Tuesday, July 31, 2012

We have a house!

Yippee! ! !

Now we need to figure out how to get our stuff.  I have to make a few phone calls today.  The email I have doesn't work and my cell phone is dead.

Now about the house.  It is a cute little country cottage.   Little is the key word there but we will fit.    Space is premium.  It has a large yard, dog pen and a detached garage.  Only one bathroom though.  I may have to put a porta-potty in the laundry room for emergencies.     I am looking forward to moving in.

Privacy!  The house may not provide much but the garage will.  WEG.

The rent was more than what we wanted to pay.  I just hope we can make it.  Houses in the city run $100-200 but with 3 asthmatics in the house, I thought that was a very bad idea.  The smog is bad, even without inversion conditions we had in the mountains.

I am worried about money but relieved too.  Please keep the prayers coming as we adjust to civilian life.  Dragons PTSD is bad right now.  Military life may be behind us but the scars of war will never go away.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Safe words

I have been asked how safe words work with Domestic Discipline.  It is obvious how they work with play.  To me it is just as obvious how they work with DD.

Green does not always mean all is right with my little world when used for DD.  It simply means that I am ok and the session can continue.  My heart may be breaking and my tears may be soaking his shirt but I can continue.

Yellow means something needs to be adjusted.  Punishment should be painful but that doesn't mean it has to cut off my breathing or that my hair trapped under his leg is ok.  That hurts and isn't part of the punishment.  Yellow lets us readjust positions, get a drink of water and continue.

Red!  Now that is the big one.  That word stops a punishment cold.  If I feel he is too angry or I am.  If I feel that he isn't listening to my side of the story.  If I think the punishment isn't justified.  All of these are valid reasons to call red.  My hearing is better.  The phone may be ringing or there may be someone at the door.  So many reasons to call red.

Wouldn't no work just as good?  Or just saying "wait a minute"  Yep, it sure would but would it get his attention as fast?  Safe words are ingrained in our minds.  They have more meaning than no or wait.  They are specific in meaning and intent.   I can scream no and stop all I want during a punishment but it won't do any good.  It makes me feel better but I know he really won't stop.  He will finish what he started and continue until I submit.

So what happens when I call Red during a punishment?  It isn't over and done with.  Red is not a get out of jail free card.  He lets me up and we talk.  We may go about our day like nothing special happened.  But we are both still thinking.  What went wrong?  Was the spanking fair?  Was it deserved?  Who was wrong?  Latter in the day, we sit down together and talk.

I will admit, I am usually wrong.  Something about being a spoiled rotten brat and wanting my way.  Foot stomping, door slamming, filthy mouthed and spoiled.  That is me.  I can't always admit it when he wants me to.  It takes time for me to see the damage I have done with my stubborn ways.  I have to see the wedge I have created between us.  I can't do that when I am angry.

After the talk, then comes the lecture all over again.  By this time my tears are falling.  Given time to process what happened, I begin to feel guilty. The spanking doesn't cause the tears nor does the lecture.   After I have gained some self control, I go back over his lap to finish the punishment.  It isn't any harder because of the delay.  Dragon only spanks me until he feels my body submit.  That usually doesn't take long after a good cry.

Red has not negative consequences as long as it isn't misused.  The only reason a spanking would be any worse is if I did something else during that down time to deserve it.  Lets say I got off of Dragons lap after redding out and called him a f--ing a$$blaster.  Yes, that would earn more swats.  He would probably put me back otk and take care of that right then and there.  The punishment I redded out of would still be waiting.

That is how it works for us.  I couldn't live this lifestyle without the safety net of safe words.  They are there for both of us.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Shaving and submitting

I am not sure how the topic ever came up.  I shaved for the first time before I ever knew about the internet.  No idea where we got the idea.  I was curious and wanted to please my new husband.  Yes, it has been a few years.

First, I just shaved the lips.  I loved how it felt.  So smooth and sensitive to his touch.  After a while I decided to try to go completely bare.  Didn't like that at all. Not the first time, anyway.

Over the years, I would shave for a while and then let it grow back.  I couldn't make up my mind.  Was it DD that made me change my mind? It was after our very first chat about DD but before we embraced the life style.  I mentioned shaving again and he said he really like me bare down there.  And so it began.
Bikini Zone Anti-Bumps Shave Gel, for Bikini Area, 4 fl oz (120 ml) Tubes, (Case of 6)Gillette Gillette Fusion Proglide Power Razor
For the last 6 years, I have kept it up.  Sometimes I go as long as a week without shaving but it drives me nuts to go much longer.  I don't feel clean if my skin isn't baby smooth.  I still feel shy in front of him.  Knowing that I am completely exposed but at the same time, it makes me feel very submissive. I like that.

One thing I do miss is the sensitivity of freshly shaved skin.  I am working on that.  I have decided to let the hair grow for a while.  That is the only way I know to get that sensation back.  It is at about a quarter inch and is already driving me nuts.  Itchy, uncomfortable and miserable.  I think it will be worth it in the end though.

Do you shave your pubic area?
Why?  Good grooming or to please your partner?

I started shaving for him.  Now I shave for me.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Long Drive and lots of discussion

Dragon finally had 2 days off in a row.  We drove down to my mom's house and picked up the kids.  They were all ready to come back home.  We may not have a house yet but we are still a Family!  On they way down there it was just us.  10 hours in the truck to talk.

An oh boy did we talk.  We talked about sex, kink, play and on a more serious note, DD.  I asked him why role play had gone away.  It pushes my limits and hard.  I will admit that.  Dragon was afraid it pushed me too hard but I miss it.  We talked about where to make our new beginning with this kind of play.  I think with panties.  He picks out my panties and says when they can be worn.  A good place to start that we hope won't push too hard.  

We talked about kneeling.  I have wanted this to be a part of both sides of TTWD for a while.  Kink and punishment.  Now I know why it isn't.  He is afraid of hurting my hip.  I reminded him that i have safe words I can use at any time, for any reason.  I won't put myself in a position that will hurt me.  And I will red out long before I am hurting.  I think he is going to give it a try.  Kneeling on pillows for my comfort.  

He says, but it feels silly.  I reminded him kink did too at first.  And our first few discipline session felt down right foolish to both of us.  I asked him to give it time and try it.  Not just once but several times.  Let's see if this is something that could work for us.  He reluctantly agreed.  

It is probably one of those "humoring the silly wife" things but that is ok.  DD started that way and now he doesn't think it is silly at all.  

Hopefully we will find a house this week.  We are talking to a broker who deals with rentals in a area we would really like to live.  Keep your fingers crossed and say a prayer.  It will be nice to have our own space again.  Privacy to play!  My sewing room so I can make some cute panties!  and back to our routine!  Please pray.  I am tired of being in limbo.  

Monday, July 23, 2012

Spanking Fiction

I love to read.  I read books of all kinds.  Sci-Fi, murder history, horror and romance.  Kinky, Christian, Amish and yes, even spanking fiction.  Not all of the books I read are good or even very readable.  Some are full of typing errors, poor grammar and not well developed.

So, what about spanking fiction.  One book read more like a teenagers text history.  It was full of LOL and LMAO.  What?  In a how to book for spanking?  I was just happy I didn't actually spend money on it.  Most stories start out really good.  Decent character development and plot.  But most go down hill from there.  Most spanking stories are too short and too focused on the main event.  The spanking.  I want to know what happens to the characters.  Where they go in life and what happens to them.

I want more from my books.  So far 50 Shades is the best of the bunch I have read.  With 2 spanking scenes and some negotiation, I didn't have much to offer.  I think that says more about the other books I have read than it does Shades.

If I am reading a short story I expect short and to the point.  If I am reading a novel, I expect more.  Do you have a favorite spanking book?  Does it have more to offer than a few hot spanking scenes?

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Owie My bottom hurts

We made a donuts run and ran to wallyworld for a few things.  Dragon fixed the Ac in the camper for the cat  and tried to repair the wind damage to the tents from last nights storm.  When we came back inside, we realized that the house was empty and would be until well after 12.

I went back to the bedroom to read blogs and play on facebook.  Quiet time you know.

Dragon had other ideas.

He brought a chair into the bedroom and positioned it in an open area of the room.  The paddle appeared in his hand from some unknown hiding spot and he tapped his leg with the dark wooded plank.  I know what that means.

"Put down what you are doing and come here.  This one is going to be too hard to take on the bed."

For the really bad ones, I need to be over his lap.  In that position I can always feel his body.  His muscular legs supporting me.  His hand on my back or holding my hands out of the way.  It is comforting and beyond that I really can't say why.

I stood beside him until I heard, "drop your jeans and panties."  It only took a second to lower them just a few inches below the sit spot.  He tapped the paddle on his thigh.  It was time to take the spanking that had been promised all week.

With my chest supported on one leg and hips on the other, he began to talk.  He said those words he says every spanking.  Which words he uses tells me how bad it is going to bed.  Just the position he placed me in, told me it was going to be a bad one.

The warm up swats fell on tender skin.  My bottom hasn't completely healed from the last two spankings.  It is still colorful in places.  They weren't the gentile swats of a sexy spanking warm up.  Oh no.  These were serious swats to be start a session with.  My skin warmed.  I can only imagine how the pink slowly turned to red.  The tempo increases ass did the force.  My body tried to twist away from the paddle.  His arm tightened across my back.  It was a struggle to say quiet.

Wait a minute.  Why was I trying to stay quiet?  No one else is here!  But still I fought it.  The longer he spanked, the more tender my backside felt.  Every swat was miserable but necessary.  Finally Dragon let me know that it was almost over.

"3 memory swats and we are done."  He always saves the worst for last.

5 more medium swats and then the hard ones hit home.  One on the right cheek.  My back arches. My hands and feel come off the floor.  That was the tender spot.  One across both cheeks.  Yep, that tender spot again.  And the last one on the left cheek.

I stood in front of him with my panties and jeans pushed down.   My secret places were just visible between my shirt tail and lowered panties.  He reached out and caressed me.  Somehow it was comforting after a hard spanking. Too much needed to be done still.  There aren't enough hours in a day and sadly our time was over.

I have a very sore bottom to help me remember those memory swats.  I hated getting them but I love how it makes me feel.  Loved!

Ps.  Dragon was thanked.  Several times for seeing to my needs before his.  Although he did say that he enjoyed the view.  I asked permission to rub lotion into my throbbing backside.  I am sorry to say that it didn't help at all.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Daddy always said

"This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you."

Have you heard that from your parents?  How about from your HOH?

Sometimes I wish Dragon would put the paddle behind his words.  But most of the time I am happy he doesn't.  Only for those things that really get under his skin does he blister my bottom.  He makes sure it is fair, that the punishment is truly deserved.  If there is any doubt in his mind, it doesn't happen.

I don't always agree with his reasoning.  If I disagree it is much harder for me to take the paddle.  Submissive thoughts are not going to happen and anger invades.  Yes, that is why the multi session punishments were discussed.  Neither one of us want that to happen again.  It was easier for him to administer but took almost all day for us to reconnect.

Then there are the punishments that I know I deserve and willing submit to.  I am nearly in tears before the spanking ever starts.  He goes light on the lecture because my heart is already broken.  It doesn't take much of a spanking for me to reach the acceptance stage he is looking for.  These are harder for him.  I don't cry before or during the spanking but after it is over, I am in his arms and my tears are falling.  He hates to think that he made me cry.

But you see?  That part about "in his arms"?  That is the reconnect.  The forgiveness and the release of the guilt.  Those are the punishments that lead to lovemaking and picnics in the park.  They are hard for him to give and make me an emotional mess.  But it is still a better way.  Because after it is over, it is really over.

But is it?  Does Dragon hold on to the guilt of causing those tears?  Is that why he punishes so very little?  Is that why he lets me get away with so much?  He knows I hate punishments and so does he.  They aren't supposed to be fun or easy.  Easy leads to abuse. Something we want to avoid for sure!

I wonder.

Are you an HOH?  Do you hold on to guilt after a particularly hard punishment?  Does it both you when you bring tears to your wife's eyes?

Wives, Does it bother your HOH?

I know I don't want that feeling to completely go away.  That would be very bad but maybe I can help make it better.


Friday, July 20, 2012

The Reluctant HOH

Did you know that Dragon didn't want TTWD when I first brought it up?  Nope, he wanted nothing to do with it.  He liked the shared responsibility.  He liked coming home and relaxing.  Besides this DD stuff is a passing fad of hers.  She will get over it in a few weeks.  What woman in her right mind would want to be punished?

He was even reluctant to spank me.   He wanted kink in our marriage bed but that didn't include spanking his wife.  It took months for me to finally talk him into erotic spanking.  Lots of talking and negotiating.  Really, I think he just got tired of me asking and finally gave in.

Dragon sat nervously on the bed.  I was just as nervous about it.  I dropped my pants and panties and placed myself across his lap.  It took a few tries to find a position that was comfortable to both of us but we managed.  Then the first blow fell.  It took my breath away.  Rapid fire a few more fell and my body started reacting in ways I had never imagined.  I had never thought that a spanking could be sexual but it was.  It confused me.

I don't remember how long that first spanking lasted.  It wasn't the best one ever.  We both had to learn.  From then on, Dragon started taking his wife in hand.  He did it in such small baby steps that I never even realized it.  He didn't punish in obvious ways but he had ways of letting me know he wasn't pleased.  A quick smack on the bottom or a glare.  He would give me a list of things he wanted done and I knew he expected it done.

We kept this up for years.  The occasional erotic spanking, tasks and me learning how to submit to him.  Every time I obeyed him, it built him up just a little more.  When he felt the power he really had over me, I think he liked it.  He walked a little taller and slowly became a true leader at home and at work.

After several years of this, I asked him for help with something that was clearly a problem. My MOUTH! I had picked up the nasty habit of cussing. The F bomb. I hate that word but it was a reflection of how I felt on the inside. I just couldn't keep it together. Finally I asked for help.

I gathered all my courage and again asked for him to discipline me physically. Not just in play but for real. The biggest shock for me was in his answer. He said YES! We laid down a few rules but he really wanted to focus on my mouth. And if I am honest, I will admit that I did too.
My loving, gentile husband took the cherry paddle and let me know just what he thought about my filthy mouth.  We called it a reminder or maybe a look at what I would get if I didn't clean it up.  It was hard, fast and to the point.  Not like a sexy, fun spanking at all.  My backside was warmed but strangely so was my heart.  We made love for the first time in a very long time.

It has been about 8 years since I brought up discipline for the very first time.  We have came so far since and neither one of us want to go back to the way things were. At times it has been an emotional roller coaster.  Those first few punishments.  Learning how to submit on my own.  Learning how to accept the reality of discipline vs my soft fluffy fantasy.    When I first asked for it, I didn't think our marriage could get any better.    I didn't think we could get any closer but we have.

ps, I must be crazy.  I know I have messed up in the last few weeks.  Broken rules, disobedience.  I can't list them all off.  Sometimes I don't even realize it until he points it out.   I have asked Dragon for a catch up spanking.  A punishment to cover all of those little infractions and broken rules.  He has a lot on his mind right now and so do I.  I understand that.  The lack of privacy is an issue too.  He has a policy of not delaying a punishment which I agree with.  But we really need to clear the air.  I am holding on to too much guilt and he is not walking as tall as he once did.  All of theses little things are like a wedge between us.

I know this won't be an easy spanking to take.  Dragon said he would rather do another fun spanking.  I planted the seed of punishment this morning.  I asked.  He is going to have all day to think about my poor attitude, disobedience and forgetfulness.  Do you really think he is still going to want a fun spanking?  I don't think so either.

What have I gotten myself into!  Yikes!

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Sex and Submission

I have read what others have written about sex and submission.  Mainly written by men.  Saying that the man penetrating the woman is the very act of dominance.  My mind immediately goes into the "what if" mode of denial.  But is it true or isn't it?

Last night we had my sister in laws wonderful tuna salad.  I had never had it made that way and it was absolutely divine, until the allergic reaction started.  Swollen throat, asthma attack and hives.  I was miserable. Albuterol, Benadryl, zertec and an emergency trip to the pharmacy for zantac.  (yes I spelled that right, zantac is a tummy medicine but it is also an antihistamine)

It took a while for my body to settle down with all these drugs swimming around my system.  I decided to turn in early.  I was miserable.  When Dragon came to bed I had an idea.  We made love when he first got back from work and planned to continue our activities latter.  Well it was latter and I needed a distraction from the itching.  I handed Dragon the hand of ginger with a smile on my face.  Lets just say that he was happy to provide as much of a distraction as I would allow.

An @$$ on fire with ginger will totally make you forget about hives.  Trust me.  It was a different kind of misery and a very welcome distraction.  In the aftermath of our love making, wrapped around each other, Dragon said I need to get that frisky more often!  And I started thinking.

The thinking continued this morning with more benadryl.  I still feel rotten from all that histamine that made me so sick last night but I feel something else too.  I am very much in a submissive head space.  How in the world did that happen?  He did spank me yesterday.  The lite fun kind.  My bottom was still sore from the last one so it was only a few well placed swats.  Not enough to soften even an already tender heart.

What did it?  What put me into that lovely submissive head space I do so enjoy?

There is only one other option.  Sex.  And yes.  Now I understand.  Sex is very much an act of dominance on the male side of things. "I see" said the blind submissive wife!  He is invading my body forcefully and repeatedly.  There is more to that sex smile of his than I thought.  It builds him up and tears down my walls.  It leaves me feeling sated and vulnerable.  Dragon left the house with an arrogant strut to his walk.   With all the stress we have had lately it was very nice to see.

I think I want another hand of ginger for a repeat performance! The ginger burns. It lights my @$ on fire but to see Dragon walk tall, I'll take the ginger every day of the week! And what happens after ginger? I did mention that it is an aphrodisiac didn't I? Always sex in one form or another.

For those who do not know how about figging here is a helpful link. Enjoy!


Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Dragon's Solution

Don't tell your HOH about an issue unless you REALLY want a solution!  When will I ever learn?

Yes, he put on his thinking cap.  He had a very long drive yesterday to think about it.  I am happy with his solution for now but probably won't be when he puts his words into action.

So....  What did he come up with to solve the mystery of the missing tears?

After one of my very first punishments, I got up angry.  I went into it angry and a session with the paddle made it even worse. It took me hours to see that I was in the wrong and apologize.  Dragon decided latter that anger was not an appropriate reaction from me.  Ever the problem solver, he came up with a solution.  After a short break to think thinks over, have round two with the paddle, complete with another lecture about my attitude.

I have yet to get up from another spanking angry but I am sure it will happen some time!

His solution to the missing tears is the same.  So now, instead of having round two for being angry, it will happen more often.  If he sees that I am still hanging on to the gilt or if my attitude is in anyway off, I go back over his knee.

After a punishment, I am either angry or emotionally fragile.   By that I mean that I am already close to tears.  Not from the pain of the spanking or the humiliation. Humiliation is more likely to make me angry than to bring tears.  It is the shame over my actions that puts the moisture in my eyes.  Dragon seems to think a second round or even a third will bring the cleansing tears I need.  And the tears he needs to see to know I have well and truly learned my lesson!

Why oh why did I ever say anything?  Punishments are already bad enough with just one round.  Yikes.  The good news is that most of the time, he stops after 6 to 10 swats.  He says that is enough to get the point across.  And for one session he is right.  But now he has decided that more than one session with the paddle is necessary to really get us both past the actions that got us there to begin with.

When I post about punishments, it usually something we have discussed.  Time out, non spanking punishments and tears have all been discusses before I ever made a post.  Some topics he brings up and others I do out of curiosity.  Here are a few things Dragon has added to the list of possibilities but hasn't put into practice yet.

1.  Toothpaste on the pink bits when we are away from home.  For those times that it just can't wait until we have the privacy for a spanking.

2.  Time out.  He already uses time out.  He sends me to my room and tells me to wait on him.  The new part is the formality.  Facing a wall or kneeling on the bed.  No books or computer to pass the time.

3. No begging to get out of a spanking.  It will always be harder if I try to get out of it.  I may appeal a punishment for good reason but it better be very good. (I love to beg and it has worked in the past)

4.  Jeans and panties pushed down are not good enough any more.  Ok for a minor infraction that only earns a few token swats it is ok.  But for anything major, total nudity.  Being totally exposed to him physically makes me more emotionally exposed too the punishment.

5.  Ginger can now also be used for punishment but that will be rare.  He says it is too much fun to ruin for just anything.  I can already feel my backside burn!

6.  Icy hot will not be used any more.  The scent triggers an asthma attack.  Nothing we use in DD will ever put either one of us in danger.

7.  Clips, clamps, dowel rods and switches can now be uses of we need quiet implements.

8.  And not to forget the newest addition to the list.  Multiple rounds with the paddle for a punishment.

You see?  Dragon has had his thinking cap on.  He warned me that he is about to get a lot more strict.  Apparently he has decided I need it right now.  However, he reminds me every day that I do have my safe words if things get too be too much.

I am sure I am leaving something out.  There are a few new rules too that have slipped my mind.  Now that is troubling.  How can I avoid breaking a rule if I can't remember what it is?  Yikes!  This list of changes has come over several months.  It definitely did not happen over night.

And yes, toothpaste on the pink bits is very effective.  He has used that recently.  It doesn't get the same reaction from me as a spanking but solves an immediate issue until we have more privacy.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Spanked to Tears?

(yes, I know, second post in one day) and another phrase that commonly leads to my blog.

I need the tears so very much.  I need to feel the fall.  I need the release that only tears can give.

I am very happy that Dragon doesn't think he has to spank me to tears every time.  It has NEVER happened.  My eyes have gotten a little moist but never a cleansing cry.  I cried once after a punishment.  Not a tear shed during.  He tried to do it once and it ended in disaster.  He took me right to the edge of endurance and just a shade too far on the other side of what I could take.

I don't think pain can make me cry.  I have chronic pain.  Hurting every day kinda takes the tears out of pain.  Even when I am rating my pain at 8 or 9 I still don't cry.  Dragon knows when it gets that bad because I get very still and quiet.  I withdraw from the world to deal with this overwhelming sensation.

But back to my question.  How or maybe Why do you cry during a spanking?  I have seen women cry during a fun, sexy kind of spanking.  Some cry during a maintenance and most women that blog cry during a punishment.  I read posts where the men say a spanking isn't a spanking unless that are 20-100 good swats.  That he must steel himself to continue until the HOH has reached that number.  Doesn't matter how her backside looks or her level of distress.  Yep.  I am very happy Dragon isn't one of those!  Dragon spanks until he feels my body accept the swats.  It isn't relaxation.  It is something else he feels in me that tells him the task is done.  Not tears.

is it corner time?  the lecture?  shame?  humiliation?  Help me out here.  Over 2 years of TTWD and I still have dry eyes.

I want to cry.  I need to cry as the paddle falls and I don't know why I can't.

Oh well.  No point in wanting it  now.  The paddle is too loud.  Since we aren't in our own home we have to be very careful.  I have a small hand of ginger to de-stress with tonight and Dragon is going to stop by and get some icy hot cream.  I think I may take a stroll and see what kind of switch I can find too.  It has been 30 years since I have felt a switch.  From what i remember, they are deadly quiet and pack a wicked sting.


Last night we received some news that set us both back on our heels.  One of those OH $##% moments and what are we going to do now?  Dragon was over his head.  I sat down and went into that quiet place where problems are solved.  I prayed a very panicked prayer and worked on calming down.

I did manage to calm down after a few minutes and discovered that it wasn't as bad as all that.  We will make it.  It won't be easy.  We may not come out of this with our stellar credit rating but with Gods help, we will find a way.  Dragon redid the numbers.  They are still bad but not as bad as we thought.  The pennies were counted and recounted.  Yep.  We are drastically short.  But we have each other.  That is what matters.

After the number crunching, we went for a power walk.  We talked some more and went over more numbers.  It is going to take time to get back on our feet.  That is reality.  We knew it before he ever retired. This was never going to be easy.  We came back to the house much more relaxed.

Until bed time....

Dragon's head hit the pillow and he immediately began to snore.  As soon as I closed my eyes all the worst case issues started playing out in my head.  Homeless, jobless, hopeless.  My heart rate spiked.  My body was shaking.  Miserable.

I turned to Dragon for comfort.

Yes, he was sleeping but there are some things that come natural to man.  I took off my pj bottoms and moved his hand to cup my sex.  No idea why that is so comforting but sometimes it is.  No sexual fondling.  Just holding.

I finally fell asleep with his hand cupping that most private place.  I even had good dreams.

I know the money stuff will work out.  God never promised things would be easy.  His promised that he wold never leave me and he never will.  Prayer and the comfort of my Dragons strength.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Romantic Spanking

A new blogger posted about search engine words that lead to his blog.  I look at them occasionally and usually get a good laugh.  The book "50 Shades" still tops the list of google hits.  That post should be ancient history by now but for some reason it is still popular.

Romantic spanking is another recent search on the list.  I had to sit back and think on this one for a few minutes.  Is spanking romantic?  Can it be?  Hmmmm.  I haven't really thought about it before.

A punishment is never romantic.  I know a rule has been broken.  It was bad enough that Dragon has decided punishment is needed to make sure it never happens again.  I'm not sure which is worse.  The anticipation of the pain, knowing I disappointed him or the humiliation of being there to begin with.   Fear, nervous, disappointed, humiliated and sometimes angry.  Not emotions I would associate with romance.

Punishment allows us to clear the air and leads to a more romantic marriage.  I'll admit that.  It takes what could be a serious breach in our relationship and end to it.  A punishment is not something either one of us want to repeat.  The humiliation, shame and tears are hard on both of us.  If the emotions aren't enough of a deterrent, the pain on my backside is more than enough!  Dragon gets to the point fast and makes every swat count.  By the end of it I am begging for the spanking to end.

Sometimes the after effects can be romantic.  When I curl up in his lap with his arms around me.  The tears that I have held back fall and he kisses them away.  More often than not, we usually end up making love.  The soft, gentile love making that takes my breath away.  For weeks after a punishment we can't get enough of each other.  Our entire relationship takes on different dynamic in the afterglow.

Are other types of spanking romantic?

Now that is a harder question to answer.  Maintenance, stress relief, reconciliation and pleasure spanking are all very closely related.  They feel the same to me because they don't have the strong emotion associated with them.  Sometimes my backside is bruised.  Sometimes I only get a warm shade of pink and a little sting. I depends on what we both need that day.  What I need out of the spanking is just as important as his needs.  Lovemaking can be a part of these spankings but not always.  Lovemaking does not always end in sex.

Romantic?  I'll say that it can be but isn't always.  It depends on where we both are emotionally and physically.  I guess it really depends on how you define romance.  Although my last spanking was connected with a scene that I called "mind blowing" it wasn't really romantic.  Not in my mind anyway.

What are your thoughts on the topic?  I would love to hear from my readers!  Is spanking romantic for you? If so, how?

Saturday, July 14, 2012

The Welcome Home Scene

Ok....  So we don't have our very own home yet but the house was empty.  Everyone else left the state to visit family.

Dragon had to work.  Only for a few hours but money is money.  He called and gave me instructions.  "Shower, shave and be ready to play.  I am going to blow your mind."

I had no clean clothes.  No clean panties.  Nothing.  Laundry had to come first and the washer and dryer I am using are very slow.  It took three cycles to dry each load.  I didn't want to shower until I had clean panties at the very least.  That put the shower a later than it should have been.

When Dragon walked in the door, I was in the shower.  I shaved all the mandatory bits.  Until I knew they would pass inspection.  He pulled the curing to one side just as I was rinsing off the last bit of soap.  After our late night last night, he wanted a short nap.  While I finished in the shower, Dragon took his short nap.

I started to dress but remembered what Dragon said on the phone.  "Be ready to play."  I left my panties on the bed side table and the shirt unbuttoned.  As soon as he figured out I was ready for him, nap time was over.

I am not comfortable describing what happened next in vivid detail.  Step by step isn't going to happen.  Sorry.  I will tell you that I was fisted.  Both places and was very pleased the results.  So was Dragon when my squeals could not be silenced.

He reestablished his authority with a maintenance spanking.   I can't think of any other word for it.  Hard, fast and to the point.  Lots of reassurance and petting.  He talked about expectations, broken rules and let me know that he is HOH.

I was limp with sensation.  First the touching, kissing and then the fisting.   Followed by a hard spanking?  Yikes.  And he wasn't done.  Not yet!  He kept going and gave me another O.

That took all of my energy.  Bed time.  I just hope Dragon doesn't have an encore planned.  

Lovely Blog Award

I have not intentionally neglected blogger, I promise. Something about having an itty bitty keyboard and a microscopic screen.

Blush, two lovely ladies nominated me for the Lovely Blog Award. Emi over at Veiled Obsessions and Bratty Adaline on Discipline Needed. Thank you very much.

The One Lovely Blog Rules of Acceptance
 - Thank the person/people who nominated you and link back to them in your post
 - Share seven possibly unknown things about yourself
 - Nominate fifteen or so bloggers you admire
 - Contact the chosen bloggers to let them know and link back to them.

 7 things about me
 1. I am very shy. It takes me a while to warm up to new people
2. I wear my heart on my sleeve and get hurt easy.
3. I smile when I am uncomfortable. A smile on my face does not always mean I am happy.
4. Sewing is my favorite hobby. Gardening is my second.
5. I can't pick out a favorite flower. I love so many but the rose is very high on the list.
6. I sleep best in Dragons arms.
7. I like most dogs more than I like most people.

A few of my Favorite blogs...(so many of my favorite blogs are gone now)

Veiled Obsessions She started her blog before mentioning DD to her husband. I love watching her grow. She is a better wife and mother today.

 faerie learns to fly faerie tells it how it is.
 She is spunky and a little adventurous.

Finding Sara
Sara is full of wisdom. She has been in a DD relationship for a few years and has a lot of wisdom to share.

Florida Dom
A male perspective on all things kink. Not really a dd blog but he brings up topics I would never have thought about.

Her Mischief Managed Susie is a sweet heart. What more can I say about her? Her blog brightens my day. 

Husbandly Touch
Again, the male perspective. It is important to see the other side of the coin!

I'll be back to add more to the list. Got back in town late last night. My eyes tell me it is nap time. Yawn.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

almost done

The packers and truck drivers are gone. Now I am left with a filthy house to clean. This has been a night mare of a move. This part is nearly done. I will be back in Dragons arms soon! Just one more night!

Sunday, July 8, 2012


It is to quiet. I miss the chaos of family. I miss the kisses and hugs I miss the laughter and the arguments. You know what this feels like? A deployment The crushing ache in my chest is the same. No love making, no spanking. Blab! I want my Dragon back!

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Empty House (update!)

I am in an empty house today and Dragon is supposed to get off of work early today.  Can I say I am looking forward to it?  The bed is made, the laundry is washing and the house is almost clean.  We need to house hunt but how long can a spanking really take?  Just a nice fast stinging stress relief session.  With an empty house I don't even have to be quiet.

I hate it when the swats really hurt but if I am honest, that is what I really need right now.  Something I will feel for a few days.  Ten to fifteen good firm stinging eye watering swats.
Now here is the big question.  Will I be brave enough to ask Dragon to deliver the much needed paddling?

I'll let you know......

I just talked to Dragon.  He is on his way home.  I asked!  I did it!  Now lets see what happens.  I really need a spanking bench for those hard and fast ones.  It is so hard to stay still and not beg for it to stop.

Update! ! !

After getting lost in a city he hasn't navigated for 20 years, he finally made it home.  My SIL's house anyway.  We talked for a bit and looked for a house on craigs list.  No luck BTW.  Sigh....  We plotted our rout to look at the houses we found.  Only one of them was a possibility.  No grass in the yard, no A/C and a rickety porch but the price is right.

Then Dragon discovered the paddles I had set out.  He took the hint!  Happy face!  The bed we are currently using is very tall.  He stood me up and and told me to strip.  I was very happy to do so!  He took my clothes and neatly folded them.  The good thing about this bed?  It is the perfect height for spanking!  My chest on the bed and feet dangling.   What a fun position!

He whispered his love in my ear and the swats began to fall.  One after the other.  Slowly building in intensity but not very hard.  My sweet man didn't want me flying with a sore bottom.  He thought a 5 hour flight with a sore posterior would be too much to handle.  Why does he have to be right?  I need marks!  I need a very sore backside!  Something I can feel for a few days!

Oh well.  We found a private moment this week.  We will find another private moment when I get back from my trip.  Maybe them I can get some relief from the stress.  It is strange getting spanked in a house that is not my own though.  I kept thinking that someone would discover our kinky activities.  I didn't want to explain that one to my SIL!

I miss my kids so very much.  Did you know this is only the second time I have ever been away from them?  I keep telling myself, it is only for two weeks.  Just two weeks.  I can do this.  Fly back to the North West, get my business done up there and come back.  The faster I get this done the sooner I can see my kids!  Every time I talk to the kids, one of them is crying.  They miss me as much as I miss them.

Prayer list
*safe flight
*smooth packout
*kids comfort
*Dragon healing (his ptsd is very bad right now)
*for the house up north to sell fast!
*to find a house down south soon!

Yes I know.  It is a long list.  Any prayers are greatly appreciated!  

Monday, July 2, 2012

July 1 1990

My tears fell that day.  My daddy passed away during the night and no one thought to tell me.  They wanted to wait until morning.  No one told me he had lapsed into a coma.  I had no idea.

My mom showed up before I was even out of bed.  I worked late into the night and was not ready to start my day.  She told me that my step mom had called her.  I blew her off.  She told me daddy was gone.  I blew her off again.

Nope.  Daddy isn't gone.  He is going to go into remission one more time.  He said so.

My mind couldn't accept that he was gone.  That he died in a hospital bed with me in a different state.

Then the mother of all family drama followed.  The nastiness that I have learned to expect from my family.  I was caught in the middle.  And my tears fell even harder.

I spent the first and second of July on the phone trying to figure out the funeral plans.  No one would tell me.  I had to track his body from the hospital morgue to the transport company, an airport, another transport company and finally to the funeral home.  I could tell that the funeral director had been told not to give me any information but his self respect got in the way.  He couldn't see keeping an 18 year old girl away from her fathers funeral.  I found out when and where.

My mother made arrangements to go with me.  All the while my step father threatened to report me as a runaway and a car thief.  Such a lovely family I have.

On the morning of the third, me and mom set out for on the long drive to go to the funeral.  Stocked up with bags of chips, a cooler full of soda, sandwich fixin's and coffee.  We took turns driving.

On the forth, I said good bye.  The man in the coffin didn't look like my strong daddy.  Bald as an egg, pale and swollen from the steroids and chemo therapy.  I sat in the very back of the chapel.  At the cemetery I stood beside a tree away from everyone else as I struggle to stay composed.  Ladies do not cry in public.  Nope.  Not ever.  A lady always shows a composed face no matter how feels inside.

It has been a long time and I still miss him.  Thinking about him still brings tears to my eyes.

Daddy, I love you.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Back in the Dark Ages

Back in time before DD, I stumbled across a page called Christian Domestic Discipline.  How I found this page, I have no idea.  The more I read, the more curious I became.  Could I really submit to Dragon?  I have seen ladies at church give it lip service but no one that really did it.  Could I undress for a punishment and actually stay in place while Dragon spanks me to tears?

Accountability?  Interesting!  
After several weeks of careful reading, I broached the subject with Dragon.   He didn't want to take more responsibility.  No way.  He liked our care free ways.  We didn't really fight.  I wasn't a spoiled brat of a wife.  What good would it do?  We are in a good place already.  Right?  

We were but it could get better.  I knew it even if Dragon didn't.  He thought it was all silliness.  So why do wives have such a hard time mentioning this?  Hmmm.......  But he decided that he would give it a try.  Not punishment but erotic spanking.

We had to take baby steps.  We both needed the baby steps!  First a very mild erotic spanking, then one a little harder and finally one that left marks.  Then we moved on from just a hand spanking to paddles and finally to floggers.

We both received a great deal of pleasure from our adventures into erotic spanking.  Eventually, I got brave enough to ask for DD again.  Still, he didn't want to take on the responsibility but I had a habit he hated!  I had picked up the F bomb, a word I hated but used too frequently!  Silly or not, he decided to give me a taste of DD and break that bad habit.

The first spanking was awkward and really didn't do anything.  So mild it was a joke but we both learned from it.  The next time he stepped up and delivered a punishment it wasn't a joke at all.  I think this is when he really started seeing DD as something other than a silly female fantasy.

Soon after that first real punishment he started adding to the list of rules.  He was taking things to a new level.  I was ready but afraid.  Not of him but whether or not I could handle this new Dragon that was emerging.

Yes, I wish he would be more consistent.  That he wouldn't let me talk my way out of a punishment.  I wish for a stricter household and more accountability.  It is coming.  In Dragons own sweet time.  He is a very methodical person.  One step at a time.  Test it out, see how it works and only then take the next step.  He is getting stricter over time but so slowly that I almost don't notice.  That is a good thing.  It is easier to take things slowly.

The hardest part for me is the uncertainty.  When I know a rule has been broken, is he going to punish me or not?  Should I be worried or is this something I can do again?  Hmmmm.  Dragon is not an all or nothing kind of person.  I'll have to learn how to accept that and take DD his way.  Still, I long for accountability.

A silly fantasy of his wife to reality.  What a journey it has been.  We are still growing and still learning. Both of us.  He is learning to step up and taking that responsibility one baby step at a time.  At the same time, I am learning how to submit to him.  Baby steps.

ps.  SIL will leave for church soon and the house will be empty.  Just us.   Hmmm.  Send the kids outside and I think I can talk Dragon into using that paddle I packed in my bag.  Yep.  I am going to ask!