The first time I tried to bring domestic discipline into our relationship I was not submissive at all. I wanted to be a submissive wife. I wanted to have a biblical marriage. The problem was me. I had no idea how that should look. I thought as HOH he should make me submit. That it was all on his shoulders. I would brat to try to get him to step up and tell me NO! It didn’t work that way at all.
I heard women at the church talk about being a submissive wife. They would include things that did not interfere with their feminist world view. They would say that submitting to your husband does not mean you have to obey him. That marriage is an equal partnership. I didn’t understand. How can this be submitting? It doesn’t look any different than what I have been doing. Hmmm. So what is this thing the Bible is talking about?
“Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord,” So how do I submit to my husband without obeying him? It took me a little while to discover that they were trying to make the Word of God fit their own idea of what it should say. “submit to your own husbands a to the Lord” Hmmm. had to think on that one for a while.
Definition of SUBMISSION
1: a legal agreement to submit to the decision of arbitrators b: an act of submitting to something (as for consideration or inspection); also : something submitted (as a manuscript) 2: the condition of being submissive, humble, or compliant 3: an act of submitting to the authority or control of another Synonyms: compliance, conformity, obedience, subordination
#1 didn’t seem to apply. #2 and 3? Oh no! To submit means to obey. But what about those ladies at church? Are they wrong?
I decided to try to be an obedient, submissive wife. I wanted to lead my life the way God intended me to. Still, I had no idea how this should look. It didn’t take me long to discover that submitting is an action on my part and a condition of my own heart. He can’t make me submit or demand it. I have to do it because it is right and because I love him.
Step by step I began to give up the control I valued so very much. I learned how to obey him in small ways at first. I began to notice a change in our relationship. We didn’t argue as much. We were both happier and more content. He was more thoughtful toward my wishes and needs. I was more considerate to him. It wasn’t always easy but the payoff was huge.
Figure that. God had it right in the Bible. God doesn’t need a bunch of church ladies telling him what a submissive wife should look like. He knows. He even put it in the Miriam Webster’s dictionary to help me understand.
My husband has the authority to discipline me. Is that his tool to make me submit to him? No. Submitting to him is my job. His job is to present me to the Lord, blameless. DD is the tool given to him to accomplish his task.
I heard women at the church talk about being a submissive wife. They would include things that did not interfere with their feminist world view. They would say that submitting to your husband does not mean you have to obey him. That marriage is an equal partnership. I didn’t understand. How can this be submitting? It doesn’t look any different than what I have been doing. Hmmm. So what is this thing the Bible is talking about?
“Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord,” So how do I submit to my husband without obeying him? It took me a little while to discover that they were trying to make the Word of God fit their own idea of what it should say. “submit to your own husbands a to the Lord” Hmmm. had to think on that one for a while.
Definition of SUBMISSION
1: a legal agreement to submit to the decision of arbitrators b: an act of submitting to something (as for consideration or inspection); also : something submitted (as a manuscript) 2: the condition of being submissive, humble, or compliant 3: an act of submitting to the authority or control of another Synonyms: compliance, conformity, obedience, subordination
#1 didn’t seem to apply. #2 and 3? Oh no! To submit means to obey. But what about those ladies at church? Are they wrong?
I decided to try to be an obedient, submissive wife. I wanted to lead my life the way God intended me to. Still, I had no idea how this should look. It didn’t take me long to discover that submitting is an action on my part and a condition of my own heart. He can’t make me submit or demand it. I have to do it because it is right and because I love him.
Step by step I began to give up the control I valued so very much. I learned how to obey him in small ways at first. I began to notice a change in our relationship. We didn’t argue as much. We were both happier and more content. He was more thoughtful toward my wishes and needs. I was more considerate to him. It wasn’t always easy but the payoff was huge.
Figure that. God had it right in the Bible. God doesn’t need a bunch of church ladies telling him what a submissive wife should look like. He knows. He even put it in the Miriam Webster’s dictionary to help me understand.
My husband has the authority to discipline me. Is that his tool to make me submit to him? No. Submitting to him is my job. His job is to present me to the Lord, blameless. DD is the tool given to him to accomplish his task.
I have always believed that the moment a bride says; "I do", the altar, it is the bridegroom's duty, to raise her wedding gown waist high, take down her silk panties, and spank that bare bottom, blushing red. These spanking reminders, should be given to a wife, each day of their marriage, as a reminder that the husband is head of the household. So be it.
ReplyDelete@sixofthe best. I disagree, I believe there is a fine line between Discipline and Abuse. From the start the Husband has the responsibility of creating family discipline and stepping up as HOH; I do not contest this. The direction to that discipline needs to be tailored to each individual marriage. I my case had I immediately went to spanking my wife, I would not have a wife today! She would have either left me or committed suicide. If she didn’t do either of those the she would be submissive by force, which is not the way I interpret the Bible. I have not seen any where in any translation where the bible says Men (Husbands) make your wife submit to you. Now she is Submissive by choice, as I have submitted to Christ by Choice. If I were to spank my children everyday Just because, that would be child abuse. Given I do give maintenance spanking to my wife, there is consensual communication with that.
ReplyDeletethat was very good.. about a month before i even introduced cdd to Tyler i had already started being submissive....since i started submitting and we started ttwd there has probably been 2x in the past 3months that i earned a spanking for being disrespectful..its not out of fear that i submit its out of loving God and wanting his desires for my life..one of his desires for me is to submit to my husband... Had my husband said on our wedding nite "i am hoh and i have final say and i expect u to listen or i will spank you..I'm sure i would've tried the line but boy what a happier marriage
ReplyDeleteI can't say that I have arrived, but you sound so much like me when I began to want DD. The only direction our marriage could go was up, something was missing and I wanted it. The world thinks it knows what brings fulfillment in life, but God knows better.
ReplyDeleteI took the same steps. I got out my dictionary, search submit, obey, and researched words so that I could understand his oblilgation to me. RULE means RULE. I think that is sometimes hard for the men, too. But God in His infinite wisdom knew what we needed.
Our marriage unity has grown in leaps and bounds since I started submitting 9 months ago, and through TTWD I look forward to seeing where we are in a year from now.
Thanks for sharing, I so totally relate to your experience here.
Kady
My Dragon knows his wife. When we met I was submissive out of fear. I was afraid of every thing. He had to teach me how to be assertive. How to stand up for myself. Then I had to learn how to submit to him and only him.
ReplyDeleteDaisy
You are so right. We don’t submit to the authority of God out of fear. We shouldn’t be submitting to our husbands out of fear either. It is a act of love. But I do have to admit, fear of that paddle does mold my behavior at times.
Kady
I still have a hard time with those words submit and obey. I am still a work in progress. I could relate to you post about thanksgiving. I think when we go visit family we will have to find a few moments of privacy to help me keep a civil tongue.
The lj is not as quiet as I had hoped but it does pack a sting. He decided I needed a reminder this morning and left my backside rosy red. In the house wares department at any store we go to, he loves to pick up items that he could use on my backside. I think he loves to see my red upper cheeks when he explains just what he wants to use that big wooden spoon for. EEKKK. Yep. He has my backside well in hand.
Missie