Saturday, April 27, 2013

Dragon's Meme

Have you ever looked at someone and wondered how you can love them so very much?  That is what struck me yesterday.  I was up at 5 am as usual making his breakfast.  Then I wondered if he ever looks at me in the kitchen in amazement that I get up every day to make his breakfast.

Yes, I asked him.  He asked me how I read his mind.  Love my man.  Anyway here is the man meme.

1. He is sitting in front of the TV, what is on?  Nascar or a history documentary

2. You are out to eat, what kind of dressing does he get?  Ranch.  I have never seen him eat anything else on a salad

3. The most striking thing about his physical appearance?  His smile.  His entire body smiles.  It isn't just a facial expression.

4. Where did he go to high school?  Public school

5. shoe size?  9 1/2

6.  When you go out to eat, what does he order to drink?  Sweet tea

7. If he were to collect anything, what would it be?  Tools and spare parts.  He is a pack rat in his shop

8. What is his favorite sandwich?  Easy one.  I fix him a P,B and J every day

9. What is his favorite cereal?  He doesn't eat the stuff.  Eggs and sausage for him

10. What would he never wear?  Polo shirts.  He hates the things

11. What is his favorite sports team?  The team our kid is playing on.  Not into sports other than Nascar

12. Who did he vote for in the last election?  Not the sitting president.

13.  What is something he wishes you wouldn't do?  Cuss.  I let one slip occasionally

14. You bake a cake for his birthday, what would it be?  pineapple upside down cake

15.  What is his heritage? German/native american  Strange mix I know

16. Did he play sports in high school?  No, he was a band geek.  Love my drummer

17.  What could he spend hours doing?  Fixing or building.  He could spend all day in his shop.

18.  What is one unique talent he has?  The ability to make me smile. And yes, that is a talent.          

Monday, April 22, 2013

Dragon Takes Action

We talked and he got this grin on his face that tells me I am in for it.

In his defense, we have had a stressful year.  Entering civilian life has been just as hard as we thought it would be.  It is more than just getting a new job.  It is a completely new way of life.-guaranteed 8 hours a week.  Yikes.  He usually works 38-60 hours which pays the bills.  Then the union went nuts and there was talk of mass layoffs and what about thousands of jobs that would be affected?  Yes, Dragon's would have been one of those jobs.  Gone with the flick of a pen.  Thank goodness congress intervened but what about next year?  And the next?

Thankfully a new job opportunity may have opened up. Guaranteed 40 hours a week.  It will be a pay cut but with more stability   I think we could live with that.  Time will tell.   I have been praying for God to open a window, to show us where he wants us to go.  It keeps looking like this job will not last.    Dragon has been so much at peace since we discovered this open window.  It let in a breath of fresh air just when we needed it the most.

Now on to what Dragon did after we talked...

A spanking didn't happen.  We are renting a small house.  Too small for our family.  And the garage was a disaster.  No room to even sit a chair for OTK.  But that didn't stop him for asserting himself in other ways.

You see, Dragon doesn't sleep very good.  He always wakes up in the wee hours of the morning and can't go back to sleep.  The last few nights he has been waking me up too.  He knows that I am not going to get into love making at that hour but he uses his time to great effect.  He takes me in a way that is all HIM.  Now he does make sure I get something out of it but he isn't gentile.  After he has his way with me, he is able to go back to sleep for another hour or two.  Another good side effect?  What it does to my head!  I get up first thing in the morning feeling very submissive.

We spent Sunday cleaning out the garage.  He built storage shelves while I swept, cleaned and organized.  It is far from down.  There are boxes still to unpack.  The movers threw his tools into huge boxes intended for hanging clothes.  There are big voids at the top of every box and they are very heavy to move.  Those are still lined up to sort out.  Then there are his uniforms and gear that we have to keep for 5 years.  Baby gear that I break out when the kids are babysitting in our home and Christmas decorations.  Books we don't have shelves for.  Every move the shelves get left behind to save weight. Then there are the nick-knacks that I hate to unpack just to have to pack them up again.    Dragons, swords and all kind of neat mid-eval stuff.  All stored in the garage.

Do you see why would have an issue with room?  Add to that Dragons wood working tools and you have a huge mess.

We sorted and cleaned until we made a good dent.  He ran out of wood to build more shelves and I ran out energy.  After supper was fixes we had plans.  We were going to put the newly clean area of the garage to very good use.  No suck luck.  He was tired and I was hurting in a very NON erotic way.  My feet were throbbing and my hips felt like someone stuffed the joints with ground glass.  Not a good combination.  I usually help with supper but not last night.

We ended up going to bed and sleeping.

I think we may be finally getting back on track.  I have hope anyway.  

Good news?  The garage is clean and ready when we are.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

A Note to Dragon

I love you with all my heart.  A spanking, even a punishment will not change that.  It will only strengthen us.  You have seen that in the past.  It will help both of us.  Just because I don't agree doesn't mean you can't push.  If you insist, I will submit.  You made a rule and I broke it.  Even if I think it should be an exception to rule, you are probably right and I am wrong.

So what if I get mad at you?  Isn't pouting against the rules too?  You have threatened to spank for pouting before.  My bottom won't break of you spank me twice in day.  I have safe words and you know when I start to panic.  Wait a bit and let me calm down, then get my backside!

I depend on you for so very much.  You deserve my very best.  When I fall short of your expectations you have some powerful tools in your hands.  I would never love you any less for using those tools to redden my backside.

It is too cold in the garage?  You have spanked me over jeans before and if I get too cold that might just be a little encouragement not to do disappoint you again.  

Owch that hurts!  Well... isn't it supposed to hurt?

I don't deserve it this time?  Oh?  What is different about this time?  It is against the rules.  Who gets to decide if it is an exception to the rule or not?  Apparently I wasn't a very good judge of my behavior to begin with.  That is why it is a rule.   

You are tired from work?  Now that I do understand.  My punishment doesn't have to be a punishment for you too.  Lines?  Corner time?  What would please you?  Your naked wife curled up in your arms?  That works too.  

This is the part where I submit to you.  So why am I writing this?  Seeing your shoulders drop when I get defiant.  That breaks my heart but I keep doing it.  I know you can't force my submission any more than I can force your dominance.

I promise to do better.  The next time I earn a punishment, when you call me on bad behavior, I will do my very best to not argue myself out of it.  I will do my very best to be an adult and accept the consequences for my actions.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Disaster and Comfort

(Warning:  I use the S word in this post.  If that offends, you might want to stop here.  I found comfort in Dragons arms)

So many disasters this close together.  The bombs at the Boston Marathon, some kind of explosion in Oklahoma City and then the fertilizer plant in West, Texas.  I have been on the edge of tears since the bombing.  They finally fell when I found out the first responders, fire fighters and a deputy died in the explosion in Texas.  I kept thinking about Dragon and couldn't help but be thankful that we live too far away for him to respond.  My imagination is my enemy.

It was after midnight.  For a change, Dragon didn't try anything when we went to bed at 10.  He checked the news one more time, email and face book.  Then he rolled over and went to sleep.  I didn't have to ask why.  He was triggered and wanted to be left alone to deal with it for a while.  I needed his arms around me but I knew that would come in time.

I couldn't sleep.  Every time I closed my eyes I saw flames and images so graphic I won't describe here.  When the going gets tuff I turn to fiction.  I was re-reading a story out of a book called "Deep in the Heart of Texas"  Yes it is spanking fiction and has stories by three different authors.  The stories are all related which makes it a bit longer than your average spanking romance.  That is why I like it so much and keep going back to it.  The stories are disappointingly short and short on detail but that seems to be a rule for spanking fiction.

About the time Dragon rolled over to hold me, I had gotten to a hot seduction scene.  The more I read, the more I craved Dragons touch.  I mumbled, "take me."  He was more awake than I though.  In no time at all my panties were pushed down and he was caressing my backside.

Spanking fantasies on his part?  Probably...

Next thing I know he has me on my knees and is ready to take me.

Last night he took me hard and fast.  Perfect for the mood I was in.  Guess it was perfect for him too.  Sex puts me in a very submissive state of mind, especially that position.  I feel absolutely taken and dominated.  He was in top space and I could feel it with every inch of my body.  Seemingly with no regard for me needs but just what I needed at the same time.  Brutal and fast.

I fell asleep in his arms.


Ps.  I googled fibromyalgia.  My symptoms don't fit the old standard but there was a form to fill out for the new standard.  I filled it out.  I scored on the high side.  Not good. But it doesn't explain the pain in my feet.

I think I over did it yesterday.  I guess it is good that the weather is going to be bad all day.  No gardening today.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Dragon knows

I thought it was a big, dark secret.  It was a shadow I didn't want to talk about.  I didn't want to acknowledge but he knew.

I told him about the confusion.  Forgetting things and getting confused during the day.
(good news?  I see it.  It is really bad when the confusion hits and don't realize what is happening)

I told him about the pain that fills my day.   Feet, hips, hands, elbows, shoulders and the headaches.
(good news?  my knees and back don't hurt, I am not falling yet and I am still mobile)

I told him about the fatigue that sends me back to bed to rest after the smallest task.

What did he say?

"I know.  It isn't as bad as you think.  It has been worse than this before and it is getting better.  You are more tired because you are fighting it.  You are moving more and trying to do more things.  You are frustrated because you run out of energy before you finish what you wanted to get done.  It is okay.  I am watching.  I see more than you know."

Yes he does.  Just when I am feeling guilty for the time I spend resting, he posted this on face book.

We don't know what is wrong.  Doctors won't listen but we both know this isn't normal.  The problem is that I am not very good at telling a doctor what is wrong.  My memory slips.  How do you tell a doctor about memory loss?  That is hard to do when you don't know what is gone.  How do I tell a doctor that something is wrong when to me, it is normal?  That is what keeps us from getting a Dx.  Time will tell.  Dragon wants me to go to a big hospital several hours away and see doctors there.  He thinks they will figure this thing out.  This time I will let him decide when it is time to go.  He is in charge.  He knows more than I think he does.

One day at a time.  I will keep moving, keep pushing and hopefully this too will pass.  I am thinking about trying to wrap my feet during the day to see if it will help.  For my hands, I just have to be careful and not use them too much.  No opening bottles or picking up heavy things.  I know the rules.

Dragon's rule?  "Don't try to do too much and Missy?  Don't feel guilty about resting when you need to.  I can't fix this but I can make sure you get the rest you need."

Love my man!

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

A Dragon of a Different Color

I read other blogs and I am surprised at the things other women get spanked for.  Dragon has a short list and sometimes, things on that list take me by surprise.  He spanks for things he thinks are important enough to bring tears to his kitten's eyes.  And that list is short.

Picking a fight.  Whether it is with him or someone else, if I don't back off when he gives me the look....  I will feel the burn on my backside.

Seat belt use.  My memory is poor.  My mind drops things that aren't important to me.  Well....  this one is important to Dragon.

Cussing.  I can get away with a few words here and there but I better be careful.  I never know where Dragon is going to draw the line on this one.

Can I say I am relieved?  Punishments come few and far between. I don't live in fear of the paddle.

Now on the other hand, good girl spanking of the fun kind.  Those come when ever we get a private moment for a little fun time.  The paddles are sitting beside the floggers and the rope.  Fun times to be had for sure.  Did I mention Dragons knife collection?  YIKES and melt my heart all in one breath.

Dang, I want to play now and Dragon is tired.  Maybe I'll take this opportunity to top for a change.  Hmmm.  Can a big, mean Dragon bottom for a kitten?  Guess I will find out tonight.    

Monday, April 15, 2013

Family time

We had a great family outing.  We went to a state park about a 2 hour drive away and spent the day.  We hiked, jumped rocks to cross the river and had a picnic.  While everyone else played on the rocks, I sat on the bank watching.  My balance was way off.  I had to use my cane.  Made me sad but I still had fun.

Dragon had to help me ALOT crossing the river on the rocks.  We both almost fell in several times but we made it.  The kids said I looked like a wet kitten.  Dang kids.  They video taped my crossing.  I looked twice my age.  And at 41 that IS NOT a good thing.

I got up this morning to fix Dragon breakfast and pack his lunch as usual.  He took one look at me and put me back in bed before he left.  He told me not to feel guilty and to stay put for the day if I needed to.

Looks like it isn't going to be much of a choice.  I feel rotten.  It is that awful bone pain I get in my skull.  NOTHING helps it.  Just time and rest.

How did he know?

There is so much to be done.  The grass needs to be cut.  I need to work in my sewing room so I get the dresses on Etsy.  Laundry needs to be folded.  The list is never ending.  Blag.

Oh well.  There is always tomorrow.

My vision is going wonky now so it is time for me to put the computer down and go back to sleep.  Hate days like this but that is what happens when I have done too much.  4 hours in the car and hiking with the fam was just too much.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013


I turned my sewing into a business several years ago.  Life has been so busy lately that I haven't gotten around to filing the dreaded income taxes.  Yikes.  The deadline is almost here.  Monday I got the documents sent and today I finally finished the inventory for the business.

Scary stuff...   YIKES

Do you know how much damage a nesting mouse can do?  Over $200 in merchandise gone.  Grrrr.   Specialty polo shirts that I sell to fire departments.  100% cotton in a certain style and color.  Hard to find and expensive.  GONE   GRRRRR  Some of the shirts and hats are salvageable but I can't sell damaged goods.  I won't do it.  Guess I'll wash everything and take it to the salvation army.  That makes me mad.

Now I know where the mice are coming in and I have solved that problem.  That is what happens when you move as often as I do.  You discover NICE little surprises living the houses.  Like the snake under the bath tub and the nest of mice it was snacking on.

Squick.....and the house looked so nice and well maintained.  It was newly renovated   Fooled me.

I just hope our moving adventures will be over and done with soon.  I want a forever house.

Now who thinks I deserve a good girl spanking?

After three days of counting, computers and allergies I need a reward.

Dragon did mention a bubble bath.  He spoils me and I love every minute of it.

I think spring went on vacation this week so a warm bath sounds like heaven.

Saturday, April 6, 2013


I deserved it.

In full mommy-melt-down-mode I was yelling at everybody.  Nobody could do anything right in my eyes.  Fault finding was my mission.

I can't remember what was really wrong.  Sometimes I don't even know.  Dragon will recognize it sometimes or one of the older kids will point out what is wrong but I can't see it.  I was on a full out rampage.  I declared it to be family night and my family was NOT having fun.

Dragon sat down to just relax.  He worked all day and didn't have a good day at all.  He wanted to sit back and enjoy the quiet presence of his family.  In his way he took care of the problem.

He looked over at me with that look in his eyes.  I can't describe it.  It is that look that tells to straiten up right now.

Would he have spanked me if I kept it up?  Probably and it wouldn't have been fun.

Boy was that a close one.

Thursday, April 4, 2013


I feel his hand on my bottom, gently waking me with his touch.

"My love, it is time to get up.  Take care of your girl stuffs"

I uncover one foot and shiver.  He pulls me into a warm hug that makes me want to stay right where I am.

He gives my bottom one more pat and I know it is time to move.

Every morning

I don't have to wake up alone anymore.  I don't have to wait for days or weeks to hear his voice.  He is there every day.

Yes, I do know what a privileged it is to have him beside me.  Our mornings are so very important to both of us.  I think they are even more important because it is something new.  Something we started when he retired from the military.

Part of life after.  

We are still adjusting.  Still learning.  But that is life.  Change is part of it and we have to change with the times.