Saturday, January 10, 2015

STD Scare

No, not me.  It was my daughter.

She got a late night phone call from an ex boyfriend.  "I have X and you gave it to me."

I am not sure what I could have done at 2 am but I did try to calm her down.

A little advice if you ever get one of those calls.

1. Consider motive.  Is he just trying to scare you?
2. Have you had any symptoms of X?
3. Have you put yourself at risk of getting X?
4. Does his story sound credible?

All of these questions applied to my daughter.  The chances of her having X and not knowing it were remote.  Since X is spread by IV drug use and not by vanilla sex, she probably didn't give it to him even if he has it. His story wasn't even credible.  He is being treated by a doctor for something else but got a home test for this one issue?

Geez! How stupid does this guy think we are?

Okay, she was gullible enough to believe him.  Thankfully mom, dad and her roommate all had cooler heads.

Oh wait.  I missed #1.  Motive

She dumped him. She had many reasons to do it but she hurt his little pride.

He wanted to hurt her.
He wanted to scare her
He wanted to put her under even more financial strain and stress.

He succeeded.

But daddy fixed it.

Since we can't find a doctor that will accept our insurance, we took her to a doc in the box.  Medical attention for the fast food generation.

They tested her for everything they could think of plus a few extras just in case.

The results were not unexpected.

"Honey, your blood sugar was a little high but everything else is fine."
Everything was negative?
Yes, mam.  That boy didn't get X from you.

I have a very confused daughter right now.  She doesn't know whether she should be happy for the negative results, mad at him for the lie or mad at herself for believing him.

A little more advice from a mom?
Don't panic.  Get tested even if it sounds far fetched. And most important?  Be safe.  Don't put yourself in a situation to be scared by an idiot.

I just wish I knew the laws concerning this situation better.  I am sure he is guilty of some kind of crime.  I just don't know what.

What have I learned out of this?
-If she insists on taking risks with her health, I am not obligated to listen to her drama at 2 am.
-I raised her right and educated her.  She knows the risks.
-If this happens again she can deal with it herself. I won't give up my anniversary date to take her to the doctor.
-She is an adult.  It is way past time for her to act like it.

Lots of lessons learned. By me anyway.  We will have to wait and see if she learned anything.


  1. Did Daddy apply a little old fashioned spanking to help her grow up a bit ?

    1. Unfortunately, no. She really needs a strong, spanko husband to blister that backside.

  2. I must admit I'm a bit of a lurker on all these blogs but had to comment. Good for you! I'm not there yet with my kids but am very close and I will always remember this blog should I need it! Thank you for sharing and I really do love all of your posts!!!

    1. Thank you Cherished! I am never sure whether or not I am doing the right thing but I keep trying. I know I need to stop fixing things for my oldest. She needs to fall a few times.

    2. PS I am very happy you de-lurked. I love to hear from readers

  3. I would have probably done exactly what you did. Our instinct is to help them. When you are woken up in the middle of the night it's hard to focus immediately!
    However, what a creepy, awful man he is. Probably has some underlying emotional disability. That does not excuse his actions!
    Some of the other learning you experienced- I understand as well. Sometimes it's hard being parents!

    1. I hope the creep is gone forever. I warned her not to sleep with him. Hopefully she learned something from all this.

  4. Sorry, but thank God the guy proved that he is no Prince Charming and hopefully will pick another type of man. We can always hope they eventually get the good sense we instilled in them.

    1. Hopefully she figures it out soon. I keep telling her to find someone at church but she doesn't listen.

  5. Oh sorry you, Dragon and your daughter had to go through that. I also would have done exactly what you did. Ya know...I kept telling my boys...learn from my mistakes and make new ones...then we can all learn something new! Of course, they didn't listen to that either! These are some very good points you listed but don't be surprised if you run to her rescue if something happens again...

    Unfortunately, the lousy ex didn't break any laws by lying to her...otherwise I know a lot of people who would be in jail.

    Sending lots of positive energy that she finds a nice, loving, spanko man!

    Hugs and Blessings...

    1. You are probably right. Next time she calls mom will fly to the rescue again. I wish I could get the snake for something but I agree. You can't press charges for being an idiot.

  6. You're a good mama. I'm glad you helped her get it straightened out.