Yep, she hates me

The M-I-L that is but you know what?  I don't care.  A few times she would stop talking mid word.  She was about to get ugly.  I was surprised that she stopped until I looked up and saw the look my F-I-L just gave her. She learned this trip that Dragon has PTSD.  Not sure how she took that.  But now she knows why her son is so different.

I have had time to adjust to the changes as they have happened over the years.  She never gave him the chance.  Blamed me, got mad and closed the door to any contact with us.  The changes in Dragon weren't sudden.  A baby died in his care.  Bombs exploding Christmas day.  A car accident that decapitates 4 people.  These things changed him in ways I have a hard time understanding.  It hasn't been easy for me and he talks to me a little.  He hasn't shared any of this with anyone else.  I am his sounding board, his therapist, his lover and friend.  How can we expect her to accept the changes when she doesn't understand the why.

Now she knows the why.

Now we wait and see what she does with the information.

Last night was their last night in town.  We went out to dinner.  Mexican.  I can't eat Mexican food at all.  I am allergic to the main ingredients.  So, I watched them eat.  My pregnant niece started having problems and we left most of the food on the table.  Dragon drove her to the nearest hospital.  I met them there with tears in my eyes and my head bowed in prayer.  This little girl doesn't need any more heart ache.  She has already lost one baby.  Her first baby died 5 hours after she was born.  We left the hospital around midnight to get our own children in bed.

The inlaws are headed home now and my niece is still in the hospital.  The baby looks fine for now but they wanted to make sure.  This has been an emotional week.  I look forward to waking up Monday and hope to find our new normal sometime soon.

I made a few more discoveries.  My younger S-I-L is balemic and the older is Ana.  Guess I am in good company.  They didn't say anything but I heard the younger one perging.  Kinda obvious.  She is the same age I am but looks 10 years older.  I could only feel pity for her.  Divorced, bitter and dealing with ED alone.  Dragon told me that the older one is Ana.  I see it now.  And they now know that I am Ana.  It felt good to finally admit it to someone other than Dragon.

Time to get ready to go.  I want to check on my niece and we are taking them dinner.  BBQ and pecan pie. Yummy.

ps.  Dragon said that I behaved myself and that I will be rewarded!  OHHHH I look forward to that.  After this, I need some good stress relief.