Saturday, November 30, 2013


Things see to be going so good.   We are making bills plus some.  Dragon's job is still iffy but we will worry about that when it happens.   The kids are getting a very good Christmas.  

Life is good.


Then I learn that my baby girl,  my oldest daughter had a miscarriage.  

I feel like I am on a roller coaster.  

The football game today did make me smile and do a happy dance.  But made the loopty loops on my roller coaster day nauseating.  

You see, in the south,  football is King.   In the grand state of Alabama (my home state)  you are either for Alabama or Auburn the under dog.   Most of my family cheers for Alabama.  As a small child, I thought the whole thing was stupid.  So...  I did what any defiant child would do.   I chose the other team.  

Alabama wins more games but I am loyal.   Every year,  I cheer for Auburn.   This year they weren't ranked.   Not even on the charts.   They played hard and only lost one game all season. AlAlabama was unbeatable.   ZERO losses.  Until today.


WE WON!!!!

Auburn now holds the #1 spot

I am currently in a series of loops on this roller coaster of mine.   Dinner is ready but I can't eat.   Best pot of chili I have ever made and all I want to do is cry.

Yep.   Feelin just a little emotional tonight.  

Tomorrow, I will be the mom in tears.  My two youngest kids will be baptized.  


I don't know how I am supposed to feel.   Happy?   Sad?   Both?

I am confused....

Friday, November 29, 2013

Little Angel

Today is the day I lost my little angel.   I was just over 7 weeks pregnant and thought that I finally had a baby that was going to stick.   She was named already.  Sarah Faith.  A little sister for my beautiful daughter.  

But it wasn't ment to be.   My tummy felt funny and I just didn't feel right.   I told Dragon that she was gone.   The spotting started.  Then the tissue came.  And finally a tiny baby.   A perfectllittle head.   Arms and legs.   They didn't let me see her on the ultrasound but she had a heart beat just hours before I held her.  

If she had just been a little older.  A little bit bigger.   Today she would have turned 18 years old.   She was my fourth miscarriage and very nearly my last pregnancy.   Dragon didn't want to try again.   We are both very happy we did .   Three more pregnancies and three beautiful children.  

All these years later it still hurts.   My Christmas tree is filled with angels for her.  All year long you can find angels in every room of my house. I see one and have to have it.   One day I will meet my lost babies but for now I will enjoy the ones I have here on earth.   Heaven will just have to wait.

Sleepy Sex

We had a quiet Thanksgiving.   Church in the morning and an afternoon drive.  Barbecue and potato salad for dinner.  Family time.   It was nice.  

By 9 I was ready to go to bed.  I left the kids in the living room watching Christmas movies.   For a change, I fell asleep without any problems.   I guess that is what a stress free day does for me.   :-) My daughter came home from work and woke me up just enough to let me know that she was home safe.   (house rules)

Sometime in the middle of the night, I felt my panties slide off my bottom.   Not all the way off,  just enough for wandering hands to explore.   I heard paper rip and felt Dragon shift his weight.

I was to sleepy to care what he was up to.   My memory of the late night activities is a bit foggy.  I remember thinking "WOW it doesn't hurt tonight.  He must be taking his time."  A little latter I think I said, "Hmmmm,  that feels good."  Not sure if I just dreamed that part.  

When I woke up this morning, my panties were back in place and I was left wondering if it was just a dream.   Before Dragon left for work, he let me know how pleased he was with me.  

The great, sleepy sex that I thought was a very very good dream was real!

Today is a wonderful day.  I am just a little sore today.   A reminder of his touch every time I sit.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Happy Spanksgiving

We had our Thanksgiving celebration last Sunday.  It was the only day both Dragon and my daughter would be home.   So....  Thursday we will smoke a briscit and celebrate spanksgiving privately.  

It has been very cold the last few days.   Cold for us this far south!  The garage and my bottom have been neglected.   Since this time of the year is hard for both of us,  that is a very bad thing.

I am going to move the space heater back out to the garage,  vacuum the rug and do a little cleaning.   I found the little glass dildo in a box. I tthink Dragon has forgotten about it.   I'll get it ready for play and move the hitachi to a plug in the garage.   Line up the paddles and floggers.


What else?   Maybe a knife and a hand of ginger.   This is going to be play and not anything as serious as a maintenance or punishment.   But.....

Who knows?   These things tend to go in unexpected directions.

I'll have to wait and see.  

Other plans for the day?
Fill a quart jar with change and a few bills.  Then go out and find someone who needs a blessing.   Have the youngest family member give it to the person, say happy Thanksgiving and run.  

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Yeah me!

I am the queen of procrastination.  Yep,  that is me.  I have been dreading a chore.   I have managed to put it off for over a year.   It has turned into an even bigger job.  Eeekkk.

Sorting a few mixed up boxes the movers made a disaster of.   One box is gone.  Linnens are in another box.  Most of the stuff in that box is in the garage.   Just the usable stuff is left.   One more box to go.  

I now have a spot for the cat playpen.  She has been naughty.   Every time the door opens,  shestreaks out and won't come back.  She comes back hours later, covered in fleas.


I can't have that.  Not when I am finally getting the fleas under control.  So the cat goes in the playpen I have for foster cats.   It is either that or get rid of her.   Not an option.

She will still have some freedom of the house but it will help us keep her safe.  

Yeah!  No punishment for me!  Dragon made it a task.   He got tired of my bad attitude and took it to the seat of the problem.   If it didn't get done today,  he was prepared to for the worst.  A barn burner.   Yeash....  

Hey,  I may just get a good girl spanking out of this.  Happy me. :-)

Ps Dragon's biggest problem with the cat wasn't her sneaking out but that was part of it.   She has decided that his clean clothes make a perfect litter box.   Never mine,  just his.  After going to work twice smelling like cat pee he had enough.  

I can't blame him.   Not sure what to do with her other than trying the crate for a while.  

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Letters from home

We were cleaning up the garage yesterday and found a box of letters.   Ones I sent to Dragon when he was deployed.   Those ment more to him than I ever imagined.  Here is the first one I picked up out of the box.   He wrote this one to me in 2009.

My Love,
I am sorry I haven't written more.  I know how much a letter means.  I guess I have been lazy this deployment.   Every day I wake up and think I am one day closer to you.  Right now that is all I want to know.  Then someone comes to me and says we only have xx days to go and that sounds like forever to me.  I am looking forward to spending time with you again.  I am going to try to be a better husband when I get back.  I know we have changed and it is hard to make the switch from being around people I really don't like all that much to being with those I love dearly.  It seems like it would be easy but for some reason the jerck stays with me too long.  Please help me so that I can make the transition and show you how much I really love you.  I don't want to get home and hurt you.  I know that I already have by the lack of letters this trip and I am very sorry.  Please forgive me.  I love you always.

This was written during a huge ptsd break.   We were holding on but only just.   When he came home,  we were able to put our marriage back together.   We dated,  went on picnics and long walks.   It was hard but we came out of it better than ever.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Indian summer

It isn't the rain we so desperately need but the weather was perfect for working outside.   Chores that would have been done in the freezing cold when we lived up north.   It was a busy day.   It was so nice that my kids didn't even fight.

Gutters cleaned,  fire wood cut, the first stage of Christmas lights up.   Like I said, it was a productive day.   Lots done on an 80* day.  Temps unheard of up in the mountains of Idaho for November.  

After a shower and a nice sit down meal with my family,  it was time for some fun.   The flogging ended up being much shorter than either one of us wanted.   A muscle in my shoulder protested.   A burning ache that had nothing to do with the floggers and didn't feel good at all.   We went inside to continue the fun.

Well....  That didn't last long either.  I over did it working outside.   The damaged nerves in my face had enough. It was time to get some rest and my body demanded it.  No play, no movie or story book.   Nothing worked.  Just sleep.

But Dragon still got his fun.   Since I ended up going to bed supper early,  I was up at 4:30. Dragon was ready to play.   We had over an hour to play before he needed to get ready for work.  

Best way to start the work week ever!

Thursday, November 14, 2013


After the Veterans Day flogging,  Dragon rediscovered one very big side effect he had forgotten about.   After a good hard scene of impact,  I sleep better for days.  

It was great!  I went to bed and actually got some sleep.  No tossing and turning.  Actual sleep.  

The effects are starting to ware off a bit.   Dragon tried to find time to warm my back last night but it didn't work out.   We are going to have a late night tonight but we are going to try again anyway.   It is worth the effort.

Now for the mystery.   Why can I handle a hard flogging but not even the lightest of a paddling?
I guess I better follow the rules and not frustrate Dragon.  I DONOT WANT a paddling.  

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

A Busy Day With a Flogging on Top

LOL DAY interrupted my schedule on blog land.  But now the traffic has cleared out and I can make the post I have had in my head all day.

We started Veterans Day off with early Mass and Christmas shopping.   Dragon got some really good discounts.   I now have a new rosary to replace the one Mina lost and a prayer book that is so complicated I need to attend Seminary for 5 years to figure it out.   Blag.

We hurried home to get the kids.   Thor is out inthe ttheaters now and we are all Stan Lee fans.   Marvell Comics rock!  When we discovered that we wouldn't make the first showing of the day,  we had a little time to spare on a busy day.  

Dragon hid the presents we bought out in the garage and I joined him.   I need to know where these things are.   No early reveals for the kids. We moved the Christmas decorations to an area I can reach and dug out the light clips.  

Wow...  Time to spare and a moment of privacy?   What in the world would two kinky people do with a bag full of toys?  

It really shouldn't take that much imagination.   Or maybe it does....

"Take off your shirt, " he says as he walks toward the toy bag.   He pulled searched for the floggers at the bottom of the bag.  

" Kneel"

He took my bra off and and followed what has nearly became a ritual with us.

You know I love you. . .
I would never intentionally hurt you in any way.
What are your colors?

Then he added one more word.  "BRACE"

Talk about getting the heart going.   He started with the elk.  No gentile warm up.  It felt like a fist hitting my back.   Then he moved on to the snake.   Yowza that thing packs a sting.  

After a few swings hit the same spot,  I called a safe word.   YELLOW!  That thing is intense when it hits the same spot repeatedly.  

He stopped for a few moments to let the redness rise on my back.  Sometimes it takes  few mminutes.  Then he began again.   Swinging the whip first in a figure 8 then whirling it in a circle incredibly fast.  

He didn't take easy at all.  It felt like heaven.  

"Will you submit to me?  Do anything I ask? "

Silly question.   I was so deep into sub space that I couldn't hold my head up.   When he was sure that I was properly submissive,  we went back into the house.   He asked me latter if I was okay.  Checking in because of the safe word.   I told him that I only used the safe word when it really hurt.   He thought that was funny.I had to re word my answer.  

I only used my safe word when it didnt hurt good.  

He was happy with that one.   That was one hard flogging.   It kept me happy all evening long.   We still made the matinee.   Cheaper tickets!  Yeah!

Short and VERY sweet.   Yep,  Dragon is back.  

Love Our Lurkers

Today is LOL day!  My little blog gets more views than I have followers.   I know Lurkers are out there.   I appreciate your visits and your occasional comments.  

I would love to hear from you today!!!  Come on out and say hi!  

Sunday, November 10, 2013


Why do I share this every year?   Most people have no idea what it is like to be military.   Most people have no idea what it is like to be the one left behind.

This was written at the beginning of a deployment to a war zone, at the mid point and finally back at the airport.   The journal page was tear stained.   That was the hardest deployment of a long career.

I hate airports. They are places of tears. My body shakes as I try to control them. Then I look at my children and I see their hearts breaking. My own tears fall….He sees my tears and his iron grip of control begins to slip. People turn away. They can’t stand to see our pain. They know where he is going. They know we are left behind. I stand at the window watching the plane pull away from the gate. Walk that lonely walk back to the car. The drive home seems longer than ever. The house does not feel like home.

My best friend, my husband, the father of children has left. I don’t know where he is going. Don’t want to know. More questions than answers. When will he come home? Will he come home? How do I survive? He is my life. He is everything. I am me because he is with me. No more watching or reading the news. Not even just to read the headlines. Routine. Step by step each day I learn to survive. Run, breakfast, cut grass, shower, lunch, clean, check email, walk the dog. Same thing every day moving in a daze. I am afraid to hope.

At the airport again. The seasons have changed. But then so have I. I stand at the arrival gate waiting for a stranger. He is my husband and the father of my children. My tears fall once again. I am nervous and afraid. Will he really come home this time. Will everything be the same? I hope so. There he is. I see him. He has cut his hair again, his skin is darker, his eyes are different. I expect his hug to feel the same but it doesn’t. He walks ahead of me much faster than I can keep up to get to the luggage pickup. I know I should understand why but I don’t and he can’t explain. We are strangers again.

a military wife

Husband US Air Force Operation Southern Watch /Endearing Freedom /Iraqi Freedom /Task Force Horn of Africa /Korean cease fire,  Grandfather WWII army air corps, Grandfather WWII Army infantry,  father Vietnam Navy, great uncle WWII Interpreter Army?,  step dad army tanker Korea and Vietnam and many more

My family is filled with veterans.   I am proud of every one of them.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Dragon spanks

Dragon had taken me out to the garage to show me where he hid a Christmas present.   I saw the motorcycle still not fixed and reminded him that he had the parts to finish the job.   I lit the heater while he got the parts out of the truck.  

Putting the gas tank back on the motorcycle was frustrating.   A few dirty words and a new bruise latter it was done.  The bike is ready to ride.  

Dragon decided that he wanted to celebrat hhis accomplishment with a spanking.   He settled himself in the spanking chair, gathered his chosen tools and tapped his leg.   That is his signal that it is time.  

Pants and panties lowered, I made myself as comfortable as possible across his lap.   He started with a thick cherry paddle.   Tapping to warm up my backside.   A few harder swats added here and there.   Switching to the thin cherry, he picked up the pac .   Owie.   When I started panting he switched one more time.   Walnut this time.   After a few light taps he gave me a number.   Three very hard swats
  Owza those hurt.   Tears filled my eyes but he wasn't done yet.   About 10 more light stingy swats and then he was done.  

It was a good little stress relief session.   Love my man.   He was sick and just wanted to go tobbed. But he took the time to see to my needs.  

What is up with those strange double letters that happened at random?   A smart phone.   Auto correct insists on messing me up.   Sorry about that.   Trying to fix it just makes it worse.

Friday, November 8, 2013

Veterans Day

Here in the USA, Monday is Veterans Day.   We don't make a big hug event of it.   Never have.  Irremember going to a veterans memorial ceremony with my grandparents growing up but that is the most we ever did.  

There is one small thing you can do to recognize the day.   It is simple and small.   Shake a veterans hand and say thank you.  Did his wife follow him during his career?  Thank her to.  Their children who had no choice and the parents who had to say goodbye to their child.  

See?   It doesn't take much.  

Ready for something more? There are many organizations out there that help vets.   Programs to get them in homes, train service dogs and ptsd treatment centers.   These programs need money and there is never enough to go around.   A donation would be an excellent way to pay it forward.  

One more idea for you.  Take flowers to your local veterans cemetery.   Recognize the price of freedom with one red rose.

Stepping off my soap box now.   You know where I want my roses for Veterans Day.   On my backside.   I hope that with an extra day off, Dragon will find the time to play.   I want to write that post about how Dragon spanks His wife... Have a great three day weekend.  

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Spanking, Privacy and Kids

I bet you know exactly where this post is going.    After my last post I had planned to give a detailed account of my latest spanking.   It wasn't meant to be.  

Dragon had a rare day off in the middle of the week.  He wanted to work on the motorcycle and get a few things done around the house.   He let it be known that if I wanted a spanking that I was welcome to come out to the garage.

We moved a space heater out there and the sitting area in the garage was nice and toasty.  PPerfect for some private time.   Dragon just had to finish up with the bike.   It was a cheap fix.  The choke cable was broken.   That was a huge relief.  

Almost done.....

And you guessed it.   Kids come streaming into the garage.   I had a movie playing and for some reason, my little TV in the garage is cooler than the much larger TV in the house.   I didn't want to chase them off.   But dang....

No spanking

Sorry folks.   Maybe next time.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

How to Spank Your Wife

I give up.   Here it is.  A step by step guide on spanking.

1. Lecture your wife.  Be firm and make sure she knows how disappointed you are.


Who am I kidding?   I can't write a step by step guide.   There is no right way to do this thing we do.   Every person is different.   Every relationship is different.   What works for you may be completely different from what works for me.   That is okay.

A look may be enough but then again, you may need something more. Does time out work?  A barn burner? Or maybe just a few light swats on the back side?

I can tell you how Dragon spanks me.   I can share the few rules I have to follow.   I can tell you about kneeling and submission from my point of view but I can't tell you how to do it.   It is something that you have to figure out for yourself.

It is okay for dd to feel awkward at first.   It is okay to have a few missteps.   We have had our share of mistakes.   From rules that don't work for us to spankings that ended to soon.

What makes this lifestyle work?   Communion.  Talk about it.  Write things down if you need to.   Just make sure that you are both on the same page.   And here is the hard one.   Be consistent.   At the same time, it is okay to say "hey, let's take a break.   I'm tired tonight"   This is real life, not some pretend, make believe,  role playing game.   Give yourself some slack.

Most important of all is consent!   When one says no more, you are done.   I don't believe in this consensual non consent.   It either is or it isn't.   I consent to each and every spanking.  Whether it is for fun or for punishment.   No is no.   It is the difference between TTWD and abuse.   No fine lines there.   It is simple.

Common sense
and last but not least Compassion

How do you spank your wife?   The way that works for both of you.

Saturday, November 2, 2013


Fall is here.   The weather is cooling down and the leaves are beginning to fall.  No beautiful, bright fall colors here.  We are still in drought conditions.  The leaves turn brownish yellow,  curl up and fall.  The lake near my home looks more like a dried up mud hole.  

It is too cold in the garage for much fun.   The mice have taken over.   I have 4 traps out there and every time we have another cold snap,  I have to empty and reset them.   Not a place I want to play right now.   AND the snake is back.   It is hanging out in the garage right now.   I am sure it will check out the house soon.

Blag.  We really need to get into our own home. I really hate renting.   It will take time.   We would love to pay cash for land and build a house.   That is the dream any way.  

So,  what can we do when it is cold ooutside?   I promise you Dragon knows how to keep me warm.   That man has many talents.   Rope, scarves, knives and his most interesting body.   Can't figure out how it could be called dd but it sure is fun.

I would be willing to bet that if he was determined to punish, it would happen.   The mice would be my witness.   Cold body and burning backside.   All the more reason to follow the house rules.