Sunday, November 29, 2015

Warm and Safe

I am warm and safe while Dragon is out in the cold, wet weather.  He works hard to provide for our family.   I have been working in my sewing room on a project for a client and an apron for a fundraiser at our church.  A normal Sunday.

I took an unexpected break from blog land.  I'm not sure why other than just to say life.  While I was away many of the bloggers I followed went away.  They moved on to better things or just didn't need blog land anymore.  Who knows.  The problem is that my news feed is lonely.  Three bloggers post several times a week and another pops his head up occasionally.  I need new reading material.

Any ideas?  Please post a link to your favorite blogs or even your own!  Help me get reconnected!


Friday, November 27, 2015

The Day After

We have all heard of Black Friday.  The biggest shopping day of the year.  Huge door busting sales, long lines and impossible parking.  It is a mad house.  One I avoid at all costs!

But here is a new color for you.


Yep.  It is exactly what you are thinking.  That is if you are thinking gross thoughts.  Here is an article a dear Facebook friend posted just to make sure I had no appetite for leftovers. BROWN FRIDAY

I hope my readers have a little more self control and self respect. Did you find any nasty messes out shopping?

Saturday, November 21, 2015

A Charlie Brown Christmas

Deployed to Afghanistan, living in a dilapidated k hut, it was Christmas again. Another year away from home and family.  On a wooden table sat a small Christian tree a loving wife sent from home, complete with decorations.  The chow hall worked hard to put a nice dinner on the table.  Cheerful decorations, food and friends.  What else could you want?

 Only the most important thing of all.  Family

There are no gifts under the tree.  No little squeals from children discovering the exciting new toys Santa Claus left under the tree.  Instead they get word to expect wounded. A neighboring fob was hit.  5 dead and more wounded Christmas day.  As they eat they hear mortars exploding in the distance.

Now I understand

Thank you my dearest Dragon.

Thank you for trying.

This year we have a huge tree.  It takes up most of the living room.  No Charlie Brown tree for us this year and no one gets to feel lonely.

I can't fix the survivors guilt but I can absolutely make sure that everyone in my family feels loved.

Friday, November 20, 2015


I did it.  I didn't even need to confess the obvious defiance.  He already had it on his mind. He just nodded his head.  It was a pillow talk confession so any action on it was delayed.

Late Wednesday evening as we walked in the door, Dragon headed to the garage and invited me to join him.  I won't call it a punishment but it wasn't fun either.  More of a clean slate, let's start over kinda spanking. I did get a short warm up but not on the tender sit spot where the hardest swats landed.  I think Dragon discovered how sensitive that area is.  I expect to get many more swats in the sweet spot.  Knowing him, that is where he will concentrate punishment swats from now on.  Owie.

The garage wasn't cold but it was uncomfortably cool, especially with a bare backside.  I tried to turn it into love making but he wasn't having that.  Right down to business.  Jeans down, panties down.  Down further.  I left the sweet spot covered.  No lecture, just a reminder to use my safe words.  The first 10 swats were moderate but then he really got into it.  When he realized that I was getting close to my limit he gave me a number.  4!  Two on each side.  I expected them to land where the other swats had.  Nope.  He didn't go for my nice warmed up bottom.  These landed in that hated spot.  Wowza.  He has landed a few mild swats there in the past but never really hard swats.  While I was still panting over them he talked about rules.  Cussing, forgetting my asthma meds and getting my chores done.

The next day I looked at an overwhelming pile of laundry. I almost left it there.  Then I remembered something.  I don't want to defy him. Not even in a small way.  I want to show him that I am trying.  That will mean more fun spankings and fewer reminders or punishments.

We have slowly been buying things for the house we plan to build.  A kitchen sink, a bathroom cabinet.  Things we really like.  I found a small cast iron stove at the farm store.  Dragon got it for me for Christmas!  This winter we are setting it up in the garage, our play space.  My little propane heater just wasn't enough.

I think he is trying to get it warm enough for more serious play and even more serious punishment.

After watching me do my yoga workout, Dragon has discovered that kneeling doesn't hurt me one little bit.  He is very happy with that discovery.

New heater + newly discovered sit spot + kneeling position.  Then there is the new level of surrender he has been getting from me.  I think life is getting very interesting again.

Time to get my chores done and walk the dogs.  I don't want any more swats landing on thAt spot. Yikes.  Who knows, I might even earn a fun spanking!  I really need one after that owza spanking.

Monday, November 16, 2015

The Holiday Season

Why does it have to be a season?  Starting in October, it doesn't end until mid December.  Out pastor encourages everyone to leave the Christmas decorations up until the very end of the celebration in January.

Did I mention that Dragon finds the Holidays difficult?  He has never been a fan of mandatory love but after Afghanistan, he just can't cope. Then there is the rush at work.  Very long hours and unreasonable expectations. They have a supervisor that is clueless and huge changes to deal with.

PTSD is so much fun!  Unless you live with a vet, there is no way to describe it.  I can put it into words but they just aren't descriptive enough to make you u/nderstand.

But he is still trying.

My new found bravery with giving oral pleasure has turned into a great distraction.  I love taking him by surprise.  After several years of luke warm DD and a HOH that is mostly checked out, this is refreshing.

When he starts getting relaxed from work all I have to do is touch his zipper.  I have his full attention.  I am getting much better at saying yes and even using my safe words before thing go over the edge.

The harder he pushes the softer my hard limits become.  Yes, oral is a hard limit.  Was? Is? Maybe? I don't know what it is anymore.

This new level is distracting both of us from what is usually a very hard time of the year.  Instead of crying I am looking forward to adding something else new.  I am looking forward to taking him and being taken by him.

 I am tempted to confess a major rule violation to get the punishment that I know I deserve.  Yes, I still hate punishment but I love what happens after it is done.  The lovemaking and reconnection.  I am forgiven. I feel sexy, wanted, loved and desired.  It is the ultimate feeling of femininity.  Fragile and strong all at the same time.  The bad is shattered and the good is left behind for both of us.

Why confess now?  I think it will do us both good.  Yes, I am going to do it. The challenge is going to be being completely honest.  Telling him all of it and not shrinking back from the paddle.  If I can do this, our lovemaking will be that much better.

Wish me luck.

And please say a prayer for the combat veterans you know. 22 suicides every day is to many.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Happy Veterans Day

Today is a day for the living.  To honor those who have served our country and those who are currently serving.  Say an extra prayer for those who aren't in battle anymore but can't seem to leave the battlefield.  Nightmares of death last a lifetime.  Pick up the phone and say thanks. Shake a stranger's hand or mail a letter to a young person serving.  The Littlest things mean the most.

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Hitting the Right Button

Dragon knows exactly which button to push to make me melt.  He forgets occasionally but he is on it right now.

What button is that?

The backside

He mentions a rule violations.  That gets my mind on the paddle.  Why?  He gives me warning for most things.  Forgetting my rescue inhaler or letting a cuss words slip.  All he has to do is ask if I need a punishment.


He has my attention and my head goes into subspace.

He has kept me in subspace for weeks.

How? Easy

Dropped hints, a hand on my backside, his fingers reminding me that I will submit and orders to use toys when he isn't home.  My backside is his to use as he pleases even when he isn't home. He even specifies which toy to insert and how long it will remain in place.

At random intervals he will whisper in my ear that he wants my mouth.  He leads me to the bedroom and knows that I'll submit.  On my knees in front of him I open my mouth.  It isn't easy for me.  It is a struggle because I give up all control.  It is how he knows I have absolutely surrendered.  It shows him that his attention to the rules and claiming my backside is working.

That I obey him even when he isn't home shows that he is doing something right.  The more I submit, the more he takes the lead. I still say no occasionally.  Just this morning I refused sex.  I woke up to a very bad headache.  That is acceptable because I submitted yesterday.

Stress levels are high but we are getting closer instead of letting all the crap separate us again.

Dragon is at work and I need to get busy.  While I have a private moment I need to take care of my more private duties.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

The Ds

Dragon is sneaky. He has been bringing back the rules slowly.  Just a little at a time, he lets me know that they still apply.

1. Disobedience
2. Dangerous
3. Disrespect
4. Dishonesty

He has been giving me little reminders for months.  No wonder I have been in such a submissive state.  HE PUT ME THERE!  

I get frustrated and the f bomb comes out of my mouth.  He just reminds me that it is against the rules.  I get frustrated with the kids and start screaming like a maniac, he steps into his HOH role and gently reminds me who is in charge.
Yes, the weather is getting cooler but the garage is getting some use now. Not punishment but little stress relievers.  More play than anything else.  Dragon even got a small wood burning stove to put out there. A place to warm my hands while my backside is getting warmed.

I think I have a sneaky Dragon