After several weeks of careful reading, I broached the subject with Dragon. He didn't want to take more responsibility. No way. He liked our care free ways. We didn't really fight. I wasn't a spoiled brat of a wife. What good would it do? We are in a good place already. Right?
We had to take baby steps. We both needed the baby steps! First a very mild erotic spanking, then one a little harder and finally one that left marks. Then we moved on from just a hand spanking to paddles and finally to floggers.
We both received a great deal of pleasure from our adventures into erotic spanking. Eventually, I got brave enough to ask for DD again. Still, he didn't want to take on the responsibility but I had a habit he hated! I had picked up the F bomb, a word I hated but used too frequently! Silly or not, he decided to give me a taste of DD and break that bad habit.
The first spanking was awkward and really didn't do anything. So mild it was a joke but we both learned from it. The next time he stepped up and delivered a punishment it wasn't a joke at all. I think this is when he really started seeing DD as something other than a silly female fantasy.
Soon after that first real punishment he started adding to the list of rules. He was taking things to a new level. I was ready but afraid. Not of him but whether or not I could handle this new Dragon that was emerging.
Yes, I wish he would be more consistent. That he wouldn't let me talk my way out of a punishment. I wish for a stricter household and more accountability. It is coming. In Dragons own sweet time. He is a very methodical person. One step at a time. Test it out, see how it works and only then take the next step. He is getting stricter over time but so slowly that I almost don't notice. That is a good thing. It is easier to take things slowly.
The hardest part for me is the uncertainty. When I know a rule has been broken, is he going to punish me or not? Should I be worried or is this something I can do again? Hmmmm. Dragon is not an all or nothing kind of person. I'll have to learn how to accept that and take DD his way. Still, I long for accountability.
A silly fantasy of his wife to reality. What a journey it has been. We are still growing and still learning. Both of us. He is learning to step up and taking that responsibility one baby step at a time. At the same time, I am learning how to submit to him. Baby steps.
ps. SIL will leave for church soon and the house will be empty. Just us. Hmmm. Send the kids outside and I think I can talk Dragon into using that paddle I packed in my bag. Yep. I am going to ask!