I have tried several times to write about how BDSM fits into my life. It has proven too hard. For us it is truly a life style. We live it 24/7. In a way, it defines our relationship. We were D/s long before we accepted the label. I can’t even tell you when it started. Gradually over time we have incorporated it into our lives. It brings us closer together. It builds trust, confidence and self esteem all at the same time. I wish I could say that CDD fits into our lives the same way but it doesn’t. Not yet. It is part of the natural progression of our relationship but we are just beginning to figure it out.
I have read how others outside of BDSM view it and I was shocked. They had it all wrong. It isn’t all play pretend. I don’t play at being submissive to my husband. The protocol is very real. I stand just in front of him with my hands folded behind my back. We both expect the other to behave within this framework.
When one of us steps out of it, it is questioned. It is so easy for both of us that most people don’t even see it. Some have questioned whether we are D/s or not. It blends that smoothly into every day life.
Another question I have came across is how an erotic spanking differs from punishment. Is night different from day? How do you feel when your boss tells you about your new promotion and raise? Fantastic! Great! How do you feel when your boss tells you that you are fired? Your heart sinks to your feet. That is just how different they are. Yes, it is possible for me to enjoy erotic impact play and for punishment to be just that. Punishment.
An erotic spanking or flogging starts out very slow and easy. Soft little paddy pats. The force builds slower than slow over time. At first I am purring under the gentile impact. As the force builds, it becomes hard to take but the reward will come. Muscles tense. Force continues to increase. My body starts to shake. A small squeak escapes my mouth at every blow. I am in heaven. It feels like a rain of leather across my back. When I have reached the point of surrender, lotion is smoothed across the raw burning skin. He holds me until I begin to float back up to reality. No play pretend here. The marks across my back are very real and so is the bond forged between me and my husband.
“I am disappointed, you forgot.” My heart stops beating as I absorb what Dragon just said.
When I hear those words, I know I forgot something important. At the first opportunity for privacy the consequences are handed down. He explains in detail what went wrong and why I am being punished for it. Panties are pushed down to expose the target. He places me in his position of choice. Very little warm up. The paddle falls hard on my backside without his caress to ease the sting. I cannot stay still. The only thing on my mind is to avoid that hateful paddle. Tears sting my eyes. I know by the sting, how much I hurt him. Slowly I surrender. Acceptance. At last it is over. He holds me in his arms and tells me how much he loves me. After I have had time to recover, I am expected to continue with my day as if nothing happened.
What is the difference between pleasure and shame? Do you really need to ask?
I have read how others outside of BDSM view it and I was shocked. They had it all wrong. It isn’t all play pretend. I don’t play at being submissive to my husband. The protocol is very real. I stand just in front of him with my hands folded behind my back. We both expect the other to behave within this framework.
When one of us steps out of it, it is questioned. It is so easy for both of us that most people don’t even see it. Some have questioned whether we are D/s or not. It blends that smoothly into every day life.
Another question I have came across is how an erotic spanking differs from punishment. Is night different from day? How do you feel when your boss tells you about your new promotion and raise? Fantastic! Great! How do you feel when your boss tells you that you are fired? Your heart sinks to your feet. That is just how different they are. Yes, it is possible for me to enjoy erotic impact play and for punishment to be just that. Punishment.
An erotic spanking or flogging starts out very slow and easy. Soft little paddy pats. The force builds slower than slow over time. At first I am purring under the gentile impact. As the force builds, it becomes hard to take but the reward will come. Muscles tense. Force continues to increase. My body starts to shake. A small squeak escapes my mouth at every blow. I am in heaven. It feels like a rain of leather across my back. When I have reached the point of surrender, lotion is smoothed across the raw burning skin. He holds me until I begin to float back up to reality. No play pretend here. The marks across my back are very real and so is the bond forged between me and my husband.
“I am disappointed, you forgot.” My heart stops beating as I absorb what Dragon just said.
When I hear those words, I know I forgot something important. At the first opportunity for privacy the consequences are handed down. He explains in detail what went wrong and why I am being punished for it. Panties are pushed down to expose the target. He places me in his position of choice. Very little warm up. The paddle falls hard on my backside without his caress to ease the sting. I cannot stay still. The only thing on my mind is to avoid that hateful paddle. Tears sting my eyes. I know by the sting, how much I hurt him. Slowly I surrender. Acceptance. At last it is over. He holds me in his arms and tells me how much he loves me. After I have had time to recover, I am expected to continue with my day as if nothing happened.
What is the difference between pleasure and shame? Do you really need to ask?
Of Note: Now that a few months have passed, I see that D/s, BSDM and DD are simply labels. Simple labels on something much more complicated. Are we D/s? DD? or simply a loving husband and wife making the best of a messed up world. People judge the label not the person. It isn't even a persons place to make that judgement. That duty belongs to God. for the bible beaters out there who want to judge me by a lable refer to the bible. Matthew 7:1, yes. I know what it says. Do you?
i love bdsm games too.
ReplyDeleteD/s isn't about games. It as about growning and about connection to my Dragon. It is his tool to teach me how to be submissive, obedient, self-confident and how to accept my imperfect body.
ReplyDelete