"This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you."
Have you heard that from your parents? How about from your HOH?
Sometimes I wish Dragon would put the paddle behind his words. But most of the time I am happy he doesn't. Only for those things that really get under his skin does he blister my bottom. He makes sure it is fair, that the punishment is truly deserved. If there is any doubt in his mind, it doesn't happen.
I don't always agree with his reasoning. If I disagree it is much harder for me to take the paddle. Submissive thoughts are not going to happen and anger invades. Yes, that is why the multi session punishments were discussed. Neither one of us want that to happen again. It was easier for him to administer but took almost all day for us to reconnect.
Then there are the punishments that I know I deserve and willing submit to. I am nearly in tears before the spanking ever starts. He goes light on the lecture because my heart is already broken. It doesn't take much of a spanking for me to reach the acceptance stage he is looking for. These are harder for him. I don't cry before or during the spanking but after it is over, I am in his arms and my tears are falling. He hates to think that he made me cry.
But you see? That part about "in his arms"? That is the reconnect. The forgiveness and the release of the guilt. Those are the punishments that lead to lovemaking and picnics in the park. They are hard for him to give and make me an emotional mess. But it is still a better way. Because after it is over, it is really over.
But is it? Does Dragon hold on to the guilt of causing those tears? Is that why he punishes so very little? Is that why he lets me get away with so much? He knows I hate punishments and so does he. They aren't supposed to be fun or easy. Easy leads to abuse. Something we want to avoid for sure!
I wonder.
Are you an HOH? Do you hold on to guilt after a particularly hard punishment? Does it both you when you bring tears to your wife's eyes?
Wives, Does it bother your HOH?
I know I don't want that feeling to completely go away. That would be very bad but maybe I can help make it better.
Maybe?
I'll ask Daddy to stop by later to give his view, Dragon's Rose.
ReplyDeleteAs for me, I do think it bothers him. But he has said that this is who we are and how we handle things, and while he doesn't want to do it, if it is what I need then he will give it to me.
I think it goes back to "boys don't hit girls" thing little boys learn growing up. And he is very protective of me.
DeleteWe have had one punishment, and I know we both felt like we were done with guilt after. But, at the same time, DH is building up to spanking harder, and hasn't done it to his full potential yet. As of right now I wish he would, but I know that is silly, because I know he is going to get there eventually, and I will be sorry.
ReplyDeletewould you believe I only get 6-10 firm swats in a session? It has been adequate for most punishments. There was only one time I needed more. A second session after my heart softened would have done wonders. Hind sight?
DeleteBe happy he is going easy! Believe me when you really deserve it you will feel his full potential.
Spanking is the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life.
ReplyDeleteJust the fact that she presents her bottom is enough punishment in my opinion. But then I have to continue. And she hurts.
Yes that hurts me even more.
Thank you for the HOH point of view. What can I do to make it easier for Dragon? I thank him almost every time and go to him for comfort. Anything else come to mind?
DeleteI really don't know. It cannot be made easier. The thanking is important. The HoH must be convinced that the woman agrees to the things that are happening. It must not be his one man show. So you're doing what is necessary.
DeleteThank you Bas. I'll be sure to thank him every time and not just for punishment.
DeleteDragon had no problem warming my backside today! My butt hurts. :) It was too hard to be a fun spanking but had a warm up so it wasn't a punishment. Stress relief maybe? I think so.
ReplyDeleteHello there,
ReplyDeleteDiscipline isn't easy, but that doesen't mean that it's hard either... lol I'm sure that doesen't make much sense, but I truley love and care for my June, and I won't hesitate to give her what she needs. I love her enough to correct her if she needs it. That said, it does hurt me when it comes to that.
Ward, thank you for stopping by! And believe it or not, it does make a lot of sense. I love to hear the male point of view. It makes TTWD easier to accept.
Delete