Thursday, February 16, 2012

What if?

I want to play a game of  "What if"  today.

What if....  TTWD ended today?

In all honesty, it wouldn't make that big of a difference.  If we burned the paddle in the grill outside not much would change at all.  You see, Dragon was the Head of His Household before we ever knew what those words were.  Even when I thought I was in charge, I wasn't.  He always listens to me and there have been a few times I have had to put my foot down but not often.  In our 18 year relationship, he has been the leader most of that time.  It is hard to lead every day, especially when you are out of town.

His word would still be law.  Our marriage would still be based on the Biblical model.  The only difference is that he would no long spank me.  Since we both like erotic spanking, I doubt it would go away forever.  The erotic fun kind would stay but punishment would be a thing of the past.

What if.... TTWD went my way?

Oh boy oh boy.  I would be a nervous wreck! ! !   I would have a list of rules that had to be strictly followed and no way could I step out of line even just a little.  Life would go back to what I knew as a child with one exception.  This time I would know the rules.  Punishment would probably happen every day.  I wouldn't be submitting to him, wish is a voluntary act.  I would be obeying his command.  Two separate concepts.

As it stands, I am punished infrequently.  When he says back off and I continue to push forward.  When the "F" bomb is dropped for any reason.  Nasty habit I have almost broken.  Most of our rules are more like Guide lines.  Nothing really written in stone.  There is flexibility for him and for me too.

Is there anything I would like to change?  You bet!  It is called growth! ! !  As soon as a relationship stops growing, it begins to die.  We talk, communicate, learn and grow every day.  Big changes in our relationship happen slowly over time.  We don't even notice it happens so gradually.  That is just as it should be.  What would I change today?  Can't think of one single big thing.  Yes, I would like to loose some weight and have his help in breaking my depression.  That will come in time.  Dragons time.


  1. Maybe you could just ask for some help with thow two things, if you feel they are needed? Sara

  2. Interesting that he's been the HOH all along, even before ttwd was a part of the mix. I agree with Sara, what about asking him for some help in those areas?

  3. I so identify with this, Musicman was also the HOH at our house even before we knew what that was.

  4. Sara, he is helping me with those things. In his way and thankfully NOT mine. He said I didn't get where I am in a day and I won't get out of it in a day. Love my man.

    Grace, I don't know how or why it happened that way, it just did. Love my man.

    faerie, I guess some men are natural born leaders.

    Thanks for stopping by! ! !

  5. Enjoyed this! Yes, even in just a bit over a year, punishment is becoming more and more infrequent and I am all up for that. B/c it has become a way of life for us...and for looks like we will always have strong men who in their own way help us along with the hard stuff.