What is trust? What is love? What is it to be IN Love?
I’m no expert. It may seem that way to some but I’m not.
In the 17 years I have been with my dragon we have fallen in and out of love several times. Trust has been broken on both sides. Feeling have been hurt. We have both suffered heart break and heart ache. When others would have given up and divorced, we held on. In seemingly hopeless situations, we have persevered.
Determination, dedication and commitment.
This is why we are together and very much in love.
Determination to make it when times get hard. Our wedding vows we said all those years ago meant every to us. For better or for worse. No one told us how bad worse could get. No one told us how much love hurts. Yet every night we go to bed together. We sleep in the same bed, side by side. Rarely angry with each other. That is Determination.
Dedication. Life pulls us apart. His job, the kids, friends, hobbies. It only our dedication to making our marriage last, that keeps us together at times. It isn’t easy. Some times we get so close to saying, ENOUGH! But then we remember that word. Dedication. We are dedicated to our marriage. WE face the world TOGETHER! WE not me. Not you. WE are Wed. Forever. Till death do us part.
Commitment means that even when things get hard, we keep going. Falling asleep next to someone who has deeply hurt you is hard. Sharing that same bed night after night isn’t always easy. I think it one reason we are still together. Our refusal to let anger and hurt control our relationship.
In those times we have fallen “out of love” we put the effort back into our relationship. We work hard to get back what we lost. Picnics, movie dates, rocking on the porch. How did we fall in love the first time? We remember and do it all over again.
I see people divorce after less than a year together. They practice what I call serial monogamy. Married time after time after time. There is no determination, only defeat. They are not dedicated to a life together. They are dedicated to their won selfish desires. I’m not even sure some of them realize that marriage is a lifetime commitment. They should understand what they are getting into but they don’t.
Marriage is the best decision I ever made. I go to sleep every night in the arms of my best friend. But…. It isn’t always easy. The road to ruin is a paved divided highway. The road to a lifetime relationship is narrow and treacherous. It is easy to fall in the valleys. It is easy to get lost. To stumble. It is inevitable. You will get hurt. However, if you are committed, you learn how to climb back up, you learn about forgiveness and unconditional love.