Saturday, February 28, 2015

Bed Time

Last night we got home at almost midnight.  The first thing Dragon noticed was an empty dog crate.  The crate belongs to a rescue pup that refuses to house train.

Ut oh is right.

The search was on.  Where did he puddles? Just when I thought he was a good boy I discovered that he was VERY bad.

I sat down on my bed.

Yes, I did.

I found it.

He left a lake on my bed and I sat in it. Ice cold, stinking mess right on my @$$.


What a mess.

We cleaned up the flood of urine the best we could.  Baking soda rocks! And discovered that we didn't have another queen sheet. That was a twin and nothing we did was going to make it fit.

We rotated the mistress to put the mess at Dragon's feet, put a stack of bath towels over it and used a twin flat sheet for the night.



Now I have a new mattress, bedding and pillows. I am going to be sleeping in a strange bed tonight.

The old mattress was a the cheapest you can buy and after 3 years of use, it was dead anyway.  My once beautiful white quilt was stained and the pillows were flat.

It was past time for new.

I am so excited.

Sheets are out of the dryer and the new quit is in the dryer and the fuzzy blanket is in the wash.

Everything has to be washed before use.  The hazards of living with asthma.

I wish I could say that we are going to give the springs a workout but after getting no sleep last night and mattress shopping today, we are exhausted.

Sleep is the only thing we have in mind for tonight.
I am looking forward to some good sleep. Love making will come when we are both rested.

Happy birthday Dragon!  He is now 42!

A new bed was an unexpected gift but we had to have it.  That dog made sure our pitiful excuse of a bed was ruined.

Nasty Gram

Hmmmm the mystery.

The nasty gram blogger put in my blog is gone.  It is no more.

It isn't listed in terms and services.  It is just gone.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015


Cold weather is back.  Our little Indian summer is over.  Can you believe it was 80* one day last week and freezing cold this week?  Okay.  40 isn't freezing but after last week, it sure feels like it.

Dragon worked on my car for a little while Sunday.  The cold front hit Saturday afternoon.  It was a bit nippy but not bad inside the garage.  I didn't want to drop my jeans.  Shivers! But that didn't save my backside.

My first spanking of the year was short, fast and stingy.  By the time he was done, my bottom was burning good.  I wanted long with a slow build-up but we were both ready for the heated house.

It wasn't a punishment. It wasn't long enough to be a tune up.  Since his hands were covered in grease from working on the car, there was no petting. Not what I would call an erotic spanking either.

I'll tell you what it was.  Sexy as all get out.  Sometimes fast and hard hits the spot better than anything else.  Sure surprised me. We made love after dinner.

I love how ttwd brings us back together.  Even talking about it, writing about it sends tingles to my lady parts.

I have chores to get done and an Elizabethan corset to make.  I have to work before I can play in the sewing room.  I am reading Sunny's book "Star Crossed Cowboy".  So far I am impressed. She has really grown as a writer. I'll review the book when I have finished reading it.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

No no no

It was another no go.

My pain levels spiked into the stratosphere.  I couldn't even tolerate his touch and touch is my love language.

We did manage some hot monkey sex before the pain hit but no spanking.  I was looking forward to it so much.

We will have to see what time he gets off work today. I am feeling much better.  No walking stick today!  Sundays are usually too busy. Monday may be a possibility.  I am not giving up.

The land didn't work out. We got our earnest money back but we are out $700 for the survey.  Oh well.  It wasn't ment to be.  It isn't the first time we have lost money on a real estate deal.  Try $20,000 and no, we aren't rich.  That loss still makes me cringe. That much much money is an almost new car or LOTS of lumber to build the house.  $$$$  To some people, it may not seem like much.  To us, it was another broken dream.

We looked at 4 plots of land yesterday and struck out.  We have two more to look at.  Land in our area is going fast!

I feel like the little engine that could.

I think I can
I think I can
I think I can
I thought I could
I thought I could
I thought I could

Hope you have a wonderful Valentine's day!

I hear 50 Shades is a B movie at best.
What do you think?

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Be Brave

For many reasons, Dragon is very careful with DD.  He usually asks if I need a punishment.  The answer should be yes every time but I am not that strong.

I have a shameful secret.  I am afraid of punishment.  Not the healthy kind of dread.  Oh no.  I am talking about the all consuming terror that overcomes the trust I have for my Dragon.  I flinch when someone cusses within my hearing.  I turn into a shaking, weeping mess if I hear a voice raised in anger.

Do you see why Dragon calls me his China doll?  His delicate rose?

I can be strong when needed but this pushes my panic button.

Sometimes, if I know a punishment is coming, I can get my head right.  I need a quiet place so that I can hear that voice of reason.  It has been a while since I have had a conversation with that very quiet side of my head.  Terror likes to scream and drown out that shy whisper of reason.

4 times this year, Dragon said a punishment was coming.  4 times fear has stopped him cold. Pushing when I am that panicked would be a disaster.

It is time for me to hear the whisper.  I am listening.

It is to late for a punishment.  That has to happen fast.  However, the timing for a tune up is perfect.

I am going to hand him the paddle.  When he asks for a number. I am going to give him something reasonable. 3 or 4 is ridiculous.  30 will get the job done right. With that number, Dragon will know that I am ready.

Why TTWD?  Yes, it is hard but it is also healing.  I learn trust and surrender.  I learn that I can submit to him without losing myself. I learn that I don't have to be afraid of him.  Not ever.

These are lessons I have to learn over and over again.  I envy those who find spanking, sex and kink easy.  For me it is hard.  Sometimes I can't even undress with him in the room.

When it is good, it gets there because I have pushed myself.  It is because I sat still long enough to hear the whisper of reason.

I am listening.  Can you tell?

How far will it go this time?  Only time will tell.

Ps. At my best, I am scening with Dragon at a party.  I feel that secure with Dragon, my body and my environment.  DD and D/s are hard for me but the rewards of self-confidence and self-esteem are worth it.  The deep connection I have with my Dragon is even better.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

50 Shades of ????

What will you be doing this Valentine's day?  Will you be watching the much awaited 50 Shades movie?  I think people love to hate it.  Conservative Christians of all flavors say it damages marriages.  They equate it to pornography.  The kink community says that it damages their reputation because Mr. Grey is damaged goods. Others call it domestic violence.  Almost everyone that reads complains that the book is poorly written.

Did I miss anything?

One thing that we cannot deny is that women are taking.  Women who wouldn't even think about kink are taking about it.  I love it.  Spanking, bondage, safe words.  The difference between a D/s relationship and domestic violence.  They are taking to each other and their husbands.  They are getting brave and trying new things.

How can this be negative?

I am going to call this one a miss in the theater. However, when it is released on video all bets are off.  How far will we get before we are off to have our own spanking fun?  Can't do that in a theater.  Giggles

We will spend Valentine's day at home.  A candle light dinner with the kidlets. Then a family appropriate Netflix movie.  I don't find crowded restaurants and theaters romantic.  I rather wait for a pretty day and have a picnic in the country.  I rather go to a matinee when the theater is empty.  So many things I rather do than fight crazy crowds.

What will you be doing on the ever so romantic day?  Do you have fun plans?

What ever you do, have a little fun.  Come back and let me know what you did!  I would love to hear from you!

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Why is DD so hard for us?

DD is an off and on thing for us.  Mostly off.  That's okay.  It is what we need it to be.  If I go ana, Dragon is ready.  He has a few rules that won't be broken.  100% of the time he enforces these rules.  I don't break these rules and he has no reason to get out the paddle.

We just don't have the time to dedicate to DD.  Dragon works long hours.  When he gets home he doesn't want to deal with micromanaging my day. He wants to sit back and relax before bed.  Cuddles on the couch is more important than the paddle.

Privacy is another issue.  We live in a small house with three teenagers.  They are everywhere.  The garage doesn't even guarantee privacy. The paddle is loud. If we use a silent implement, I can't be quiet.

Last but not least is my own level of submission.  If Dragon got strict it would crush me.  I want to please him so much that a hard look breaks my heart.  Dragon hates that broken look in my eyes and he will do anything to avoid it.

DD looks different for every couple that lives the lifestyle.  That's okay.  Your marriage is going to be different than mine.  DD is going to be just as different.  Goals, likes, wants and circumstances are different.