Friday, November 4, 2011

What to tell your Doctor

Ooops! ! ! You have a mark or two or three from a session and need to go to the Doctor.
No, it can’t wait. You have to go today and he will see those colorful marks all over your backside.
OH NO! ! ! TIME TO PANIC ! ! !
Not necessarily. Slow down. Take a deep breath. You can do this.
You have a few options.
The first is human nature. Don’t say anything.
What is going to happen? He is going to question you and his nurse will give you phone numbers for crisis hot lines and the local women’s shelter.
Nope. I don’t like that one at all. Now my Doctor thinks I am a battered wife and my husband will get dirty looks every time we walk in the door. That is best case scenario. Worst case? An anonymous call to the police. I don’t want to be questioned by the police about my lifestyle or what we do in the privacy of our bedroom. Nor do I want to try to explain it to the judge.
Or…… you could tell him the full truth.
Hey doc, we practice DD. My husband spanks me when I break one of our household rules. I consent to this lifestyle and can end it at any time. Last time he spanked me, he left a nice hand print on my backside. Just didn’t want you to worry about it.
Now that could get nasty. You are going to get the women’s lib lecture and a few phone numbers. You may even end up talking to a social worker before you leave your appointment.
A better option? Partial honesty.
Hey doc, I am into an alternative lifestyle thing and there are few marks on my ass. They were consensual and I had fun getting them. Just thought you should know before you got the wrong idea about things.
No, they weren’t really fun but the doctor doesn’t need to know EVERYTHING. He now has just enough information to know that you are not a battered wife. In fact, he is going to think you are kinky whether or not you really are. And you won’t have to deal with all those phone numbers and pamphlets or a visit from the police.

Partial honesty has worked for me a few times. No questions. No awkward moments.
What works for you?


  1. Oh this is a hard question. I've never been in this situation so I have absolutely no idea! I sometimes wonder how I would explain any marks though, I have no answer that would be suitable or vague enough lol!

  2. I am actually struggling with this one a bit. Not because I have marks when I go, but because I can't find a way to explain why a car accident impacted my sex life so much. Though I guess it's a bit different with D/s than dd.

    If you get any great answers/ideas I would love to know!

  3. I haven't faced it yet. He tries very hard to not leave marks but I will admit that if I have a scheduled appt I am extra good those couple of days before.

  4. I have had the same Doc for over 20 years, I could easily tell him we played a little rough and he wouldn't bat an eye. In fact he would probably congratulate me. Hope he never retires.

  5. Dee I went to the chiropractor just days after a good session with the flogger. My back was tiger stripped. (yes, it was a fun session) I was worried but up front about how I get the marks. He took it in stride.

    lil, D/s and DD are not that much different. We were D/s for about five years before we added DD to the mix. But I won’t be admitting that I am DD to a doctor. I explain away my marks by saying that I am in an alternative lifestyle. Let them make of it what they will. Swinger? BDSM? I don’t care as long as they don’t think I’m being abused.

    Susie, My marks don’t usually happed because of punishment but I’m still careful when I know I have an appointment scheduled. Bruises and marks are rare for me. I like them but the red marks fade in less than an hour most of the time. It is better to be prepared for the questions than to be caught off guard.

  6. faerie, That is great! the only doc I trust that much is my allergist. but... I don't tell him anything about my lifestyle.