I thought it was a big, dark secret. It was a shadow I didn't want to talk about. I didn't want to acknowledge but he knew.
I told him about the confusion. Forgetting things and getting confused during the day.
(good news? I see it. It is really bad when the confusion hits and don't realize what is happening)
I told him about the pain that fills my day. Feet, hips, hands, elbows, shoulders and the headaches.
(good news? my knees and back don't hurt, I am not falling yet and I am still mobile)
I told him about the fatigue that sends me back to bed to rest after the smallest task.
What did he say?
"I know. It isn't as bad as you think. It has been worse than this before and it is getting better. You are more tired because you are fighting it. You are moving more and trying to do more things. You are frustrated because you run out of energy before you finish what you wanted to get done. It is okay. I am watching. I see more than you know."
Yes he does. Just when I am feeling guilty for the time I spend resting, he posted this on face book.
We don't know what is wrong. Doctors won't listen but we both know this isn't normal. The problem is that I am not very good at telling a doctor what is wrong. My memory slips. How do you tell a doctor about memory loss? That is hard to do when you don't know what is gone. How do I tell a doctor that something is wrong when to me, it is normal? That is what keeps us from getting a Dx. Time will tell. Dragon wants me to go to a big hospital several hours away and see doctors there. He thinks they will figure this thing out. This time I will let him decide when it is time to go. He is in charge. He knows more than I think he does.
One day at a time. I will keep moving, keep pushing and hopefully this too will pass. I am thinking about trying to wrap my feet during the day to see if it will help. For my hands, I just have to be careful and not use them too much. No opening bottles or picking up heavy things. I know the rules.
Dragon's rule? "Don't try to do too much and Missy? Don't feel guilty about resting when you need to. I can't fix this but I can make sure you get the rest you need."
Love my man!