Friday, July 29, 2011

Helpful Links

I have recently edited my helpful links sections.  Out with the old. In with the new.
The helpful links section is to help people who come to my blog looking for information on DD. Safety, emotional aspects, loving relationships, consent, communication and negotiation. There is so much more to DD than just how to punish. It is about a loving relationship between two people made better.
I now have only two links listed. I am looking for more ideas. Books, bible studies and links. I am open to more ideas.

The Yahoo christian domestic discipline group is a good place to find information and get advice. After you join the group be sure to visit their files section. There is more helpful information there than I have found anywhere else. Be prepared for disagreements.  Not sure how to post a link for but it is there.  

Be cautious of paid web pages. As with anything take the information you find useful and send the rest to the recycle bin.  

Added today
Christian dd    It has not been updated in several years, a pain to navigate but does have useful info.
Also added was one of the many anti dd pages out there. I think we can all learn from what the page says. I know I will be including topics from the page in future blogs in an effort to address some of the issues mentioned.
I did not add fetlife to the list. It is primarily a fetish networking group but does have groups for Christian submissive wives, a taken-in-hand group and various bible study groups. It can get “interesting” at times

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The Court of Appeals

Life isn’t always fair. That is universally accepted. We learn this very sad fact when we are toddlers. And our chosen life style in of Domestic Discipline is not and exception to that rule. Sometimes he messes up and I get punished. Life isn’t fair.
When we first started on our DD journey we didn’t talk about an appeals process. It wasn‘t discussed. We didn’t need to talk about it. It was already established in our house hold. Anytime a decision is made in our family, anyone can appeal it. From the very youngest member to the oldest. There are a few rules that go along with it.
1. The words “may I appeal” must be used before the argument is made

2. A respectful tone of voice will be used
3. No whining.
This process has gotten me out of several well deserved punishments. Every incident that comes to mind, I had earned punishment. One severe and another very mild. I made my argument, he considered all the facts and he gave me the gift of mercy.
A house full of teenagers, a date night intended to be relaxing, verbal reminders before swats. Would it be fair to be spanked in a house full of teenagers that aren’t mine?

Ok then, lets wait until after we get back from our date…

Um. I won’t have fun if I know I’ll be punished when we get home.

Ok then. Don’t let it happen again.
That was it. Over and done with. No spanking, no guilt and an evening out to enjoy.
I have a husband that looks at all sides of the issue. I don’t always agree with his decision but I know he considers my side of the story before the paddle is used.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

It is official

I’m Sunk

It is official. He is a spanko. No turning back.
From the horses mouth….
You were just so sexy over my lap. I couldn’t help it. Your @$$ bare and turning red. What is a man to do?
Yep. I’m sunk. Here I am upset about being punished and he is thinking about sex… sigh….

Friday, July 22, 2011

Confession time.....And the Consequences

I messed up today. BIG TIME! ! ! I lost my temper with the kids and said some things I shouldn’t have. C on an algebra test, D in English for one of the kids and she didn’t bother to take notes in either subject. Nothing written down. GRRRR. I warned her about that. Lectured over and over. Write it to learn it! ! But she doesn’t listen. Another kid is determined Not to learn how to do long division! ! ! We have been on this for over a month and she still needs me right there beside her telling her where to put the numbers. My son does half a page of math then decides he is done as soon as I get up from the table to do some laundry. This is simple stuff, I know he knows how to do it! Grrrrr.
This is one of those days.
Now when Dragon gets home, I have something very unpleasant to do. I have to confess. Anybody want to do it for me? Please?
I know. I could always smile and say everything is peachy sunshine…. Right?
Or I could do the right thing and face the consequences.
He may pull me into his arms and offer a few moments of comfort before he goes to take care of the issues with the kids.
He may lecture me on the importance of self-control and make sure the lessons is learned. Burning backside, tears and a very humble wife.
Can I be thankful he can’t read my blog at work? I know the kids won’t tell daddy. They would get in trouble too.
Yes, I know. The second option is much more likely than the first.
On top of everything else, the mid week stress relief was a day late. Thursday instead of Wednesday. My backside is still a little sore.

I know what to do. I need the strength to do it. I am ashamed. I acted like a frustrated child. Now it is time to face the consequences.

Trade places with me????



......And the consequences

He came home from work 2 hours early. I wasn’t ready. I felt sick at my stomach. Those butterflies were working overtime in my poor tummy. Nervously, I confessed. Starting from the beginning of the day, I told him what happened.
He agreed. I had been played. For weeks she has known how to do these problems but was playing me because she didn’t want to do them. First he dealt with the naughty child. He told her the consequences if her behavior continued. PUBLIC SCHOOL! She didn’t like that one bit. Public school means no hockey or figure skating. Nothing good can come from that. And he sent her back to the table to play catch up from all those days piddling.
The weed eater needed repair, The car needs to be timed. A room needs to be painted. Yep.
You are thinking right. He went about his afternoon like nothing happened but I knew he was thinking. The throb in his temple and that look on his face told me that this wasn’t over. Finally when I couldn’t stand it any longer, I had to ask.

I know I messed up. I know there are going to be consequences. It is all over your face. What are you going to do?

Well now that you mention it,… are absolutely right. I have been thinking about that for a little while now. Do you want you swats now or latter?

You sent her to the table to do her math. It can’t be now. We don’t have privacy.

Yes we do. Come on. Let’s go to the garage.

But but but.


In the garage there was no lecture. He pulled out a chair, dusted it off and called me to him. I just knew I was going to be sick.

Drop um.
Ummm No.
NOW! (I dropped my capris but not my panties) Those too.
I dropped them as little as possible. He tapped his lap and pulled me over his knee. The paddle fell 8 stinging times. No warm up. With every swat I squeaked and me feet came up. No staying silent for this one. He lightly brushed the skin. I could feel the heat rising. Seven more time the paddle fell. My backside was on fire. Tears didn’t fall but it was a close thing.
He helped me stand. Firmly held my arms and moved me until I was standing in front of him. Panties around my knees.
Now. Did the punishment fit the crime?

Quietly, I replied yes. He helped me re dress and held me in his lap until I began to calm down. He promised an evening of fun to make up for my hard day and continued on his day like nothing happened.


Monday, July 18, 2011

The Watchful Dragon

Nope. I don’t have a knight in shining armor. I have a watchful Dragon and I am his. He is watchful, diligent and protective. Nope. I wouldn’t trade him for anything.
Last night, before our weekly stress relief session, he made sure I was comfortable first. The house was hot and our bedroom was even hotter. I was miserable. He stepped into the bathroom and didn’t let me see what he was up to. He wet a bath towel, made sure a it wouldn’t drip and spread it across my back. Then he warmed my backside.
Every break he mercifully gave me, he folded the towel down to cool flaming backside. He rubbed the tender skin for about a minute and continued his torture. This spanking was light compared to some but I am still a little sore this morning. He petted and sweet talked. Hugged, kissed and cuddled. When I saw the whip tails peeking out from under my gym bad, he switched things up. The towel moved up to my neck and the whips fell across my back in an unforgettable rain of leather.
It went from stress relief to all pleasure in a matter of seconds. Some how he even made our lightest, softest flogger sting and bite. He kept checking in. Asking for my safe word. I gave him yellow once and a few times I didn’t answer. After about 5 minutes he decided that was enough. It wasn’t nearly hard enough to leave a mark. That would take 20 minutes or more.
He unfolded the towel. It stretched from neck to knees and felt like heaven. When he decided it was time to brush teeth and get ready for bed, he removed my nice cool towel.
Time to get a wiggle on. My kitchen helper is sick today. It is my self appointed chore to help her out. Laundry needs to be washed, the bed stripped, sheets washed and school work done. Ok…. That sounds like a lot. AND the camisole I made to go with my new pj bottoms is way WAY too big. Oops. One size up makes a huge difference. Back to the cutting board on that one. It will only take me about an hour to make a new, much smaller camisole.
Mt Never-Rest here I come. Where is that Dragon when I need him?

Saturday, July 16, 2011


What is trust? What is love? What is it to be IN Love?

I’m no expert. It may seem that way to some but I’m not.
In the 17 years I have been with my dragon we have fallen in and out of love several times. Trust has been broken on both sides. Feeling have been hurt. We have both suffered heart break and heart ache. When others would have given up and divorced, we held on. In seemingly hopeless situations, we have persevered.
Determination, dedication and commitment.

This is why we are together and very much in love.
Determination to make it when times get hard. Our wedding vows we said all those years ago meant every to us. For better or for worse. No one told us how bad worse could get. No one told us how much love hurts. Yet every night we go to bed together. We sleep in the same bed, side by side. Rarely angry with each other. That is Determination.

Dedication. Life pulls us apart. His job, the kids, friends, hobbies. It only our dedication to making our marriage last, that keeps us together at times. It isn’t easy. Some times we get so close to saying, ENOUGH! But then we remember that word. Dedication. We are dedicated to our marriage. WE face the world TOGETHER! WE not me. Not you. WE are Wed. Forever. Till death do us part.
Commitment means that even when things get hard, we keep going. Falling asleep next to someone who has deeply hurt you is hard. Sharing that same bed night after night isn’t always easy. I think it one reason we are still together. Our refusal to let anger and hurt control our relationship.
In those times we have fallen “out of love” we put the effort back into our relationship. We work hard to get back what we lost. Picnics, movie dates, rocking on the porch. How did we fall in love the first time? We remember and do it all over again.
I see people divorce after less than a year together. They practice what I call serial monogamy. Married time after time after time. There is no determination, only defeat. They are not dedicated to a life together. They are dedicated to their won selfish desires. I’m not even sure some of them realize that marriage is a lifetime commitment. They should understand what they are getting into but they don’t.
Marriage is the best decision I ever made. I go to sleep every night in the arms of my best friend. But…. It isn’t always easy. The road to ruin is a paved divided highway. The road to a lifetime relationship is narrow and treacherous. It is easy to fall in the valleys. It is easy to get lost. To stumble. It is inevitable. You will get hurt. However, if you are committed, you learn how to climb back up, you learn about forgiveness and unconditional love.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011


I didn’t think I could cry with a spanking. It wasn’t even a punishment. Simply a mid week maintenance. Yet, my tears fell.
It was late. The kids all sleeping, chores done, dogs fed and the house secured for the night. I had just finished a long, relaxing bubble bath. Dressed in a gown and panties, I crawled under the sheets. Sleepy and ready for bed. My Dragon had other ideas.
He walked around the bed to my side. Reaching down, he picked up the walnut paddle. It is the darkest in our collection. The wood is beautiful. He sat for a moment admiring the grain and color of his chosen tool. Then he said those awful words.
Roll over my love.
It started out like any other. Gentile taps, slowly warming up the skin. The intensity increased quickly. Faster than I expected. Soon I was squirming away from the paddle. He held me firmly in place. I protested but it didn’t matter. The paddle continued to fall.
I asked if I had done something wrong. I asked if he was mad at me. Never had a spanking hurt like this one.
Unbelievably the intensity increased yet again. Tears filled my eyes. It was so hard not to cry out when the paddle hit my backside.
Finally he stopped and rubbed the burning skin. He saw the tears collecting on my eyelashes and he was pleased. I didn’t completely let go of my pride. I wasn’t able to let go of that last shred of dignity but it was a close thing. It was the very first time tears stung my eyes during a spanking.
Tears were his goal. He said I needed to cry. That they were building up inside and needed to fall.
He was right. Why did he have to be right about that one?
I fell asleep in his arms with a burning backside and a tear stained pillow.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Mind reader (written by request)

Him: I think you read my mind
Her: How it that?
About the time I decide to step up the tempo you start bringing things up that you want to work on. It falls right in line with what I have already decided.
Yes. I know I am on the right track when you do that to me. Very reassuring.
Hmm then I’ll have to stop doing that, won’t I?
Maybe I’m an odd duck. Not sure. But when I feel ready. When I know I have adjusted to the old standards, I ask for help with something new. I ask him to enforce a rule with a stiffer penalty. I may even ask him for a new rule. (yes, I know it sounds a little crazy.) But you see, I am so very rarely punished. Less than a hand full of times since we have started TTWD. I feel comfortable that he isn’t abusing his power and authority. Every stage has been easy to adjust to for the most part. He does teas some but when he finds out it hurts me, he stops every time.
Yep. I have a good man. As we slowly move into this new stage of our relationship trust is growing. Fewer fights, not that there were ever very many. He is holding himself to a higher standard, helping more with the kids and being more consistent with his expectations. Always a good thing.
What should have been a very stressful summer has turned into a relaxing, enjoyable time together. Family time. Time to bond with our younger children. When I begin to get restless and feel a little edgy, he takes it to the seat of the problem before I have a melt down. Before that punishment is earned, it gets taken care of. Good thing too, I hate punishment.
He decided to step up the severity of punishment. He thought it was time for those tears to flow. Not even a week latter I ask him when he was going to. He decided to hold me accountable for my daily task (which was getting done sporadically). You got it. I asked for it less than a week after he made the decision. He stepped up stress relief without mentioning it was going to happen. In a series of steps over a couple of weeks, I noticed my backside getting blistered more every session. Again. It was a good thing. (this one I didn’t ask for, didn’t have to,) He noticed my stress level rising and he stepped in.
My backside is sore from stress relief last night. Something I noticed, he avoided the sit spot. He usually gets a few good swats in on that very sensitive spot. Not this time. Yes, I asked him why.
“I need to be able to punish you, don’t I? If your entire bottom is sore, I wouldn’t be able to punish you the way I need to.”
I’m worried. He saved the sit spot. It is almost like he expects to punish this week. I thought he was just one step ahead of me. I wonder if he took a few more steps than I thought? Maintenance has stepped up sharply. Somehow, I know I don’t want to know what he has in mind for punishment.
Ever feel like your HOH is just waiting for you to mess up? Ever feel like he is watching every move you make? Waiting for just the right moment to swoop in and wear your backside out and good?
Yep. I feel that way right now. I am sitting on a sore backside as I type, wondering how I am going to sit at all, when he decides to take advantage of the spot he saved for punishment.
Ps. This blog was written under orders from the Dragon. He made it a quiet suggestion but I have been married to this man long enough to know it for it what it was. An order. Sitting on a sore backside, I could hardly take it as anything less.

Friday, July 8, 2011

My week re-written

I found out that a dear friend from high school shares many of my interests. She was wearing a slave collar in a photo. I immediately recognized it for what it is. Imagine my excitement? A real life friend I can really talk too. Yippee. I don’t know that she is into DD but people who are involved in alternative lifestyles are typically more open to the idea of a husband spanking his wife.
Wiggles and giggles. It made a very long week just a little easier to deal with.
My week didn’t start going down hill until Wednesday evening. A line of high powered people don’t need the authority they have. With a one sided story, punishment was handed out to my husband, he was allowed to say nothing in his defense. So very wrong. All I can say is KARMA. What goes around comes around. I have noticed that people like that ruin themselves in the end. I don’t need to do anything to get my revenge. I get a ring side seat while they dig their own grave.
Yep. I have had a few days this week to remember why I like four legged furry critters more that most people. I can’t believe how the gossip mill has escalated what really happened. I can’t believe how much this whole incident has blown up. It is ridiculous.
Hate people. Love dogs.
My Dragon knows just how to put my mind at ease. Just before bed time he asked me a question.
“hot, warm or cool.”
It took me a few minutes to figure out what he was asking….. Think think think…..
A bubble bath! ! !
Hot! It has been a cool day.. Ok. It was in the 80s but after a string of days over 100 it felt positively cold to me.
He fixed a bath overflowing with bubbles! ! ! I sank down into the water with relief. The water went from a little too hot, to just right, warm and finally too cool to be comfortable.
When I finished getting ready for bed, Dragon led me to the bed. He folded the sheet down, stacked the pillows to his satisfaction and I knew what to do. I arranged myself over the pillows and he preceded to lower my stress level quite successfully.
One stinging swat after another, my body relaxed. I could feel my mind letting go of all the negative crap that hit so suddenly. He is there for me. He is head of this house. I had a firm reminder that it isn’t my job to worry. It is his job to shoulder these burdens. It is my job to be his wife. To love him and be there for him at the end of the day. My job is hard enough without taking on part of his.

Stinging swat after stinging swat. The paddle fell over and over again. Never too hard. Just hard enough to leave a good sting behind and remind me that he is mine and I am his. We made love. Tender. Gentile.
Bubble bath, paddle, love making. What a evening! I fell asleep in his loving arms.
I remember his arms around me as he whispered words of love into my ear. The next thing I remember is my great dane waking me seconds before the alarm clock buzzed. His huge nose less than an inch from mine. Giggles. It was a good way to start my day.
One more day to deal with before the weekend. I will say a prayer for my husband as he tries to resolve the issues he faces at work. I will work hard today to make his home a sanctuary for him. I want him to have a restful evening after a very long week.
Love my man.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Happy Independence Day! ! !

**Disclaimer-- This post has nothing to do DD and everything to do with being an American.

I have a face book friend who posted this on her wall.
I'll be perky and patriotic when we don't engage in pointless wars for oil grabs; when veterans get their just benefits and don't have to go homeless; when women can serve in all aspects of the military and aren't sexually harassed but are treated as equals. I appreciate my freedom, but I do not ever support the military-industrial complex, defense spending, or the "honor without support" that is shown to veterans. 

I disagree with her. To not celebrate the Independence Day is a slap in the face to every military member who has ever served my country. I am proud to be an American. Here we have freedoms that aren’t enjoyed other places.

I can carry my gun strapped to my side openly. I can read my Bible, Quran or any other holy book anywhere I choose. I can protest our government and call them names. I don’t have to support any political party. The retards, demarats or the tea baggers. I can bow my head to pray. Call the president a flippin idiot. I have the right to hold a job, educate myself and raise my kids as I see fit. I can own my own home or pull my home behind my truck!
It is a great day to be an American.
Today we will stuff ourselves with food right off the grill and enjoy our day. We will take time out of our day to remember those families who are serving our country. We will also bow our heads to pray for those who have given their lives to protect my freedoms.

Happy Independence Day! ! !

 Ps Last time I checked America did not make a profit off of the oil in Iraq and Afghanistan is not known as an oil producing country. It is up to every American who enjoys our freedoms to support our veterans. Don’t wait on our government to give them a hand our! Give them a HAND UP!

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Ask for it, brat for it……

Or wait until it is really and truly earned? I for one, will NOT brat for a punishment. I don’t want to be punished! Period! End of story. But what about those days that I just feel off? Irritated at the kids over nothing. Overwhelmed with all that needs to be done. Nothing is going my way. And I am determined that every person in my family will be as miserable as I am.
The way I see it, I can let things continue just the way they are. I can say I’ll do better all I want but the negativity will continue until they are dealt with. A long walk, a trip the gym or a ride on the motorcycle would take care of it. If my family could spare my presence for a few hours. Today they need me.
I’m stuck. A punishment will happen. Yep. I’ll feel better after it is done but only after a lot of hard feeling and an emotional storm. That won’t be good for anybody. I can see it coming. I can feel it.
The other option is to speak up. To ask for a very much needed stress relief. It won’t be fun. If he reads my body language right it will be a hard one. One of those that makes me wonder why I ever asked for this. The paddle will fall and I will try to squirm away. I’ll beg for mercy.
So why is speaking up better than waiting? All the negative junk will be taken care of during the spanking. The endorphins will spike. And balance will replace a hormone induced rage that is simmering just under the surface of my mind.
My tummy hurts, I feel lethargic and just plain out nasty. I haven’t started yet and forgot to mark my last start date on the calendar but judging by the way I feel, it is close.
Ice pack for my head, heating pad for my tummy. I want to go back to bed.
Here goes nothing. I’m gonna ask for it.
Done…. Now I we have to wait for a private moment. I am to work in my sewing room until then. I have a client waiting on a corset. I have to get busy! ! ! She wants an uderbust leather corset. Nope. I don’t have a pattern and I have never sewn leather on my machine before. So, I am making a test model first. Wish me luck! (I wonder if she wants extra reduction in the waist too? Forgot to ask.) I am going to make this one for a 4 in. reduction. Most I make for a 2 in. reduction. Lots of new features on this one. Fun fun. I love it when I get to be creative.
On my cutting table now. An ice dance dress, 3 corsets, two sets of Victorian underwear and an heirloom bishop baby dress.

Friday, July 1, 2011

What are we truly asking our men to do?

As a boy he is taught not to hit girls. To defend himself is ok but no more than that. Not EVER. In school he gets a daily dose of equality. Boys and Girls are equal. Girls are just as smart, just as strong and have the same rights as boys. Girls are no longer the weaker sex but rather strong leaders. Right?
Stepping into the career world, men are taught that women are equal. My Dragon has had several female supervisors. Formidable women that he must submit to. Women with power. These women give the orders, commands and punishment. The stand there like mad kittens hissing at their subordinates and despise the very ground they walk on. Not very female supervisor is like this but I know you have met one or two. (I’ve had a few male supervisors like this too.)
Along comes his new wife. A free spirited feminist. “You male chauvinistic pig, You won’t be the boss of me! NO WAY.” Some where in the journey of life she realizes that her way isn’t working. She is a destructive force in her marriage. She loves her husband and children very much. No one questions her love for her family. Ok. One person questions it. She does. She acknowledges her temper and her selfish behavior. She sees how she is destroying the very people she claims to love most in this world.
In this day and age of computers, she turns to her friend Google to find a solution. She is scandalized at the thought that there are me who spank their wives but she is captivated too. Could this be a real solution? Will it work for her marriage? Is this the magic bullet that will save her from herself? For months she secretly reads articles and blogs. Researching it. Trying to get her mind around the idea. Submission, obedience, accountability, punishment. WOW! What radical new ideas these are.
She reads testimony after testimony. The struggles. The difficulties. The trials. She is terrified but sees this as her only chance. It is this or divorce. She asks, “how am I going to tell my husband? He is going to think I am crazy.” Six months to a year latter she brings up the subject with her dear husband. Full of hopes. With a rosy unrealistic view of what Domestic Discipline really is.
Fearfully but with hope she presents the idea to her husband. He is reluctant. “Men don’t hit woman! We are equal.” He gives it some thought. “You know, she really wants this and something has to change. This may be the answer.” Hmmmm. He decided to take it slow. Methodical. One step at a time. He is trying to get his mind around the things his wife is asking for.
She is impatient, demanding and as controlling as ever.
A rule is agreed upon by both of them. She agrees to the consequences. He agrees to lay down the consequences even though he knows it will hurt him much more than it will hurt her. It will hit his heart. His very manhood to strike his wife. To cause her pain is unthinkable. Yet here she is asking for it.
The rule is broken. She is acting like a complete brat. Childish and selfish. Ok. It is time for him to step up. He is nervous and unsure of himself. This is new to him too. This idea of being HOH. He doesn’t want to be a tyrant but this has to end! And so the journey begins.
She is defiant and screams at him. She calls him a jackalope. She is going to do what she wants to do and it doesn’t matter what he wants. She didn’t agree to this. NO WAY. She agreed that it should go her way and this isn’t her way!
He is defeated. Head bowed in submissions. Shoulders rounded in defeat. He misunderstood what she was asking for. That is the only explanation. Or maybe it was just another one of her games. Who knows. He is done with this game.
Latter she realizes what she has done. She is horrified by her actions. “What have I done?” She goes to him, frightened but submissive. Finally she understands what it means to submit and she understand her mistake. She begs him to try again. She promices to do better and she does. Sometimes. This is a compleat change of lifestyle. She understands that now. It takes time to change. It is still hard but now she is trying harder than ever to be the wife he deserves.
After a few starts and stops, she is naked, her bottom presented to him for punishment. What has to be going on in his mind? “I can’t hit her. I love her. I can’t possibly cause her pain. But I have to. I have to do this.” Then lo and behold. He leave a mark on he pristine skin. Her eyes fill with tears and his heart breaks. “what have I done. I can’t do this!”
With no thought to what is going on in his mind she pushes forward with determination and more demanding. Sometimes I think our men are nagged into TTWD. We force them to take action out of frustration. Who wants to be nagged?
Step back and ask yourself how all of this is affecting him? My husband can see the results of this lifestyle and likes it. He is starting to really step up and be the head of our home. I am usually obedient. He is almost always on top of things. He still slips. I am still a spoiled brat. I am still his china doll. But now we have the means to bring piece to our home. He lets the small things slide but if it is something that is really destructive, he takes this to the seat of the problem. My backside.
Submit to your husband. Even if he doesn’t understand show him that you are trying to change. Show him that you are willing to change for him. Show him how very much you love him, how much you trust him. You are asking him to take on a huge responsibility. You are asking him to against the very nature of what he is. Your protector. He may not think he is ready. Show him that he is a capable, strong man. It is something only you can do.