Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Truth or a pretty lie?

It is hard to tell with Dragon.

Soon his family will arrive for a very special occasion.  Graduation!  How exciting.

The events leading up to it have been the problem.  I probably need to start with a time line.  It has been the usual crap that happens with his family.

1. He forgot to put his mothers name on the invitation sent to his mother and father.  oops
(innocent mistake gets blown way out of proportion by his mother)
2. Finger pointing, dredging up every little misdeed for the last 15 years by his mother.
3. Dragon lies.  Makes up an entirely fabricated chain of events.
4. Discover his mother has made reservations at a local hotel.  She refuses to stay at our house.
(relief on my part but hurt too.)
5. Discover that his sisters will also be staying at the hotel.
(guess I'm not good enough for them either)
6. Today Dragon tells me that they are staying in the hotel at their mothers expense.  Mooching off mom?
(his sisters will be staying an extra day to visit with us.  I have no idea whether or not they will be staying in the hotel for that night or now.  He forgot to ask.)
7. ???Is this the truth or another pretty lie???

I never know with him.

His mother blames me for everything.  All of our marital problems are my fault.  Our financial issues are my fault.  (we don't tell people when we are having problems so I really don't know what she thinks she knows.)  His personality changes are my fault.

Ummm lady?  Don't you think 20 years with of growing up and raising a family should cause a few changes?  I am very happy he has changed in some ways.  The checking account is never overdrawn anymore.  This is a great change.  Bills get paid on time.  Another great change.

I am also blamed for his symptoms of PTSD.  Shhh.  That is something else we haven't shared.  His problems with PTSD over the years or our close calls with divorce caused by it.  We haven't told them about his volatile temper, manic episodes or deep bouts with depression.  We thought it was better to keep these things private and not hand the news over to the gossip mill.  Some things are better kept private.

She has seen me grieving for my 4th miscarriage.   She called me lazy and told me to get over it.  And apparently postpartum depression isn't a big deal either.  All that matters is how I hurt her son.  She doesn't see my pain or that he may be grieving  for our lost babies too.

And now I am back to my original question.  Truth?  or Pretty lie?

I am hoping for truth.  Meaning?  When I call him on the carpet I hope he tells me truth this time.  Whether or not #6 was the truth or not.  Wish me luck.

A relationship based on lies is not a relationship at all.  This breaks my heart.


  1. TRUTH! ! ! Happy me. Truth on Dragons part anyway.

  2. {{{hugs}}} I'm glad that your faith was reaffirmed.

    1. I didn't think he would pull something like that on me but I had to make sure. I am a very happy lady. Now I need to find out if I have to find beds for three guests.

  3. You must feel so good that you got the truth from Dragon.


    1. I am! That is one less worry on my mind. I know his mom hates me but I had thought his sisters were a little more fair. I was right.

  4. Oh good...I was all concerned. Families are hard. Sure hope that you find some redemptive moments through their visit.

  5. In-laws! If only we could get our men without the rest, but I suspect they would say something similar about our side, so I don't say anything.

    Sounds like it worked out, so I am happy!