Submitting

It is the hardest part of TTWD but at the same time it is what I crave. At first I think he needed to make me submit to him, then I realized the value of doing it just because.  When I give willingly and freely, it has a deeper meaning for both of us.  The more I give, the more I get in return.

I don't know why I struggle so much with giving oral pleasure to my Dragon.  To say that he was surprised when I wanted it is an understatement.   That day I fully submitted to him in a way that I never had before.  He took his pleasure from me 4 different ways.  First my hands, then my mouth, sex and finally in my behind. Three of the four I struggle with.  He knows how hard I struggle.  He knows how hard it is for me to do even one of them.  But to give so completely, now that put a smile on his face.

What did my absolute act of submission do for him?  He has dealt with the stress at work better.  He can't wait to get me in bed to see what I might do next.  He is stepping up into his role as HOH more.  He spends less time mopping and more time engaging with the family.

Submitting absolutely flipped a switch in my head.  I have been more eager to do things just because he likes them.  I went from being a crock pot to being the frying pan.  My energy levels are still low but I keep going anyway.  Even the kids see a difference.

For us as a couple, we are touching more.  I don't pull away and he reaches out more often.  He even gave me a task today.  He NEVER gives me tasks like that anymore! I am to use the toys to prepare my body for him.  If I use the toys first he doesn't have to go as slow and everything is more comfortable for me.

I think he wants to take me 4 ways again today.  The strange part is that I am looking forward to it.