Don't tell your HOH about an issue unless you REALLY want a solution! When will I ever learn?
Yes, he put on his thinking cap. He had a very long drive yesterday to think about it. I am happy with his solution for now but probably won't be when he puts his words into action.
So.... What did he come up with to solve the mystery of the missing tears?
After one of my very first punishments, I got up angry. I went into it angry and a session with the paddle made it even worse. It took me hours to see that I was in the wrong and apologize. Dragon decided latter that anger was not an appropriate reaction from me. Ever the problem solver, he came up with a solution. After a short break to think thinks over, have round two with the paddle, complete with another lecture about my attitude.
I have yet to get up from another spanking angry but I am sure it will happen some time!
His solution to the missing tears is the same. So now, instead of having round two for being angry, it will happen more often. If he sees that I am still hanging on to the gilt or if my attitude is in anyway off, I go back over his knee.
After a punishment, I am either angry or emotionally fragile. By that I mean that I am already close to tears. Not from the pain of the spanking or the humiliation. Humiliation is more likely to make me angry than to bring tears. It is the shame over my actions that puts the moisture in my eyes. Dragon seems to think a second round or even a third will bring the cleansing tears I need. And the tears he needs to see to know I have well and truly learned my lesson!
Why oh why did I ever say anything? Punishments are already bad enough with just one round. Yikes. The good news is that most of the time, he stops after 6 to 10 swats. He says that is enough to get the point across. And for one session he is right. But now he has decided that more than one session with the paddle is necessary to really get us both past the actions that got us there to begin with.
When I post about punishments, it usually something we have discussed. Time out, non spanking punishments and tears have all been discusses before I ever made a post. Some topics he brings up and others I do out of curiosity. Here are a few things Dragon has added to the list of possibilities but hasn't put into practice yet.
1. Toothpaste on the pink bits when we are away from home. For those times that it just can't wait until we have the privacy for a spanking.
2. Time out. He already uses time out. He sends me to my room and tells me to wait on him. The new part is the formality. Facing a wall or kneeling on the bed. No books or computer to pass the time.
3. No begging to get out of a spanking. It will always be harder if I try to get out of it. I may appeal a punishment for good reason but it better be very good. (I love to beg and it has worked in the past)
4. Jeans and panties pushed down are not good enough any more. Ok for a minor infraction that only earns a few token swats it is ok. But for anything major, total nudity. Being totally exposed to him physically makes me more emotionally exposed too the punishment.
5. Ginger can now also be used for punishment but that will be rare. He says it is too much fun to ruin for just anything. I can already feel my backside burn!
6. Icy hot will not be used any more. The scent triggers an asthma attack. Nothing we use in DD will ever put either one of us in danger.
7. Clips, clamps, dowel rods and switches can now be uses of we need quiet implements.
8. And not to forget the newest addition to the list. Multiple rounds with the paddle for a punishment.
You see? Dragon has had his thinking cap on. He warned me that he is about to get a lot more strict. Apparently he has decided I need it right now. However, he reminds me every day that I do have my safe words if things get too be too much.
I am sure I am leaving something out. There are a few new rules too that have slipped my mind. Now that is troubling. How can I avoid breaking a rule if I can't remember what it is? Yikes! This list of changes has come over several months. It definitely did not happen over night.
ps
And yes, toothpaste on the pink bits is very effective. He has used that recently. It doesn't get the same reaction from me as a spanking but solves an immediate issue until we have more privacy.
He’s quite the solution maker. OK, that's part of his job as HoH but I can understand why you call him Dragon.
ReplyDeleteIt’s an impressive list. I feel like crying just reading that list.
I love Asian Dragons. I see them a wise protectors. And that is what my Dragon is to me. A wise protector. He won't got to fast or be too hard on me. Most people who practice DD don't have safe words. I do. For my safety and his.
DeleteI hope you remember the other items. It could be detrimental to your butt if you don't.
ReplyDeleteTell me about it! Instead of 6-10 swats, it may be 30 or more. Dragon makes those punishment swats count too. No little love taps. Yikes
DeleteYikes! If this was DH I would try to distract him to avoid him getting all these solutions. For some reason, nipple clamps just freak me out, as do dowel rods. ouch!
ReplyDeleteThis is a good thing. I hope. The move, career change and all the stress that goes with it, has thrown us both for a loop. This is his way of getting things back on track. Every time he has changes something major with DD, our relationship improves. I can only hope for the best. But I really do need to figure out what those forgotten rules are.
Deleteah. Just remembered one. No panties in bed. That rule does not apply until we get a house.
Yes, I have been punished for having panties on when he wakes up. But not while we are still house hunting.
DeleteNo panties in bed is such a sweet rule. I am quite interested in dowel rods but not at all in nipple clamps. I had never heard of the toothpaste on pink bits! (Not sure I want to explore that one-- yipes!) And I'm glad you have a safe word, not that I'm worried about you, just so you feel so very safe. :)
ReplyDeleteThe rod is quiet and doesn't take a lot of force. Toothpaste burns those little private bits but is short lived. It can also be wiped away for almost instant relief.
ReplyDeleteI know that most dd coupled don't have safe words but I couldn't do this without them. :)
My rose I watch and am learning myself; You will always have safe words unless you abuse them, but that don't mean you will be out of trouble, it just means we will stop and find out why and adjust as needed.
ReplyDeleteOh and you forgot that your hands will be tided if you try to protect your lovely red backside! Love you
Just remembered another rule that is already a habit. Make the bed every morning.
ReplyDeleteMy reward last night was delicious. Figging and then taken there. I rocked his world. Very satisfying evening indeed.