that we do have  reason to celebrate.

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Keeping Things Tidy

I was shaving my bits long before it was popular.  Before the internet was there to give any guidance on the delicate process.  I did the best I could with what little information I had.  I did it because I liked feeling clean and being clean shaven made that so much easier.

Over the years shaving has become routine.  I rarely miss a day.  Even just a little growth makes me feel icky.  It takes less than a minute to get the job done.  Not perfect but good enough.  Sometimes I take a little more time because there are those hard to reach areas that I tend to miss.

Occasionally I get a little lazy and ask Dragon to help out.  Okay, I'll admit it. It's not being lazy. I think it is erotic to be shaved.  He is so gentle and takes extra time with those hard to get spots.  He even gets that spot that I always seem to miss.

A towel under my backside. Him positioned between my legs.  It is erotic, comforting and a little embarrassing all at the same time.  By the time he is done, I am in subspace.

It will be a few weeks before Dragon will have the time to dedicate to the task.  Right now the Christmas rush is still in full swing.  Somehow, I don't think I am going have to beg very hard.


Sunday, December 20, 2015

The Good and the Sad

My daughter is visiting from out of state. Christmas is almost here, Dragon gets TWO days off this week.  The Good things.

Then there is the funeral. Overwhelming grief and feeling helpless to comfort his wife.  Extended family and all the problems they bring.

No kinky fun.  No spanko.  No stress relief.

It is simple

A tiny baby born long ago. 10 tiny fingers.  10 cute little toes.  Born in a barn but lives to save us all.

Faith is the only thing keeping me going.  Knowing that my uncle is in heaven.  Knowing that on the same week as his funeral, we celebrate a  very special birth. The baby that gives me hope.  The baby that saved him a place in heaven.

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Survival Mode

We went from celebrating Advent to just surviving with a single phone call.  Dragon's uncle passed away in an accident on his little farm.  The only good news is that he didn't suffer. He was killed instantly.

We have decided to keep doing what we were doing.  Music, skate, wood working and a brand new gym membership. But instead of doing it with a bounce in our step, we are just going through the motions.

We thought things had turned around.  Dragon figured out that the new migraine meds were making his PTSD 1000 worse.  Mood swings, dark thoughts, hopelessness. Several days off the meds and he is back to normal. Better than usual for the Christmas season.

Then a man we both look up to is gone. He has been more of a grandfather to our kids than his brother.  He was an amazing person that I love with every fiber of my being.  And he is gone.

Happy face glued on.  We shall continue to celebrate the birthday of a child who lived and died for every one of us. The reason for the season gives me hope that the lost uncle is safe and sound in the arms of Jesus.

Prayers for my family please.  Uncle was loved by many.

Tuesday, December 15, 2015


A young idiot, I cannot call him a man, called my daughter a whore today.  It doesn't matter that he sleeps around more than she ever did.  And let's completely forget about the dozen penis pictures he sent to her phone.


According to him, she is a whore.

I truly hope he is out of her life forever.

It is a blessing that an old friend of mine posted a video on Facebook that says it all.  I had to share.

It is ironic that I found out today my first grandchild will be a little girl.

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Orders for the Day

Dragon is strictly this Christmas season.  The stress of his job is making the PTSD exponentially worse.  But he still has room for us.

Last night we were out with the kids.  He pulled me aside and whispered in my ear. "Tell me a secret."  I did.  He wanted a sexy secret. One of dominance and submission. I gave it to him.

This morning he remembered and gave me a task for today. Use the plugs to prepare to be taken tonight.  He didn't specify which one but I already know that the smallest ones won't be enough.  When he walks in the door I am to be ready for him to take me hard and fast.  No panties.

Talk about a turn on.  I am so hungry for him.  I don't think either one of us is in the mood for gentle love making.

I really think that our dynamic helps him.  It gives him complete control over one aspect of our lives.  My body.  He makes a demand and most of the time I submit.  I know it helps me.

Time for me to get busy. It is going to take several sessions to get my backside ready for him.

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Warm and Safe

I am warm and safe while Dragon is out in the cold, wet weather.  He works hard to provide for our family.   I have been working in my sewing room on a project for a client and an apron for a fundraiser at our church.  A normal Sunday.

I took an unexpected break from blog land.  I'm not sure why other than just to say life.  While I was away many of the bloggers I followed went away.  They moved on to better things or just didn't need blog land anymore.  Who knows.  The problem is that my news feed is lonely.  Three bloggers post several times a week and another pops his head up occasionally.  I need new reading material.

Any ideas?  Please post a link to your favorite blogs or even your own!  Help me get reconnected!


Friday, November 27, 2015

The Day After

We have all heard of Black Friday.  The biggest shopping day of the year.  Huge door busting sales, long lines and impossible parking.  It is a mad house.  One I avoid at all costs!

But here is a new color for you.


Yep.  It is exactly what you are thinking.  That is if you are thinking gross thoughts.  Here is an article a dear Facebook friend posted just to make sure I had no appetite for leftovers. BROWN FRIDAY

I hope my readers have a little more self control and self respect. Did you find any nasty messes out shopping?

Saturday, November 21, 2015

A Charlie Brown Christmas

Deployed to Afghanistan, living in a dilapidated k hut, it was Christmas again. Another year away from home and family.  On a wooden table sat a small Christian tree a loving wife sent from home, complete with decorations.  The chow hall worked hard to put a nice dinner on the table.  Cheerful decorations, food and friends.  What else could you want?

 Only the most important thing of all.  Family

There are no gifts under the tree.  No little squeals from children discovering the exciting new toys Santa Claus left under the tree.  Instead they get word to expect wounded. A neighboring fob was hit.  5 dead and more wounded Christmas day.  As they eat they hear mortars exploding in the distance.

Now I understand

Thank you my dearest Dragon.

Thank you for trying.

This year we have a huge tree.  It takes up most of the living room.  No Charlie Brown tree for us this year and no one gets to feel lonely.

I can't fix the survivors guilt but I can absolutely make sure that everyone in my family feels loved.

Friday, November 20, 2015


I did it.  I didn't even need to confess the obvious defiance.  He already had it on his mind. He just nodded his head.  It was a pillow talk confession so any action on it was delayed.

Late Wednesday evening as we walked in the door, Dragon headed to the garage and invited me to join him.  I won't call it a punishment but it wasn't fun either.  More of a clean slate, let's start over kinda spanking. I did get a short warm up but not on the tender sit spot where the hardest swats landed.  I think Dragon discovered how sensitive that area is.  I expect to get many more swats in the sweet spot.  Knowing him, that is where he will concentrate punishment swats from now on.  Owie.

The garage wasn't cold but it was uncomfortably cool, especially with a bare backside.  I tried to turn it into love making but he wasn't having that.  Right down to business.  Jeans down, panties down.  Down further.  I left the sweet spot covered.  No lecture, just a reminder to use my safe words.  The first 10 swats were moderate but then he really got into it.  When he realized that I was getting close to my limit he gave me a number.  4!  Two on each side.  I expected them to land where the other swats had.  Nope.  He didn't go for my nice warmed up bottom.  These landed in that hated spot.  Wowza.  He has landed a few mild swats there in the past but never really hard swats.  While I was still panting over them he talked about rules.  Cussing, forgetting my asthma meds and getting my chores done.

The next day I looked at an overwhelming pile of laundry. I almost left it there.  Then I remembered something.  I don't want to defy him. Not even in a small way.  I want to show him that I am trying.  That will mean more fun spankings and fewer reminders or punishments.

We have slowly been buying things for the house we plan to build.  A kitchen sink, a bathroom cabinet.  Things we really like.  I found a small cast iron stove at the farm store.  Dragon got it for me for Christmas!  This winter we are setting it up in the garage, our play space.  My little propane heater just wasn't enough.

I think he is trying to get it warm enough for more serious play and even more serious punishment.

After watching me do my yoga workout, Dragon has discovered that kneeling doesn't hurt me one little bit.  He is very happy with that discovery.

New heater + newly discovered sit spot + kneeling position.  Then there is the new level of surrender he has been getting from me.  I think life is getting very interesting again.

Time to get my chores done and walk the dogs.  I don't want any more swats landing on thAt spot. Yikes.  Who knows, I might even earn a fun spanking!  I really need one after that owza spanking.

Monday, November 16, 2015

The Holiday Season

Why does it have to be a season?  Starting in October, it doesn't end until mid December.  Out pastor encourages everyone to leave the Christmas decorations up until the very end of the celebration in January.

Did I mention that Dragon finds the Holidays difficult?  He has never been a fan of mandatory love but after Afghanistan, he just can't cope. Then there is the rush at work.  Very long hours and unreasonable expectations. They have a supervisor that is clueless and huge changes to deal with.

PTSD is so much fun!  Unless you live with a vet, there is no way to describe it.  I can put it into words but they just aren't descriptive enough to make you u/nderstand.

But he is still trying.

My new found bravery with giving oral pleasure has turned into a great distraction.  I love taking him by surprise.  After several years of luke warm DD and a HOH that is mostly checked out, this is refreshing.

When he starts getting relaxed from work all I have to do is touch his zipper.  I have his full attention.  I am getting much better at saying yes and even using my safe words before thing go over the edge.

The harder he pushes the softer my hard limits become.  Yes, oral is a hard limit.  Was? Is? Maybe? I don't know what it is anymore.

This new level is distracting both of us from what is usually a very hard time of the year.  Instead of crying I am looking forward to adding something else new.  I am looking forward to taking him and being taken by him.

 I am tempted to confess a major rule violation to get the punishment that I know I deserve.  Yes, I still hate punishment but I love what happens after it is done.  The lovemaking and reconnection.  I am forgiven. I feel sexy, wanted, loved and desired.  It is the ultimate feeling of femininity.  Fragile and strong all at the same time.  The bad is shattered and the good is left behind for both of us.

Why confess now?  I think it will do us both good.  Yes, I am going to do it. The challenge is going to be being completely honest.  Telling him all of it and not shrinking back from the paddle.  If I can do this, our lovemaking will be that much better.

Wish me luck.

And please say a prayer for the combat veterans you know. 22 suicides every day is to many.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Happy Veterans Day

Today is a day for the living.  To honor those who have served our country and those who are currently serving.  Say an extra prayer for those who aren't in battle anymore but can't seem to leave the battlefield.  Nightmares of death last a lifetime.  Pick up the phone and say thanks. Shake a stranger's hand or mail a letter to a young person serving.  The Littlest things mean the most.

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Hitting the Right Button

Dragon knows exactly which button to push to make me melt.  He forgets occasionally but he is on it right now.

What button is that?

The backside

He mentions a rule violations.  That gets my mind on the paddle.  Why?  He gives me warning for most things.  Forgetting my rescue inhaler or letting a cuss words slip.  All he has to do is ask if I need a punishment.


He has my attention and my head goes into subspace.

He has kept me in subspace for weeks.

How? Easy

Dropped hints, a hand on my backside, his fingers reminding me that I will submit and orders to use toys when he isn't home.  My backside is his to use as he pleases even when he isn't home. He even specifies which toy to insert and how long it will remain in place.

At random intervals he will whisper in my ear that he wants my mouth.  He leads me to the bedroom and knows that I'll submit.  On my knees in front of him I open my mouth.  It isn't easy for me.  It is a struggle because I give up all control.  It is how he knows I have absolutely surrendered.  It shows him that his attention to the rules and claiming my backside is working.

That I obey him even when he isn't home shows that he is doing something right.  The more I submit, the more he takes the lead. I still say no occasionally.  Just this morning I refused sex.  I woke up to a very bad headache.  That is acceptable because I submitted yesterday.

Stress levels are high but we are getting closer instead of letting all the crap separate us again.

Dragon is at work and I need to get busy.  While I have a private moment I need to take care of my more private duties.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

The Ds

Dragon is sneaky. He has been bringing back the rules slowly.  Just a little at a time, he lets me know that they still apply.

1. Disobedience
2. Dangerous
3. Disrespect
4. Dishonesty

He has been giving me little reminders for months.  No wonder I have been in such a submissive state.  HE PUT ME THERE!  

I get frustrated and the f bomb comes out of my mouth.  He just reminds me that it is against the rules.  I get frustrated with the kids and start screaming like a maniac, he steps into his HOH role and gently reminds me who is in charge.
Yes, the weather is getting cooler but the garage is getting some use now. Not punishment but little stress relievers.  More play than anything else.  Dragon even got a small wood burning stove to put out there. A place to warm my hands while my backside is getting warmed.

I think I have a sneaky Dragon

Friday, October 30, 2015

Still at it!

I thought that Dragon forgot.  That the chronic pain took him away from me again.

I am very happy to say that it didn't happen!

Happy dance!

Today was an unexpected off day.  His doctor changed his appointment yesterday.  It was for DECEMBER!  Can you believe that?  Just to see a GP about refills. Dragon had to tell his boss that he couldn't work today.  That didn't go over so great.  For a change,the appointment went great.  No problems getting the refills and even a new drug that may help his migraines more.  I can hope.

After the appointment the fun began. He treated me like his own, personal toy.  He insisted on 4 ways again. I think he was testing me.  He wanted to know if I would keep my word and push myself.  This time he pushed even harder than last time and I didn't do it.  I didn't say no. Not to one single thing.

I feel well used and will probably still be feeling uncomfortable tomorrow.  Love my Dragon.  I love how we spent this off day.

Monday, October 26, 2015

Special Day

I got to see the ultrasound pictures of my very first grandbaby!

Th Proof is in the Results

I think Dragon likes the changes.

Yesterday, he got home from work and checked out.  After just a little hello hug he disappeared. Out in his work shop he has a project going.  Custom made curtain rods for his mom.  They are very cute and I love it that Dragon is learning new skills.  I really do but I wanted to spend 5 minutes with him before his retreat.

The old Dragon would have been frustrated with me.  The new Dragon apologized as soon as he figured out what he did.  Making up was fun.  He decided to take me 4 ways again.

This morning he gave me a to do list.  Some of it is just stuff I need to get done.  Phone calls that need to made and projects for paying customers that need to be completed. Three tasks are absolutely not practical.  The first was a little oral pleasure.  The second task is to go without panties while I work today.  I have to sacrifice a little comfort while I do what I love.  The third task is to use a larger toy in my backside.  There are 5 sizes and the third one isn't big enough to ensure my comfort when he takes me there.  I'm not sure that even the 4th one will be enough but we shall see.  Just the thought of the largest one terrifies me.  That thing is huge.

I love that crooked smile Dragon gets when I submit.  Even when he has a hard day at work, he comes home in a better mood knowing that I am ready to submit to him.  Yesterday he had a plan.  The only problem was that he didn't share it with me.  I knew he had a hard day at work.  Maybe I need to work on being more patient.

Time to get dressed and get busy. I have a lot to do today.

Sunday, October 25, 2015


It is the hardest part of TTWD but at the same time it is what I crave. At first I think he needed to make me submit to him, then I realized the value of doing it just because.  When I give willingly and freely, it has a deeper meaning for both of us.  The more I give, the more I get in return.

I don't know why I struggle so much with giving oral pleasure to my Dragon.  To say that he was surprised when I wanted it is an understatement.   That day I fully submitted to him in a way that I never had before.  He took his pleasure from me 4 different ways.  First my hands, then my mouth, sex and finally in my behind. Three of the four I struggle with.  He knows how hard I struggle.  He knows how hard it is for me to do even one of them.  But to give so completely, now that put a smile on his face.

What did my absolute act of submission do for him?  He has dealt with the stress at work better.  He can't wait to get me in bed to see what I might do next.  He is stepping up into his role as HOH more.  He spends less time mopping and more time engaging with the family.

Submitting absolutely flipped a switch in my head.  I have been more eager to do things just because he likes them.  I went from being a crock pot to being the frying pan.  My energy levels are still low but I keep going anyway.  Even the kids see a difference.

For us as a couple, we are touching more.  I don't pull away and he reaches out more often.  He even gave me a task today.  He NEVER gives me tasks like that anymore! I am to use the toys to prepare my body for him.  If I use the toys first he doesn't have to go as slow and everything is more comfortable for me.

I think he wants to take me 4 ways again today.  The strange part is that I am looking forward to it.

Friday, October 23, 2015

Life at my House

Dragon walked in the door.  My teenagers were doing what kids do when it is time to do chores. Hiding!  I was nowhere to be seen.  The house was very quiet.  Dragon knew I wasn't in the bedroom because the door was open.

Mystery solved.

He heard the cat yowling in the hallway.  He looked around the corner and found the evidence. Two mastiffs and the cat lined up and staring at the bathroom door.  Every few seconds the cat let out a pitiful sounding yowl.

Yep, I was in the bathroom and they wanted in.

What is it with kids and pets?  I can't even go to the bathroom without an audience. Dragon said that they looked absolutely heartbroken.

So is life....

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Pleasing the Dragon

I am under orders to write about my day.  It was such a rare day that Dragon wanted it recorded.  I really don't mind since I know it will be repeated next time he has an off day.

Warning:   sexual content!

I have been reading a series of books by Suzanne Wright called " The Phoenix Pack Series"  It is four books long and my only complaint is that it isn't longer.  I usually skip sex scenes in books.  They just don't hold my attention but this series is an exception to that rule. I have even gone back and re read some of them.

It has it all.  Strong, dominant male characters, strong woman submitting to them after a power struggle.  Spanking and discipline.  Bossy ass holes and absolute tenderness.

In every book the hero of the story tells his heroine that she is made to take his body in every way.  That he will not only have sex with her but that he will take her mouth and ass too.  When he gets frustrated with his girl, he smacks that backside and turns it a nice cherry red.

Do you see why this might be a huge turn on for me?

Yep, it was.

All I had to do was tell my Dragon what I wanted.

Touching him isn't that rare for me but taking him in my mouth?  That is almost unheard of.  It has happened but not very often.  What really surprised him was that I kept going back for more.  I was in a place beyond just sub space.

I absolutely surrendered to him.  I gave him everything.

He stopped me before he came because he wasn't done with my body.  He claimed my sex with his hands and brought me as much pleasure as I gave him.  But he wasn't done.  He took his pleasure from my backside.

All of this happened yesterday and I am still feeling the effects of it.  My body feels well used and we didn't even get to use the paddle.  My head is in a better place.  I haven't felt this submissive in a long time.

It is funny how it works.  I submit to him.  I give him that most vulnerable part of myself and he goes all HOH on me.  I will be very surprised if he doesn't have me out in the garage by the end of the week for a punishment.  Not just a pleasure spanking or an attitude adjustment but a full out punishment.

The more I submit, the more he steps up.

I have my orders today and I plan on following them.  The blog post is written.  The rest I'll leave to your imagination.  I love pleasing my Dragon.

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Just a Reminder

Although the description of my blog clearly states that I am very committed to my husband, let me just make it very clear. 


I recently had a comment on a post that made it clear that I needed to restate that little fact.  I fantasize about being in dd with another couple. About him having spanking privileges but right now, that is all it is.  Fantasy. 

Unless you know me in real life, please don't make offers to spank my ass. And no, I have absolutely no desire to spank a man.  I find the idea backwards.  Although I may be tempted to smack Dragon over the head with a 2x4, holding the paddle has no appeal.  I like to be spanked.  I like to submit to my Dragon. 

Maybe one day I will find that one couple out there that I can share dd with. Hasn't happened yet.  

Please don't make indecent proposals on my little blog. This is not the place for it. 

Dragon's Rose

Friday, October 16, 2015

Still Learning

At 23, my daughter doesn't know as much as she thinks she does.

Her dad called to check on her today.  Since we are taking care of our Christmas shopping now, he asked her what she wants.  He could hear the smile in her voice when she asked for a violin and then the tears.

"But I guess I really need to ask for things for the baby. I don't have anything yet."

Silly girl. She gets her own gifts and then the baby gets Christmas too.  Things that will be needed when that little bundle of joy arrives.  She was so disappointed when she thought there would be nothing just for her.

Dad set her straight and then purchased fabric for the baby bedding. I have one happy daughter.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015


It is a secret.  I have been here by informed.


It is very early.  Just weeks along.....

But I can't tell anyone!  How cruel is that?


My oldest daughter is expecting.  Her timing is horrible but God's timing is perfect.

Dragon already has the baby bed built in his head and I have the bedding planned. 🍼

I am so happy for her. I hope she keeps going in the right direction.

Monday, October 12, 2015

Fear vs Terror

I understand now.

I got frustrated.  Sweaty from working outside, I wanted a shower.  There were no clean towels. I told my teenage daughter to wash a load of towels that morning.  She has a habit of disobedience.  I reminded her several times.  I dried off with a wash cloth.

I was beyond frustrated. I let her know exactly what I thought about her disobedience. "Oh, I guess I misunderstood Mom."  Things turned ugly from there.

I went to my room still fuming.  Dragon gave me the look.  Fear replaced frustration. Not just fear but absolute terror.  I knew that I deserved a punishment.  She shouldn't have been allowed her little act of defiance. I should have stood in the laundry room door and watched her put the towels on to wash.

I understand now why Dragon backs off so often.  Terror.  I learned very young to fear punishment.  Not just a smack on the backside but something far worse. For 18 years I lived in fear of my parent's tempers.  Over 25 years later, that fear is still just as real.

When faced with a punishment I turn into a 4 year old looking at a giant of a man holding a belt.

Instead of reassurance and following through with it, Dragon backs off. He loves me more than that.

I understand.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Dingy Whites

In the heat down south, whites don't stay white for long.  Even with weekly blueing, bleach and lemon treatments, they still end up grey.  My daughter's $80 white bra was that nasty grey.  Everything I tried helped.  It was a much lighter shade of grey but still not the brilliant white she loved.

Mom, the super seamstress to the rescue!

I found some fabric dye specifically made for poly fabrics.  A very deep blue. I thought it would be beautiful.  A pot of boiling water, the lid and the kitchen timer.

She now has a beautiful, indigo colored bra that she will get lots of wear out of and no embodiment when a strap peeks out.  We are all happy that $80 didn't get thrown in the garbage.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Prayers for my Dragon

He goes back to the doctor Friday.  We can't live without a paycheck forever.  We need some good news.

Monday, September 28, 2015

Married to a Dragon

Are you ready to laugh at my misfortune?

Are you sure?

Last warning.

Juvenile potty humor ahead.

I hadn't slept in days.  Between the stress of Dragon not being able to work, family drama and Dragon snoring like a wounded buffalo, sleep just wouldn't come.  I finally talked him into wearing his c-pap.  He hates it but I couldn't stand another night of that obnoxious racket.

Of course he fell asleep seconds after his head hit the pillow.  He was STILL snoring!  Even with his machine but I could stand it.  Just a light buzz with the occasional snort.  He was sleeping better but I still couldn't close my eyes without the bad dreams chasing me back to reality.

I finally just gave up.  Exhausted, frustrated and in desperate need of sleep I got up.  I poured a single shot of whiskey into a small glass. The good stuff that I save just for special occasions.  It went down like a nuclear explosion and warmed me up.  Feeling the effects in just seconds, I wobbled back to the bedroom.

When I sat down on the edge of the bed Dragon let out the loudest fart you can imagine.  His eyes popped open with a startled look on his face.


So much for relaxation.  I laughed until it hurt.  Then I laughed some more.  His look of total confusion was priceless.  He had no idea what had woken him up.  Up he pops out of bed and runs for the bathroom.  No time to put on the walking boot. All I heard as he bolted for the bathroom was, 'oh my tummy!'

After listen to an orcha call his pod, Dragon hobbled slowly back to the bedroom.  Yes, I was still laughing.  Any thoughts of sleep were long gone.  When he asked me what was so funny, I had to gasp for breath to deliver the bad news.

Needless to say, we both enjoyed a good belly laugh and he didn't put that fart inducing machine on again.

I guess I am easily entertained.....

So is life....

Friday, September 25, 2015

The Perfect Date Night

Dragon still hasn't gone back to work.  We are making the best of it.  We spent the afternoon at the gun range.  We took turns firing the guns.  When we ran out of ammo we went out to eat.  Hamburgers.  Yummy!  The only thing that could have made it better is a steak dinner.

I need to get some laundry done and shower to get the smell of gun powder off my skin.  The plan is to finish the day in the garage with the paddles.  :-)

Sunday, September 20, 2015


Our garage is our play space.  With teenagers in the house we have to be discreet with our play.  Last November, just before Thanksgiving, I dug our Christmas decorations out of the garage. One box at a time.  Like most women, I propped the boxes on my hip to get a little extra leverage.  I only had one more box to find when I noticed what looked like big mosquito bites on my side.  They were brown recluse bites. I was sick for months.

Dragon has put DM all over the garage. He has bombed it twice and declared it spider free at last.  Tonight was the first time that I have willing gone out there in a long time. We didn't even have a paddle in our play space anymore.

I refused to expose my backside so he paddled me over my jeans.  Shoes on. Fully dressed. Dragon did a very good job as usual. Slow build up. He started with light pats and increased the intensity slowly.  He rocked my world even fully dressed.

It turned out that I was right to be squeamish.  Just as I was starting to really get into our little session, a ninja spider crept across the floor for a sneak attack.  Since I was positioned over the Roman chair, I could watch my feet.  I saw that little creaper just in time to step on it.  I have no idea what kind of spider it was but it is dead now.

I think Dragon may be spanking me over clothes for a while.  HATE HATE HATE SPIDERS

but the spanking was nice.  My backside is nice and sore.

Friday, September 18, 2015

Life Goes On

I have decided that life must be the worst rollercoaster in the world.  Exhilarating highs and stomach dropping lows. Don't forget the bone jarring change of direction.

So is life.

My oldest was attacked a few weeks ago.  It looks like it was an eye opener for her.  She is back in school. Her emotions are all over the place but she is finally taking steps in the right direction.

My son has found a new obsession.  Not sure I am happy about it but... drums.  The house is filled with happy noise. I can find all kinds of fun things to do in the garage to get away from the racket. WEG.

Dragon is not able to work right now.  Somehow he managed to break a bone in his foot. Fun stuff.  We will make it but some of the fun things we like to do may be gone.  Things like music lessons for the kids and college classes for my 18 y/o.  We will look at money and figure out our options.  I have great kids.  They will understand if some activities have to end.  Dragon's health is more important.

We are using his time off to reconnect.  He works so many hours that sometimes we only see each other at night. Love making, talking, cuddles and dd is back.   Dragon is getting some well deserved rest.

Like I said.  Up, down, around and up side down.

This life.

I am making slow progress on my book.  I have decided that I need a voice recorder for the car.  Driving is when I come up with my best ideas.  The book started with two lines. After a 10 hour drive I have the plot mapped out and the first chapter written.

Time for more cuddles with my Dragon.  :-) good night blog land

Thursday, August 20, 2015

I am here

I am so sorry.  I didn't mean to just drop off the face of the earth.  So much has happened.  The land didn't happen.  A dispute between the seller and surrounding land owners kept us from getting the needed right of way.  My oldest daughter was raped by an acquaintance and her roommate stole my mother's debit cards.  Long story.  Stressful times.

That isn't enough?

Nope.  There is more but I keep going. One day at a time.

Good news.

After months of planning, thinking and false starts,  I have finally started writing that book Dragon has been pushing me to write.  Here is what I have so far.

Book 1
Part 1
Chapter 1
Page 1

And two lines that introduce the heroine.

Hey, no heckling.  I have to start somewhere.  With all the crap going on, I am doing good when I manage to get out of bed.  I feel like I have been ridden hard and put away wet.

Thanks for being here.

Friday, April 24, 2015


I have a laptop of my own.  Still sharing with Dragon but not kids.  I'll finally be able to write again.  I don't know that I'll ever share them on blogland but it will be fun.  I have several stories floating around my head waiting for a word processor.

I tell Dragon my stories all the time but almost never write them down. I think it has finished updating.  Now we just need Microsoft office and I will be ready to go.

I am so tired of typing on a tiny screen.

Monday, April 20, 2015

The First Spanking

Life is full of firsts.  Unfortunately, they only happen one time. First word.First steps.  First day of school.  First kiss.  First date. So many firsts.  Two that stand out for me are my first erotic spanking and first punishment.

I had to beg for that very first erotic spanking.  Dragon refused to hit a woman. Especially me!  It was a long one. His hand only and not nearly hard enough.  I got up wanting more.  I wish that first had been the birth of a spanko but Dragon needed more convincing.

It took years for us to work up to a punishment spanking.  The very first one was awkward and more of a joke than anything.  Then we had a fight.  Something silly but he wouldn't let me have my way. I slammed a door.  Oops

Jeans and panties down, bending beside the bed.  Nude would have been less humiliating. For this one, I didn't get the comfort of contact with his body.  This was the first time I got his standard, pre spanking lecture.  "You know I love you and would never do anything to hurry you."  Then there was the "why we are here" lecture.

The spanking really hurt.  It was the first one ever with no warm up and the only one I have ever had mad.  What surprised me were the conflicting emotions after I was aroused but very angry at him still.  Feeling submissive but still defiant. Then the remorse hit.

Now, at that stage, Dragon would pick up the paddle for round two.  Part of the punishment is dealing with remorse and guilt. Then, he held me and let me cry.  Latter in the day we made love. Sweet, tender, breathtaking love making.

I didn't expect the strong emotions after. So many things took me by sure but that day. I think we both knew that DD was there to stay.  A spanking turned a bad fight that would have lasted for hours, into an awesome reconnection.

There are some firsts that I'll always remember.

Sunday, April 19, 2015


One little undergarment says so much.

Stained, I am on the rag, leave me alone.

Fun print, let's have fun.  I don't want to grown-up today. I have a pair of my little pony panties somewhere. Some printed with hearts, fruits, smiling faces and music notes.  I really want some days of the week and frilly butt panties.  Dragon is always up for a little age play.

Silk and lace, I feel sexy.  How many I serve you today, master? I absolutely love the lacy, silk panties.  Even worn under workout clothes or ragged yard work clothes, I feel sexy.

Thong, spank me. I am a naughty girl today.  I find thongs very uncomfortable.  Like a constant panty wood that just won't go away. If I'm not feeling submissive, they just get on my nerves fast. Nothing a good paddling won't solve.

The one that says the most is probably none.  I hate going without.  Wearing clean panties is something that was beaten into my head very young. It is uncomfortable.  Going without shows that I am feeling very submissive.  That I am willing to be uncomfortable to please my Dragon. It leaves me exposed for his pleasure.  To touch and take as he pleases.  My jeans chafe and rub those oh so sensitive parts.  A constant reminder that I am bare.  With a dress, I feel the most exposed.  A simple breeze can put my assets on display. Stairs, a cat walk.  Sitting, bending. Oh so many hazards.

One small scrap of fabric says it all. Today is a My Little Pony kinda day. Most of yesterday and last night, I wore none.

Friday, April 17, 2015

Workout Equipment and Kinky People

(Safty disclaimer. When we play, we take risks.  Not everything we do is safe or remotely sane. Don't do this at home, kids. )

What a combination.

I had a yoga mat, a few small dumbbells and P90x.  But what has really worked for me in the past is serious weight training.  My little garage room has been transformed.  If you consider how much a gym membership costs for a family of five, this was our best option.

Do you really think all that fun equipment would just have one purpose?  Now that is just silly.

This one got the most use last night.  It is called a Roman chair and is sadistic.  Works the core with thorough efficiency.  Stand up,  face the pad from the other direction and it becomes the perfect spanking bench, complete with handy tie down points. After the spanking, that nice, red bottom is in the perfect position to be taken.

Yummy.  And to think, we didn't even think about all this fun stuff in the store.

After our fun with the chair,  Dragon looked around the room looking for more ways to pervert my little space.  Now what could the punching bag be used for?  To secure my hands above my head of course. 

Now, this is where we finished our love making.  Interesting use for the bench.  I thought so. 

The last two will wait for another day.  We had too much fun using the  chair, punching bag and bench. But I am sure Dragon has something evil in mind.  

The treadmill lives in the house, in a very public area.  No kinky stuff there.  Not until the kids are grown. 

Thursday, April 16, 2015


I just signed pages and pages of documents.  Signing my life away for the next 30 years.  I forgot how stressful that is.   Hiring a surveyor, getting an appraisal, making on offer, applying for a loan.

We thought long and hard about this property.  It is very odd shaped but I think I like it.  The small pond probably dries up in the summer but a well would fix that problem.

Our dream of going off grid is getting closer to reality. We aren't environmental nuts but we believe in leaving the earth a little better than we found it.




How does a kinky spanko deal with stress?

I am dressed up in one of my new dresses.  Freshly shaved without panties.  The paddles are all lined up and Dragon is never without his belt.

A good, long spanking will do the trick.  I love the sting and submission.  He loves my bare backside exposed and across his lap.  He loves the changing colors of my skin as the spanking progresses.  He loves the wiggly beginning and the ultimate submission.

The best part is the reconnection afterwards.  The slow, tender lovemaking.

Fingers crossed that Dragon gets off in time.

A girl can hope.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

The End Of Reason

What kind of world do we live in?

A man compliments a woman and she sees it as demeaning.  That he doesn't take her seriously.  He rushes forward to hold the door for her and he shows her that she isn't even capable of of doing it herself?  He makes eye contact and tries to brighten her day by saying "smile".  This young man is the worst of the worst.

He didn't hit her or demean her with vulgar language.  He didn't touch her or try to assault her. He tried to make her day a little brighter.

This world is a sad place indeed.

If you ever meet my son, I hope he remembers how to be a gentleman.  He will help you with your coat, hold the door and offer to carry your bags.  He will wait for you to offer your hand for a hand shake.  He won't even make you feel obligated to share even that much contact. He will offer his arm to escort you across a parking lot.  He will stand to make sure you have a place to sit.  And he will be such a sexist pig that he expects to pay for a date.

By today's definition, that is what I want for my son.  I want him to be a sexist pig or rather what I called a nice guy when I was growing up.

Mothers, teach your son how to be a gentleman.
AND! Teach your daughters how to be a lady.

Saturday, April 11, 2015


I feel like an over stimulated toddler.  My head is spinning. Life is changing fast.  I'll start with the most recent news.  My oldest is moving out of state.  She has discovered that you can only get crap jobs when you have no education.  Those crap jobs don't pay enough to rent a cardboard box in an ally.  She is hoping that a fresh start in a new state with give her income a boost.  Probably not but what does mom know?

We just signed a loan for our 18 w/o a new car. She needs to get a job and start paying the payment now.  For now it is my car. When she starts paying for it, it is hers.  My 15 y/o daughter just finished up the classroom portion of drivers ed.

Huge mile stones for our family.

Ready for the exciting news?  I think we are getting ready to make an offer on some land.  It is down a narrow country road.  We will have to finance less the cost of a new compact car. It is odd shaped but that is probably why it is in our price range.

My mind is spinning with plans.  First, build the power house and dig the well.  Initially it is going to cost more than hooking into the public utilities but we won't ever have a power bill or water bill.  We decided to go with a combination of solar and wind with a backup generator.

Then comes the well, septic system and the foundation for the house.  At some point we will have to build fences.  There are fences in place but they don't follow the property line.  Did I mention that those fences are falling down? Hmmm...

I want to rush.  I want to nail a few pallets together and move in NOW!  You don't know how sick I am of renting.

I am so excited.  I hope this one works out.

Understand why I feel like an over stimulated toddler?

Sunday, March 29, 2015


Dragon came home with a mysterious purple shopping bag.  The only place I know of that uses purple bags is the grown-up toy store.

First Dragon pulls a small bottle of silicon lube out of the bag.  Next up are the toy cleaning wipes.  I KNOW we don't have any toys right now. We throw them away after a few months and buy new.  I just think squick after a while.

Last he pulled a set of butt plugs out of his magic bag. The first one was reasonable.  Not too big.  Maybe even on the small side.  The second and third weren't too big either.

The last two?

Good grief!  Where does he think that is going?

Not in my backside.  Wowza!!!!

Dragon says that we are going to take it slow.

We shall see.

So far?  We played at using the smallest one.

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Why Does it Always Surprise Me?

After 20+ years together Dragon still has the power to surprise me.


Simple. He believes in me.

I am training a young puppy to be a mobility assistant.  I get a little unsteady at times and a dog does more to keep me on my feet than a walking stick.  She is the third dog I have trained.  As usual, there is a problem and as usual, it is my fault.

I listened to bad advice.

My little girl is shy. She has no problem with other dogs but really doesn't want to say hello to strange people.  My thought was that it is a good thing.  She needs to be calm in public and ignore all the distractions. So,we were working on that. Calm and aloof.

Nope. Not good enough for the trainer we are working with.  The puppy has to act like a politician on election day. ?????

The other problem? Engagement.  The trainer thinks she is too focused on me.  I don't think she is focused enough but she is still a puppy.

New tactics and a new trainer coming soon.

We are going to work on trust.  The puppy needs to trust that I won't put her in danger.  Lots of new places, cookies, her favorite toy and her blanket.  People around but not touching.

Lots of work on basic obedience to increase her confidence and more engagement games.  I am going to work on some specialized training.  It is not to soon for her to start Learning her job.  Touch, take, drop, up, off, find.  Ahhh hide and seek is so fun to teach.  The goal is to teach her to find my car keys.

I have a plan. We have 4 more classes with this trainer.  I am going to treat it like puppy play time.  During this time I am going to interview other trainers and find one that works for both of us.


What surprised me?  Dragon just spent $$$ on a mobility harness that won't fit her for months, a touch pad and another Leerburg training video.  This took me by surprise.


His purchase says, "I believe in you. You can turn this frightened little puppy into a service dog."

Before Dragon, no one believed I could do anything.  I wasn't smart enough, fast enough, good enough or pretty enough.

For Dragon, I am enough.

Crying now.  I need to go find a tissue.  Love my man just a little.

Sunday, March 8, 2015

Daylight savings time

Don't forget to set your clock one hour ahead!

We get up one hour earlier.  Yawn.  I am so sleepy.  It feels like I got up an hour early.  But it won't get dark as early.  More daylight when it counts.


Wednesday, March 4, 2015

A Reluctant HOH

We agreed that he wouldn't micromanage my life and I don't expect him to.  We are easy going most of the time.  Fights flame up and end without any fantastic fireworks.  Most people will miss what makes it work. It is so natural that they won't see his leadership or my submission.  It just is.

That is why I was so surprised to get a text from Dragon this morning.  "Treadmill, text me when you are done"


About an hour later...  "Treadmill?"

And when I still didn't send him a text "??"

Do I really need to say this?  I thought it was hot as hell and he thought he was being an ass.

No.  He was concerned.  He thought I was procrastinating.

Yep.  He was right. I just didn't want to get hot and sweaty.

Next day....

Ooops.  I fell asleep before I finished my post.

After I practically seduced him when he walked in the door, I think he understands how much I liked his insistence.  He understood it so well that he set up my sit up bench.  It is now together.  I just have to find a spot for it in my sewing room.  I didn't want it with the rest of the workout equipment because I like to work abs when I do cardio.  And since the treadmill is in the sewing room, it is perfect.  :-)

Dragon said to expect a text today.  No promise of a spanking.  Good girl or otherwise.  The garage is too cold anyway.  But he is being so darn sexy that....


My spanko friends understand.

I hope this is the start of something fun!

Saturday, February 28, 2015

Bed Time

Last night we got home at almost midnight.  The first thing Dragon noticed was an empty dog crate.  The crate belongs to a rescue pup that refuses to house train.

Ut oh is right.

The search was on.  Where did he puddles? Just when I thought he was a good boy I discovered that he was VERY bad.

I sat down on my bed.

Yes, I did.

I found it.

He left a lake on my bed and I sat in it. Ice cold, stinking mess right on my @$$.


What a mess.

We cleaned up the flood of urine the best we could.  Baking soda rocks! And discovered that we didn't have another queen sheet. That was a twin and nothing we did was going to make it fit.

We rotated the mistress to put the mess at Dragon's feet, put a stack of bath towels over it and used a twin flat sheet for the night.



Now I have a new mattress, bedding and pillows. I am going to be sleeping in a strange bed tonight.

The old mattress was a the cheapest you can buy and after 3 years of use, it was dead anyway.  My once beautiful white quilt was stained and the pillows were flat.

It was past time for new.

I am so excited.

Sheets are out of the dryer and the new quit is in the dryer and the fuzzy blanket is in the wash.

Everything has to be washed before use.  The hazards of living with asthma.

I wish I could say that we are going to give the springs a workout but after getting no sleep last night and mattress shopping today, we are exhausted.

Sleep is the only thing we have in mind for tonight.
I am looking forward to some good sleep. Love making will come when we are both rested.

Happy birthday Dragon!  He is now 42!

A new bed was an unexpected gift but we had to have it.  That dog made sure our pitiful excuse of a bed was ruined.

Nasty Gram

Hmmmm the mystery.

The nasty gram blogger put in my blog is gone.  It is no more.

It isn't listed in terms and services.  It is just gone.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015


Cold weather is back.  Our little Indian summer is over.  Can you believe it was 80* one day last week and freezing cold this week?  Okay.  40 isn't freezing but after last week, it sure feels like it.

Dragon worked on my car for a little while Sunday.  The cold front hit Saturday afternoon.  It was a bit nippy but not bad inside the garage.  I didn't want to drop my jeans.  Shivers! But that didn't save my backside.

My first spanking of the year was short, fast and stingy.  By the time he was done, my bottom was burning good.  I wanted long with a slow build-up but we were both ready for the heated house.

It wasn't a punishment. It wasn't long enough to be a tune up.  Since his hands were covered in grease from working on the car, there was no petting. Not what I would call an erotic spanking either.

I'll tell you what it was.  Sexy as all get out.  Sometimes fast and hard hits the spot better than anything else.  Sure surprised me. We made love after dinner.

I love how ttwd brings us back together.  Even talking about it, writing about it sends tingles to my lady parts.

I have chores to get done and an Elizabethan corset to make.  I have to work before I can play in the sewing room.  I am reading Sunny's book "Star Crossed Cowboy".  So far I am impressed. She has really grown as a writer. I'll review the book when I have finished reading it.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

No no no

It was another no go.

My pain levels spiked into the stratosphere.  I couldn't even tolerate his touch and touch is my love language.

We did manage some hot monkey sex before the pain hit but no spanking.  I was looking forward to it so much.

We will have to see what time he gets off work today. I am feeling much better.  No walking stick today!  Sundays are usually too busy. Monday may be a possibility.  I am not giving up.

The land didn't work out. We got our earnest money back but we are out $700 for the survey.  Oh well.  It wasn't ment to be.  It isn't the first time we have lost money on a real estate deal.  Try $20,000 and no, we aren't rich.  That loss still makes me cringe. That much much money is an almost new car or LOTS of lumber to build the house.  $$$$  To some people, it may not seem like much.  To us, it was another broken dream.

We looked at 4 plots of land yesterday and struck out.  We have two more to look at.  Land in our area is going fast!

I feel like the little engine that could.

I think I can
I think I can
I think I can
I thought I could
I thought I could
I thought I could

Hope you have a wonderful Valentine's day!

I hear 50 Shades is a B movie at best.
What do you think?

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Be Brave

For many reasons, Dragon is very careful with DD.  He usually asks if I need a punishment.  The answer should be yes every time but I am not that strong.

I have a shameful secret.  I am afraid of punishment.  Not the healthy kind of dread.  Oh no.  I am talking about the all consuming terror that overcomes the trust I have for my Dragon.  I flinch when someone cusses within my hearing.  I turn into a shaking, weeping mess if I hear a voice raised in anger.

Do you see why Dragon calls me his China doll?  His delicate rose?

I can be strong when needed but this pushes my panic button.

Sometimes, if I know a punishment is coming, I can get my head right.  I need a quiet place so that I can hear that voice of reason.  It has been a while since I have had a conversation with that very quiet side of my head.  Terror likes to scream and drown out that shy whisper of reason.

4 times this year, Dragon said a punishment was coming.  4 times fear has stopped him cold. Pushing when I am that panicked would be a disaster.

It is time for me to hear the whisper.  I am listening.

It is to late for a punishment.  That has to happen fast.  However, the timing for a tune up is perfect.

I am going to hand him the paddle.  When he asks for a number. I am going to give him something reasonable. 3 or 4 is ridiculous.  30 will get the job done right. With that number, Dragon will know that I am ready.

Why TTWD?  Yes, it is hard but it is also healing.  I learn trust and surrender.  I learn that I can submit to him without losing myself. I learn that I don't have to be afraid of him.  Not ever.

These are lessons I have to learn over and over again.  I envy those who find spanking, sex and kink easy.  For me it is hard.  Sometimes I can't even undress with him in the room.

When it is good, it gets there because I have pushed myself.  It is because I sat still long enough to hear the whisper of reason.

I am listening.  Can you tell?

How far will it go this time?  Only time will tell.

Ps. At my best, I am scening with Dragon at a party.  I feel that secure with Dragon, my body and my environment.  DD and D/s are hard for me but the rewards of self-confidence and self-esteem are worth it.  The deep connection I have with my Dragon is even better.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

50 Shades of ????

What will you be doing this Valentine's day?  Will you be watching the much awaited 50 Shades movie?  I think people love to hate it.  Conservative Christians of all flavors say it damages marriages.  They equate it to pornography.  The kink community says that it damages their reputation because Mr. Grey is damaged goods. Others call it domestic violence.  Almost everyone that reads complains that the book is poorly written.

Did I miss anything?

One thing that we cannot deny is that women are taking.  Women who wouldn't even think about kink are taking about it.  I love it.  Spanking, bondage, safe words.  The difference between a D/s relationship and domestic violence.  They are taking to each other and their husbands.  They are getting brave and trying new things.

How can this be negative?

I am going to call this one a miss in the theater. However, when it is released on video all bets are off.  How far will we get before we are off to have our own spanking fun?  Can't do that in a theater.  Giggles

We will spend Valentine's day at home.  A candle light dinner with the kidlets. Then a family appropriate Netflix movie.  I don't find crowded restaurants and theaters romantic.  I rather wait for a pretty day and have a picnic in the country.  I rather go to a matinee when the theater is empty.  So many things I rather do than fight crazy crowds.

What will you be doing on the ever so romantic day?  Do you have fun plans?

What ever you do, have a little fun.  Come back and let me know what you did!  I would love to hear from you!

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Why is DD so hard for us?

DD is an off and on thing for us.  Mostly off.  That's okay.  It is what we need it to be.  If I go ana, Dragon is ready.  He has a few rules that won't be broken.  100% of the time he enforces these rules.  I don't break these rules and he has no reason to get out the paddle.

We just don't have the time to dedicate to DD.  Dragon works long hours.  When he gets home he doesn't want to deal with micromanaging my day. He wants to sit back and relax before bed.  Cuddles on the couch is more important than the paddle.

Privacy is another issue.  We live in a small house with three teenagers.  They are everywhere.  The garage doesn't even guarantee privacy. The paddle is loud. If we use a silent implement, I can't be quiet.

Last but not least is my own level of submission.  If Dragon got strict it would crush me.  I want to please him so much that a hard look breaks my heart.  Dragon hates that broken look in my eyes and he will do anything to avoid it.

DD looks different for every couple that lives the lifestyle.  That's okay.  Your marriage is going to be different than mine.  DD is going to be just as different.  Goals, likes, wants and circumstances are different.

Monday, January 26, 2015

A Whirlwind of Life

I need to breathe.  This is coming fast.

We are officially under contract for the land.  We had to buy cheap and it shows.  We won't be able to even begin building for months.  We have to clean up all the junk and garbage, cut down and burn the dead trees, pull up the rotten fence posts and carefully get rid of the rusted fencing.  That is going to be fun.  Tangled, rusted barbed wire.  Hmmmm..

We still need to call the surveyor and find the septic tank.

So much to do.

But I did get to smile today.  Dragon was playing on his phone this morning during breakfast. That is unusual. Breakfast is our time together, not looking down at a black plastic rectangle. Then he told me what he did.

I woke up the kids with my squeal.

He ordered the house plans I picked out.  :-)

Home.  The kennel, his workshop, room for our family.  Animals.  A horse, cow, chickens and a goat.

I am trying to remember how to breathe.  So much happening so fast.

Saturday, January 24, 2015

A Neglected Little Blog

Life got busy in a hurry.

Sports, Dragon's disability claim approved, shopping for land and house plans.

See?  Busy!

I met the litter of puppies.  Mastiffs are potato chip dogs.  You can't just have one.  That holds true for us.  I couldn't pick just one.  I am getting two little girls. GGood thing I just accepted a counter offer on the land we found.  5 acres.  Not as much as we wanted but more than we expected to find for the money we had to spend.

Busy but good.

Dragon now has a100% disability rating.  More benefits, more pay, all tax free.

Sorry I have neglected my little space here.  Life us happening fast.

Friday, January 16, 2015

Yet Again

My health is not getting better.  I can't seem to snap out of this.  I try to exercise but pain stops me before I even get a good start.  Most days I walk less than half a mile.  That isn't enough.  I barely eat and my weight keeps going up.

I asked for something and Dragon said yes.

Years ago I lost a lot of weight on Neutisystem.  My health then was like it is now and I was desperate for a solution.  I only purchased one month of food but made it last several months.  Eating just the little microwave meals didn't work for a mom with small children.

Dragon was deployed.  I don't remember where.  We had spent $$$$ on doctor bills trying to figure out what was wrong. We had no success.  He was gone for 5 months.  I started the program about 3 weeks into our time apparent.  It played off in a big way.

By the time he got home I was walking almost 5 miles a day and dropped 2 full dress sizes.

Even with anna knocking on the door Dragon is going to let me try it again.  He won't be taking any long trips overseas and his working hours are slowing down.  He will be there to make sure anna doesn't take over my life again.

I hope I can do this.  It is like an alcoholic dealing with a problem by drinking a beer but I have to eat and I have to stop the cycle I am in.  Scary but it feels like I am out of options.

The plan is a do one month and see where I am.  Spend a month really focusing on good nutrition and exercise then reevaluate again. I don't like the uncertainty but Dragon will be there to catch me if I fall.

Prayers please for my Dragon.  We finally did what needed to be done.  Our two little dogs are gone.  It was so hard for my Dragon.  He says that he feels like he betrayed a friend.  He didn't sleep last night and said that he deserved it.  Those puppies were both suffering.  It was time.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015


With one daughter grown and the other two teenagers, modesty is always a fight. I have struggled to find a way to teach them this most valuable lesson.

Then the Christmas tree gave me a hint.

What if I wrapped all the presents in pretty, transparent cellophane bags with beautiful bows?

Why would you do that mom?

Well, that way you won't fuss over what is under the tree.  You would know what was in every package.

That wouldn't be any fun.

The same thing applies to clothes.  Boys go after the girls who are mostly naked because they are advertising free sex.  Is that what you want to say?


Dress with care in clothes that flatter you and you will make the boys drool.  You will get the right kind of attention.

I don't know if it sank in but I tried.  It breaks my heart when I see my oldest dressed like a hooker.  I hope my younger kids see the value in dressing nice.

Saturday, January 10, 2015

STD Scare

No, not me.  It was my daughter.

She got a late night phone call from an ex boyfriend.  "I have X and you gave it to me."

I am not sure what I could have done at 2 am but I did try to calm her down.

A little advice if you ever get one of those calls.

1. Consider motive.  Is he just trying to scare you?
2. Have you had any symptoms of X?
3. Have you put yourself at risk of getting X?
4. Does his story sound credible?

All of these questions applied to my daughter.  The chances of her having X and not knowing it were remote.  Since X is spread by IV drug use and not by vanilla sex, she probably didn't give it to him even if he has it. His story wasn't even credible.  He is being treated by a doctor for something else but got a home test for this one issue?

Geez! How stupid does this guy think we are?

Okay, she was gullible enough to believe him.  Thankfully mom, dad and her roommate all had cooler heads.

Oh wait.  I missed #1.  Motive

She dumped him. She had many reasons to do it but she hurt his little pride.

He wanted to hurt her.
He wanted to scare her
He wanted to put her under even more financial strain and stress.

He succeeded.

But daddy fixed it.

Since we can't find a doctor that will accept our insurance, we took her to a doc in the box.  Medical attention for the fast food generation.

They tested her for everything they could think of plus a few extras just in case.

The results were not unexpected.

"Honey, your blood sugar was a little high but everything else is fine."
Everything was negative?
Yes, mam.  That boy didn't get X from you.

I have a very confused daughter right now.  She doesn't know whether she should be happy for the negative results, mad at him for the lie or mad at herself for believing him.

A little more advice from a mom?
Don't panic.  Get tested even if it sounds far fetched. And most important?  Be safe.  Don't put yourself in a situation to be scared by an idiot.

I just wish I knew the laws concerning this situation better.  I am sure he is guilty of some kind of crime.  I just don't know what.

What have I learned out of this?
-If she insists on taking risks with her health, I am not obligated to listen to her drama at 2 am.
-I raised her right and educated her.  She knows the risks.
-If this happens again she can deal with it herself. I won't give up my anniversary date to take her to the doctor.
-She is an adult.  It is way past time for her to act like it.

Lots of lessons learned. By me anyway.  We will have to wait and see if she learned anything.

Thursday, January 8, 2015


I just put a deposit down on an English mastiff puppy.  I am so nervous.  I get the pick of the litter.  So exciting.

I still need to get the litter hound to my uncle but that is going to happen soon.  I have a month to get ready.

I talked to the breeder for about an hour and she called her mentor.  She is going to watch the puppies for the personality traits I am looking for.  Calm, Aware, Focused and on task. I look for the love bug.

I haven't told friends or family yet.  Fingers crossed.

I have NEVER spent this much money on a dog.  I hope she is worth it.

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Sleepy Sex

Today is the anniversary of our public wedding.  20 years.  That is a record for my family.  :-)  Unfortunately Aunt Flo came to visit a few days early.  I thought Dragon would be disappointed.

Nope.  Not him.

A sleepy, impossible to wake up wife didn't even slow him down.

I woke up just enough to feel my panties slide down.  Then the next thing I know it is morning.  My panties were back in place and Dragon was a happy man.

It takes skill to get his and not wake me up.  When he succeeds, he strutted for days.

So would that be sleepy sex or sleep sex?

I have requested a do-over when I am awake to enjoy it.  Dragon has agreed.

Friday, January 2, 2015

Happy New Years!


Time sure does fly.  In just a blink 2014 is gone. So many changes.  Dragon continues to adjust to civilian life.  He did better in '14 than he did in'13. One daughter got a job and moved out.  She is finally seeing the benefits of a high school diploma and is working on it.  Happy mommy.  Another daughter is getting ready for college.  The next daughter lives her chosen sport and is absolutely boy crazy.  My son?  Typical Jr. High apathy. This to shall pass.

Overall, it was a great year.

I have even broken my rule about NOT making a New Years resolution.

I am going to stop enabling the people of Wal-Mart.  I rarely shop there anyway.  There are just a few things they have that my regular grocery store doesn't have.  My brand of deodorant and tampons.  I found the tampons on Amazon but still need to find the deodorant at a reasonable price.  I am determined to shop Wal-Mart even less this year.

That is one resolution that will be easy to keep.

What was your resolution?


Just one more resolution! More spanking and write more fiction.

Okay.  I know. That was two but who is counting?

Fun stuff!!!!