"This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you."
Have you heard that from your parents? How about from your HOH?
Sometimes I wish Dragon would put the paddle behind his words. But most of the time I am happy he doesn't. Only for those things that really get under his skin does he blister my bottom. He makes sure it is fair, that the punishment is truly deserved. If there is any doubt in his mind, it doesn't happen.
I don't always agree with his reasoning. If I disagree it is much harder for me to take the paddle. Submissive thoughts are not going to happen and anger invades. Yes, that is why the multi session punishments were discussed. Neither one of us want that to happen again. It was easier for him to administer but took almost all day for us to reconnect.
Then there are the punishments that I know I deserve and willing submit to. I am nearly in tears before the spanking ever starts. He goes light on the lecture because my heart is already broken. It doesn't take much of a spanking for me to reach the acceptance stage he is looking for. These are harder for him. I don't cry before or during the spanking but after it is over, I am in his arms and my tears are falling. He hates to think that he made me cry.
But you see? That part about "in his arms"? That is the reconnect. The forgiveness and the release of the guilt. Those are the punishments that lead to lovemaking and picnics in the park. They are hard for him to give and make me an emotional mess. But it is still a better way. Because after it is over, it is really over.
But is it? Does Dragon hold on to the guilt of causing those tears? Is that why he punishes so very little? Is that why he lets me get away with so much? He knows I hate punishments and so does he. They aren't supposed to be fun or easy. Easy leads to abuse. Something we want to avoid for sure!
Are you an HOH? Do you hold on to guilt after a particularly hard punishment? Does it both you when you bring tears to your wife's eyes?
Wives, Does it bother your HOH?
I know I don't want that feeling to completely go away. That would be very bad but maybe I can help make it better.