I got this question as an anonymous reply to "spanked to tears"
girls help me out here i want my hoh to spank to tears becouse i cheated 5 times ! i feel so guilty that i know i need a severe spanking but when i ask they say i forgive you and could not bear to spank you to tears how do i get them mad enough to spank me to tears
Sorry, dear ano but you miss the point of DD. You don't make your husband "DO" anything. This lifestyle is about submitting to him in the natural order of marriage. It helps open up communication and brings you both closer.
You say you cheated more than once. I would say that you aren't committed to your relationship and have bigger problems than DD can solve. He can't spank thank kind of guilt away. You deserve to wallow in whatever you are feeling. You don't deserve a spanking, you deserve a divorce. Be grateful for the mercy he is showing you and get some counseling. Preferably with your spouse.
To anyone out there wanting to be spanked. NEVER. Did I shout that? Yes I did. NEVER try to get your husband mad enough to spank you. Spanking out of anger is ALWAYS a bad thing and can lead to abuse and get your hurt. Spanking should always be done out of love and respect.
This concludes this edition of Dear Abby, the DD way!
Hey Rose, You are so right - a spanking due to 'pushed to anger' is never, ever a good thing for either party.
ReplyDelete@Anon - DD is a tool for couples to use to enhance and strengthen their marriage, it is not a one-stop fix-all. Cheating 5 TIMES? Good grief - are you sure you want to be married? Rose is right, you really need counseling.
Thank you. Perfect. Wow.
ReplyDeleteWell, she got spanked now!
ReplyDeleteBut you are right of course.
Spanking is not healthy without a firmly based relationship.
Bas, are you saying I was a bit harsh? She cheated 5 times! Not once but FIVE!
DeleteEhhh, Yes, that's what I was implying.
DeleteBut I didn't imply that she didn't deserve it.
I absolutely agree with you being harsh.
I cannot see any connection between TTWD, which needs absolute trust, and repeated cheating.
She is really at the wrong address.
*claps for Rose & Cat* Very well said, all of it...yes, having been the cheatee (before Ward, of course), the cheater does not deserve what they have.
ReplyDeletethank you for answering my cheating question
ReplyDeleteGood advice that spanking out of anger is not a good idea. But I think there are two issues here. The first is she has to decide if she is committed to her marriage.
ReplyDeleteIf she is and stops cheating, then she needs to have a conversation with her HOH and explain that she likes to be spanked and he can make her happy by spanking her.
She has to stop talking about getting her HOH mad enough to spank her and tell him he can show his love for her by spanking her.
FD
I hope she comes back and reads this and then starts reading around some more to understand. There's hope for every marriage but it sure does take some hard work!
ReplyDeleteI think maybe your last line should have read, "Dear Abby, the Dragon's Rose way" :)
I know that my reaction to her question may have sounded harsh. But cheating has long lasting effects. Not just on the current relationship but on future relationships too. Trust is broken and no matter what you do, it will never be the same.
ReplyDeleteHow do I know? I was married before but I won't call him a husband. He never was a husband to me. His string of girlfriends were all more important to him than his marriage. I think in hind sight that he regrets it but for me it is way too late. When he decided he really did want a wife, I had already move on with my life. Dragon had earned a place of trust in my life.