Christmas seems to bring out the worst in me. I can't seem to find a gracious bone in my body when it comes to extended family. A few years ago my SIL had two mortgages and couldn't afford Christmas presents for her one child. This was several years after her husband separated from the military and before the divorce. The entire family rallied around them and purchased gifts for the pregnant teen.
Fast forward a few years. We have a mortgage and rent. Sometimes bills don't get payed on time. One will wait a few weeks to keep the power on or fill the the propane tank. The house is sold but we still payed the payment this month. Now Jan 1 we won't owe that payment but we will have to repair our credit. That will take time. I am not sure how long it will stay on our credit history.
We have one more pay check between now and Christmas and not enough money to fill the propane tank. Since we heat our water and house with it, it is a necessity. Buy gas or make sure the kids get a few necessities for Christmas. They usually get 3 decent gifts from Santa. One big thing and two smaller gifts with a stocking stuffed with nick-nacks and batteries. Wrapped under the tree they get necessities. A new outfit, pajamas, socks and underwear.
This year they each have just one gift. Not a big deal right? They are all old enough to understand mom and dad are a little short on cash this year. Right? My mom will be sending $50 each. That will get the a gift or two to unwrap from my mom. That will help a LOT but how about the rest of the family? Where are they? Are they offering to help out? Giving up anything for my kids? Nope. I get a pat on the head and told to pray about it. Ok done that. Now what?
Did you see that green bug that just bit me in the butt? I did. It is a jealous bug. They care more about SIL and her daughter than they do my kids. OK. I'll admit it. It makes me down right ANGRY. You insist on drawing names in a year we can't even afford to get our own kids gifts and then don't offer to help at all? In the mean time, his mother is in a snit again. Dragon didn't get her birthday card in the mail on time. That mandatory yearly, I LOVE YOU sent out of obligation.
I have decided I am the Grinch this year. I hate mandatory gift giving and card sending. Too many feeling hurt and I can feel my own heart growing hard.
I am so disappointed in myself. I am the one in the wrong here and I know it.
I'll work on that.