DD is an off and on thing for us. Mostly off. That's okay. It is what we need it to be. If I go ana, Dragon is ready. He has a few rules that won't be broken. 100% of the time he enforces these rules. I don't break these rules and he has no reason to get out the paddle.
We just don't have the time to dedicate to DD. Dragon works long hours. When he gets home he doesn't want to deal with micromanaging my day. He wants to sit back and relax before bed. Cuddles on the couch is more important than the paddle.
Privacy is another issue. We live in a small house with three teenagers. They are everywhere. The garage doesn't even guarantee privacy. The paddle is loud. If we use a silent implement, I can't be quiet.
Last but not least is my own level of submission. If Dragon got strict it would crush me. I want to please him so much that a hard look breaks my heart. Dragon hates that broken look in my eyes and he will do anything to avoid it.
DD looks different for every couple that lives the lifestyle. That's okay. Your marriage is going to be different than mine. DD is going to be just as different. Goals, likes, wants and circumstances are different.