The Envelope

Just before the thanksgiving holiday rush began, I asked Dragon to tuffen up just a little.  I reminded him the holidays are always hard for me and I need him now more than ever.

He agreed

What was I thinking?  He is already strict enough.  I am one of the lucky ones.  Naturally submissive and easily disciplined.  All it takes is a look from him to bring me back in line, most of the time.  However, he has slipped over the last few months.  He finished his degree and the classes took up most of his time.   The kids took up the rest of our time.  There was nothing left for us.  

When his schedule filled, ttwd was one on many things that were put aside.  He is slowly getting things back on track but I am still falling.  We had discussed non spanking punishments before but decided that they weren’t needed.  They are now possibilities.  For punishment as well as pre-emptive.  Not sure if or when he is going to use them but they are now officially in the tool box.

Something else new is the envelope.  Some days he will tell me to take an envelope to be opened at a specific time.  In the envelope will be a task designed to put me an obedient, submissive state of mind.  What will the task be?  I will find out when you do.   I’m kinda nervous.   My imagination has to be worse than the reality.  Doesn't it?


Here goes nothing.  I just got a call to open the first envelope.


Opening the very first one…..


The slip of paper is in my hand….


On no….  The plug.   Yep.  That will put me is a submissive state of mind.

What was i thinking?  Next time I'll  have to remember NOT to think at all.

Hanging of the Green....one year latter

I can’t believe it.  My little blog turns one year old Monday.  I looked back at my very first post and it is about our annual tradition.  “Hanging of the Green”  We drag the rubber maid boxes out of the garage one by one and decorate for Christmas.


In years past this has been a disaster.  I always fall apart.  You see, Monday is also an anniversary of a different sort.  It is the date of my fourth miscarriage.   I carried This baby longer than I had the other three.  I thought this one would be ok but something just felt wrong.  Then the bleeding started.  It was late so we raced to the ER.  The baby was ok for a little while.  I was put on bed rest.  Three days latter.  November 28, the cramping returned.  This felt more like child birth.  I could time the contractions.  I lost the baby on the morning of the 29th.


We nearly gave up.  He could see how much I was hurting.  So much that I was incapable of seeing his pain.  He never wanted to see me in that much pain ever again.  I think I know why I couldn’t stay pregnant for more than 8 weeks.  I was too thin.  The human body needs body fat to maintain a pregnancy and I had very little.  In my sadness, I quit moving.  I ate when I was told, moved only when I had to.  I gained 20 pounds.  WOW.  That brought my weight up to a whopping 115 lbs.  But it was enough.  This time I didn’t loose the baby and in blogland I call her pooh bear.


This year, we did things a little different.  Instead of me doing all the decorating with a little help, I stood at the box of neatly packaged ornaments, unwrapped them and as I handed them to the kids told them where it needed to go.  The living room looks like it was decorated by a bunch of kids.  That is ok.  No temper tantrums from me.  No tears.  We actually had fun!


WOW!  What a concept!  Fun over the holiday weekend!  Who would have thought?


Toward the end of the day, Dragons temper began to slip.  I could see the pain in his eyes.  I pulled him aside and we talked.


“Thank you Jimminy Cricket, I needed that.”


Who ever thought I would be a Cricket?  That is what he calls me when I quietly let him know he is getting off track.


The rest of the evening was nice.  The dishes were done, the living room straitened and we all cuddled on the couch to watch a Movie.   Just before bed I read two chapters in “Christmas Jars”    This long weekend has been nice.  Did TTWD do it?  Or something else?  I’m not sure.

Happy Thanksgiving! ! !

Wishing you and yours a very Happy Thanksgiving! ! !

The turkey is in the oven.  The final few dishes are being prepared.  My kids are watching the Macy's day parade.  Life is good.  My family is together!  As my children get older I find that I appreciate every moment with them more and more.   Time goes by in a blur of memories.

Enjoy your day and hug the ones you love! ! !   Make sure they know how much you truly do love them!

P is for what?

This blog is brought to you today by the letter P and the letter M.


Yes, I messed up.  I messed up in a very big way and dropped the F bomb.  I received a little mercy.  I didn’t get the punishment I dearly deserved.  You know the story.


Saturday, I knew the punishment had to happen but it was a very busy day.   Between sports activities there was no time for us.  When we finally got home we both fell in bed with no pillow talk.


Sunday, I admitted to him that I needed that punishment.  The guilt was eating away at my heart.  We slept late and had a lot of pillow talk before we got the kids out of bed.  He knew I was struggling.  He knew I needed the P that should have happened and planned to deliver it latter in the day.  Latter Sunday didn’t happen, asthma did.


Monday.  Work, late night game, huge fire in a neighboring city.  No time for P and when there was, we were both tired and I had another asthma attack.


Tuesday, even with grocery shopping after practice, we were home earlier than usual.  A quick and easy supper was fixed.  I read, a family tradition this time of the year.  I was expecting P as in punishment but it turned into pampering.

I walked into the bedroom and heard the water running in the tub.  The scent of lavender and chamomile filled the room.  BUBBLE BATH! ! ! !   I soaked and relaxed.  As the water was cooling I shaved my legs.  Easier done in the bath than the shower.  When I was ready for bed, I crawled in beside Dragon.


He gathered the floggers and told me to take off my shirt.  I rearranged the pillows and positioned myself for a long flogging.   The tails felt like leather rain.  Heaven at first.  Gentile, relaxing.  I almost went to sleep.  Then he brought out the one I call “Snake.”  That thing is wicked.  It BITES.  As in, it has a wicked sting.  Thankfully, he didn’t use it very long.


When he put snake down I thought he was done.  I was beyond relaxed and ready to sleep the night away.  No such luck.  He pulled my panties down and picked up one of our many paddles.  No idea which one.  I can usually tell which one he is using but not last night.


At first it was just a series of gentile taps.  He drummed out a tune on my backside.  Slowly the swats got harder until I felt him throw his leg across mine.  If you think that is a bad sign, you are absolutely right.  He held me down and told me to burry my head in the pillow.  The paddle fell again and again.  It hurt so bad.  I kept trying to get away but his leg held me firmly in place.

I asked, “was that a Punishment?


No, those were memory swats.


What are memory swats?


Swats that you will remember tomorrow.


Oh.


Vocabulary lesson learned.


P is for Pampered wife and for punishment.    But… Not at the same time


M is not for maintenance.  It is for Memory swats.


Yep, I remember them this morning.  My sore backside won’t let me forget.

To Confess or not to Confess (update)

Yes, I know I have to do it.  I have to tell him I dropped the F bomb.  OHHHHH I hate that word.  Why did I ever say it?  I had every right to be angry and frustrated but not to be cruel.   That was our very first rule under DD.  And strictly enforced.


I don’t want to tell him.  Hide it and feel guilty or confess?


I’ll confess.  Putting the computer down to do it right now.


Oh no.  He is pointing and looks mad.  Be back latter to finish this.  Maybe.


Latter now….


Dragon knows me.  He had my sewing on the table.  He wanted me to work.  That was all.  Do what he knows I love to do.  He knows that always calms my mind and brings piece to my heart.  I went to my sewing chair and when he came in the room, I closed the door for privacy.  It is a sliding glass door.  Not much of a barrier but it let us talk without being overheard.


I confessed and we had a LONG talk about kids.  The two oldest are slipping.  Sneaking around, not following the rules and not getting school work done.  We discussed what to do about it.  I grounded Bear and told her how to get un-grounded.  With the oldest, Amber, we are going to take a tuff love stand.  We have to.  She has to know that there are standards.  She needs to figure out what her priorities are.  If they don’t line up with ours, she needs to find a new home.  I won’t allow her to mooch off of us.  I won’t be walked on.


Consequences for the F bomb?  No idea.  I think we are both a little too upset right now.  I am sure there is a P in my future.  Tonight.  I’m worried but mostly just about the kids.  I know Dragon will be fair.

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Ok




So….. I got tired of waiting and finnaly asked around 8:30.


Me:  Do I get a hall pass?


Him:  For what?


Me:  (dang, why didn’t I just keep my fool mouth shut?)  For what I said earlier.


Him:  Ohhhh  that.  Do you deserve a hall pass?


Me: Can I plead the 5th?


Him:  I already know the answer.  I want to hear you say it.


Me: (dang I’m an idiot)  No, I don’t deserve one.


Him:  Tonight isn’t a good time for a punishment.  I won’t spank you during an asthma attack and I am not going to let this carry over for a day or two.  You get your hall pass but you don’t deserve one.  Not for this.

I hate to admit it, Dragon is right.

Not sure if I am relived or not.  Here is hoping he doesn’t read this entry.  I know I am relieved that he hasn’t thought of writing lines or corner time.  As much as I hate asthma, it did get me a hall pass tonight.

Dang

Dragon is snoring and I didn’t get my needed stress relief.   This is a no spanking night.


I am recovering from the worst asthma attack I have had in over a year.  Six.  Yes you read that right SIX hits of albuterol latter, I am shaking like a meth addict but breathing easier.


Here is hoping I don’t loose my temper tomorrow.  Fingers crossed and the paddles are right by the bed.  Lined up and ready for him to use.  I’m worried.


Asthma sucks.

Blogland

Blogland is a great place.  I can be open about a part of my life I have to keep hidden from everyone in Real life.  I can admit I’m kinky, whine about getting punished and ask for help with DD.  Here I meet other people who share my lifestyle.   People who don’t think it is weird that I am a submissive wife or that my husband spanks my butt when I break a rule.


It is a place I can be me.   I am not politically correct in real life or on line.  The things I say sometimes makes people mad.  And they leave my little corner of blogland.  I have been called hostile for asking a question and calling bull.  Well you know.  If it comes out of the south end of north bound bull, it isn’t a rose.  It is bull poop.    That is fine.  You don’t like my blog.  I don’t write for the reader.  I started this blog for me.  Pure selfish reasons.  I think it shows


There is just one HUGE problem with Blogland.


Just one.


I will probably never meet my blog friends.  They will forever remain in blogland.  That makes me sad.  There are so many of you I would love to meet.  Too many to list.  I am afraid I would leave someone out and feelings would get hurt (my lame attempt at political correctness)   Yes, I’ll call it a fail.  I’m not very good at being PC.  Not in my nature at all.


Just a note here.  If I ever do by chance meet you out in the real world, don’t ask me if your outfit makes your butt look fat.  I will be honest and tell you no, your butt makes your butt look fat.

Disaster Averted

Friday morning, Veterans day, Dragon was home.  He had the day off of work.  It was a work day for us.  The fall yard work needed to be done.  Grass cut one final time, leaves raked and limbs picked up from a recent storm.  And where we live, tumble weeds collected before they covered the yard.   I also had projects to finish up for a few clients.  (hate that serger.  It was still not working)


I was enjoying a lazy morning in bed.  Dragon got up.  A few minutes latter he came back in, asking questions about the coffee pot.  I started to get worried.  The coffee pot wasn’t dripping.  After several minutes it hadn’t started.


Yes, it is plugged in.


Yes, the right buttons are pushed and the lights are one.  One green and one red.


No, it isn’t doing anything.


Ok.  Time to panic.  Me without coffee for a day?  That is NOT a good thing at all.  Not with Dragon home for the day.


Supper Dragon to the rescue.  He heated water on the stove and poured it slowly over the filter basket and into the pot.  Fresh, Dragon brewed coffee.


Am I a lucky girl or what?  Love my man.


While I was working outside raking leaves and pulling weeds, he set up the camper.  It is a pop up and not a small task.  It is a hand crank model with two large beds.  Each side sleeps three.  It had to be set up all the way for him to retrieve the camping coffee pot.  It is just a cheap Walmart pot.  No timer.  No way to set how strong I want the coffee.  Just an on button.


So today, I am thankful to have my resourceful husband that found a way to make me coffee.  I am thankful he went to all that work just to get the camp coffee pot out of the camper.  I am thankful for cheap coffee pots.  And! ! !   I am thankful no one else saw what a treasure he was back when we were both single.


No more expensive coffee pots for me.  They don’t last any longer than the cheap ones do.   I still have two back up pots.  A Coleman pot that is made to sit on a propane stove and an old fashioned percolator.   Dragon wants to make sure I never have to go without coffee.   He gets his morning Dr Pepper and I get my coffee.

It was a good day.  Cold but good.

Temper Temper

(shhh, I am stalling for bed time.  I got out of a spanking this morning.  I whined, grabbed the door and flat out refused to submit.  EVEN when he got that…. are you sure you want to do that…. Look on his face.  Ooops.  I really don’t want it to be bed time yet.)  Stalling….


Food is my enemy.  That is what I have decided.  After the week I have had you would agree.  This bug I have is giving me fits.  For one, I almost NEVER get hungry.  It just isn’t a sensation that I am all that familiar with.  Normally hunger is taken care of with a few sips of water.  Real hunger?  Nope.  Not until this week.


I get hungry, eat, get a tummy ache and vomit.  Nothing would stay down and I always felt that awful feeling the rest of the population is very familiar with.  Very frustrating, I can tell you that.


The results?  Now that I am over that bug, I can eat.  But…. Only very small snacks.  I normally eat 5 to 6 times a day because I can’t eat a lot any time.  Now it is ridiculous.  A few bites and I am done.  It is like I just had gastric by-pass surgery or something.  After a small bowl of soup for supper and I feel like I just ate thanksgiving dinner.


 One good thing?  My “fat” jeans are getting loose again.  They look more like MOM jeans.  Even baggy in the butt again.  I can be happy for that one thing right?


….. Still stalling….  Did he forget?  I can hope…. Right?   Not a chance.  This one is going to be bad.  I was frustrated, trying to sew but with delay after delay.  Dad was home on a Friday, so the kids were off schedule.  Chaos.  I had a melt down then refused the cure.    This is NOT going to be a fun evening.


Time to face that paddle…..

Happy Thank A Veteran Day! ! !

11-11-11


I love this Holiday! It is a day to say thank you to those who have served our country in times of war. It is a time to honor the living and the fallen. Shake a veterans hand and say Thank you for all you have done. They deserve your respect and your thanks!

If you have spent any time reading my blog, you know that I am patriotic! I love my country! I love the diversity here and the freedoms we enjoy. Although I may not be happy with our current president, I know how to be heard! VOTE! Many people around the world do not enjoy the many freedoms I have. I can choose my religion. I can choose what kind of education my children receive. We have so many freedoms in the USA that other countries can only dream about.
　
As a child, every year, we would pile into my grandmothers station wagon. We would dive the long drive to the state line. Veterans were bussed in from retirement homes. I remember the drive in cramped car more that I remember the ceremony. There was a stage set up, music, people making speeches and I think there was food.
　
I remember my grandfathers tears as he remembered his years as a soldier during WWII. His hands shook for days. In November, there is always work to be done on a farm and my grandfather was always up for the task. Even on Veterans day. The cows were milked, butter churned, hay bailed, garden hoed and harvested. But he made time to say thank you to those who served beside him. He cried for the men who didn’t make it that year. Fellow soldiers who lived a long hard life and were now buried in the federal cemetery beside the small park.
　
The many veterans in my family made sure the next generation understood what a soldier sacrifices and why they do what they do. I would sit and listen to war stories for hours. The older I got the more graphic the stories got. Landing on beach, the Battle of the Bulge, the bombing of Pearl Harbor. Stories of the cold war. Korea, Vietnam. Stories about battle field hospitals, battle ships, airplanes, tanks and foot soldiers. The list goes on and on. I remember being so proud of my military family.


This post is dedicated to veterans of the past and the present. To the veterans who are no longer with us and the veterans who continue to fight for our freedom. To my grandfathers, father, stepfather, uncles, aunts and cousins who have sacrificed so much for the United States of America.
　
God Bless!

Happy Love your Lurkers Day! ! !

Like most, don’t always comment when I read a blog. I don’t read all the blogs I follow and I read blogs I don’t follow at all. Today is for all of us. We all lurk just a bit! ! !

　
This is an event started by Bonnie over in “My Bottom Smarts” It s an annual event to encourage lurkers to speak up and say Hi for the very first time. My blog, like most, has more readers than followers. I would love to hear from you today! ! ! ! !
　

Early Morning Swats

I have been sick for over a week and I am just beginning to feel better. Last night I felt so bad that I didn’t even bother getting ready for bed. I just kicked off my shoes and covered up. Dragon tried to make me undress but I told him I was too cold. At 2 am, I woke up dressed in yesterday’s clothes and hungry for the first time a week. I fixed a small snack and got a glass of water before I crawled back under the warm covers. (dressed for bed this time)
　
When the alarm went off I had to kick Dragon out of bed. The first half of the week is always hardest on him. I have no idea what time he left for work. He put on his coat and walked out the door but then he turned around and came right back in????
　
What is going on?
　
He walked over to my side of the bed and picked up a paddle. Oh no. I knew what was coming.
　
The words I didn‘t want to hear, “Roll over”
　
He played a fast beat on my backside. (the hazard of being married to a drummer) I could even pick out the beat this morning. Very distinctive. Wish I knew what song he was drumming out. It wasn’t a hard spanking. Just enough to let me know I had been spanked.
　
With a hug and a kiss he was off to work again. No reason given. It wasn’t a punishment. Just a little reminder that he is still in charge. That I am still his wife, taken in hand.
　
Love my man.
　
　
Breakfast this morning did not make my tummy hurt. I count myself lucky. Why? Now my kids are sick. Amber is in bed, Flower is on the couch, Bear is complaining in the kitchen and Bug is doing what he does best. Bugging everybody to death. I may just go for a walk to get away from all the moaning. Take a little time for myself and enjoy the crisp fall air.

From The Dragon

Ana you are a lying witch that just needs to leave! I don’t know who you think you are, but I am stronger.  She may not be, but I am by her side! We will fight you and we will win!  Here is how we are going to do it. 

One you are going to attack, not once, not twice, but repeatedly; I realize this and accept it you are a witch.  You are going to lie to my love and tell her that she is fat, I am going to tell her the truth an let her know she is beautiful every chance I get. 

You are going to make my love look at large women that don’t take care of themselves and think that is what she looks like.  I am going to point out the women that are beautiful and take care of themselves like my love does. 

You are going to tell my love that skinny is beautiful; well well skinny is all over the enquirer, need I say anything else. 

You are going to tell my love to hide what she is not eating, food doesn’t just disappear…I am smarter than that.  Dogs do gain weight too, men do occasionally take out the garbage (believe it or not), and when the garbage disposal clogs who fixes it?

OK, now you are going to make here feel bad because she can’t make you leave.  She did not invite you, you got in her head somehow and are hiding in there.  You are hiding so she cant see you.  I cannot either, but you give me plenty of clues.  I will not give you the clues, because you will make her hid them (men if you are reading this and want to know, just watch your wife for one month and you will see it). 

I love my wife, I am not always as quick as I should be about realizing when Ana Strikes again, but I will and we will defeat you again when you do.  We will defeat you with love and kindness.

Sincerely,

Dragon

Wish in One Hand

Spit in the other...  or get a sore backside...
　
Sewing with the serger always takes all day. The thing has me in tears every time I try to use it. It is an older Kenmore. Translate that to a cheaply made badged machine. T ears with a badged machine are to be expected.

Breath……

After the third broken needed of the day my frustrations were beginning to turn violent. I just wanted to hit SOMETHING! ! ! Anything……. That thing just won’t work right for me.
　
WHINE….. I want a Babylock.
　
What is a Babylock you ask? A very expensive machine, is what it is. $3000 for a very specialized machine that I probably won’t use every day. But very, VERY nice. The lower looper is threaded with a soft puff of air. No headache. No whine. Just poof and it is threaded. The upper looper is super simple. This thing is so different that they give you a class on the thing before you leave the store with it.

Want…..

　
Want….Whine….Pout…. HITSOMETHING…..
　
What was that? Hit something? Oops. Dragon is home today. My urge to hit something meant that my stress relief session happened a little sooner than I thought it would. Stress relief when I am in a temper is never very much fun.
　
Calm. Cool. Collected and a bit sore in the sit-upon-part, I am ready to go back to my sewing room and finish this little dress….. On the bernina, which works like a dream. The serger will wait for another day.
　

food issues

Some of you probably already know but here it goes anyway. I have issues with food. Most people live to eat. I simply eat to live. I eat because I have to. I eat because I have a husband that makes me. I look at my body and it makes me sad. The refection in the mirror lies to me, according to my husband. Reflected back in my eyes is a fat, ugly blob. I can’t be too thin. I can’t be too small in my eyes.
　
I still have the jeans I wore on the day of our wedding. Size 2. That was a 2 seventeen years ago. Much smaller than a 2 today. My hip bones jutted out and held them up. The denim sagged around my skeletal body. I can see it in hind sight. The emaciated girl in those photos is a stranger to me. Even then I though I was fat. Always with 5-10 pounds to loose. Not sure where now.
　
That was then. This is now.
　
Ana does not go away. She is always there. Her voice louder at times and quiet others. Right now she is screaming in my ears. Every bite of food that enters my mouth is a source of guilt. Every ounce of fat on my body is a reason to call myself a failure.
Hunger feels good. It is the feeling of success. It means that I have hidden ana from my family. No one knows I have skipped a meal. They don’t realize that I haven’t eaten in two day.
　
Problem is, I am married to Dragon. Or…. Would that be a good thing? He never overlooks skipped meals. He knows when I haven’t eaten. He knows my tricks at the dinner table. He stares me down until I have enough to make him happy. He will let me enjoy freedom for a few days but when I start getting dizzy and sick, he puts it to a stop every time.
　
He always realizes Ana is shouting before I do. He won’t tell me how he recognizes her and he doesn’t openly acknowledge that I am having food issues again. He fixes my plate. He prepares food he knows I will eat. I hear praise every second of the day. He tells me that I am beautiful and sexy.
　
Where would I be without him? Truthfully I don’t know. Probably in some hospital getting nutrition in an IV bag or NG tube. He makes sure I eat. When he has to be away from home, my weight drops like a rock and feel like a million bucks…. Until he gets home and I see the hurt in his eyes. Then all I feel is shame that I can’t be perfect no matter what I do.
　
I keep trying. I keep living. Pushing on every day. Today I had breakfast for the first time this week and I will probably have lunch too. My body won’t know to react. All that food in one day? I hope I can keep it down. I hate getting sick in public restrooms but my tummy just won’t hold much food anymore. It is like a gastric bypass without the surgery. That is what nearly 20 years of Ana will do to you.
　
Dragon will watch after me. He will make sure I get just enough to eat. He will keep my weight going in the direction he wants it to go. No worries from my friends in blog land. I will not get my way on this. Ana’s voice will slowly grow quiet again.

What to tell your Doctor

Ooops! ! ! You have a mark or two or three from a session and need to go to the Doctor.
　
No, it can’t wait. You have to go today and he will see those colorful marks all over your backside.
　
OH NO! ! ! TIME TO PANIC ! ! !
　
Not necessarily. Slow down. Take a deep breath. You can do this.
　
You have a few options.
　
The first is human nature. Don’t say anything.
　
What is going to happen? He is going to question you and his nurse will give you phone numbers for crisis hot lines and the local women’s shelter.
　
Nope. I don’t like that one at all. Now my Doctor thinks I am a battered wife and my husband will get dirty looks every time we walk in the door. That is best case scenario. Worst case? An anonymous call to the police. I don’t want to be questioned by the police about my lifestyle or what we do in the privacy of our bedroom. Nor do I want to try to explain it to the judge.
　
Or…… you could tell him the full truth.
　
Hey doc, we practice DD. My husband spanks me when I break one of our household rules. I consent to this lifestyle and can end it at any time. Last time he spanked me, he left a nice hand print on my backside. Just didn’t want you to worry about it.
　
Now that could get nasty. You are going to get the women’s lib lecture and a few phone numbers. You may even end up talking to a social worker before you leave your appointment.
　
A better option? Partial honesty.
　
Hey doc, I am into an alternative lifestyle thing and there are few marks on my ass. They were consensual and I had fun getting them. Just thought you should know before you got the wrong idea about things.
　
No, they weren’t really fun but the doctor doesn’t need to know EVERYTHING. He now has just enough information to know that you are not a battered wife. In fact, he is going to think you are kinky whether or not you really are. And you won’t have to deal with all those phone numbers and pamphlets or a visit from the police.

Partial honesty has worked for me a few times. No questions. No awkward moments.
　
What works for you?

Money Matters

Years ago my sweet dependable Dragon wasn’t so good at managing money. He liked to spend money he didn’t have. I had so little and he wanted to give me the world. He replaced my old fuse box for a breaker box, bought me a stove that worked, new clothes, groceries. You name it. If I needed it, he was right there with his wallet out.

Problem is, his generosity left his bank account over drawn. We weren’t married. We weren’t even engaged but I took over. We opened a joint savings account. I withdrew enough to pay his bills and part of my power bills. His spending money was left in the savings account to spend how ever he wanted.

It worked!

One year after we started dating, we eloped. I added him to my checking account and got him an ATM card. ATM machines were just starting to pop up. You could find them around banks and maybe at the mall. With in two months I realized that wasn’t going to work. It took all the courage I had to put my had out for the card. I cut it up and he didn’t get it back.

Over 10 years latter and several major moves latter, I got tired of the hassle and the fight. Every trip to the store I had to convince him that we didn’t have enough to buy everything we needed or wanted. Yes, we have $300 in savings but we need that for car insurance. Yes, we have $1000 but rent is due next week.

What did I do? I gave him the passwords and the check book. Handed him a pile of bills and a bank balance too low to pay half of them. He learned fast and hard that those bills have to be paid. We didn’t have as much money as he thought we did. That paycheck didn’t go as far as he thought it should.

Now I live relatively stress free when it comes to our finances. He takes care of it. I ask before I spend and he makes sure we have what we need. It turned out that he just needed a few years of family life to figure this money thing out. To learn that you have to save for the things you want.

At the beginning of our marriage, I had to take on more of a leadership role that I wanted to. It was necessary but as time passed, I gladly slipped out of the drivers seat. He holds the keys now and I can breath a sigh of relief.

Prayer

　
When my Dragon is far away, I pray for him. When he is having a hard time, I pray for him. When our relationship needs a little work, I pray for him.
　
See a theme there? Prayer helps us both cope with the hard times life throws our way. Sometimes I don’t know where to start. I feel a little lost myself and don’t even know where to begin. That is when I turn to a book written by Stormy Omartian. “The Power of a Praying Wife”

The first day is, “Praying for his Wife.” It talks about what you can change and what can’t. Where you as a wife can make your relationship better. Every day has a new topic. A new area of life to pray about.

http://www.amazon.com/Power-Praying-Wife-Stormie-Omartian/dp/0736919244/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_1#_

Confession time latter.  Maybe.  I told someone on another blog, in a relpy.  Maybe.  Right now I just want to share a book that helped me cope with the issue and simply life.  Post 9/11 has been hard on my family and this year, life has been even harder.  The power of a prayig wife has helped more than anything esle ever has.