This post was inspired by Bonnies question and Valentines day! ! !
Is spanking romantic? Yes and No...
Erotic spanking or flogging is always romantic. The flogger tails feel like leather rain across my back, falling over and over again. It is a deep tissue massage that feels like heaven. We don't always end up having sex but the love making is HOT. He doesn't often use spanking erotically anymore. I have a hard time separating a punishment spanking from erotic now, so paddling s rare. If he uses his hand at all, it is only a few quick swots to make me feel the sting. And yes, that is very erotic, domineering and romantic all at the same time.
Maintenance or as we call it stress relief usually ends in us making love. The sessions can almost be erotic. They can be harsher than a punishment or more gentile than an erotic spanking. Lots of touching, caressing and words of love. My man being strong and in control is very sexy and romantic. And I think the sting of paddle is too. If we don't end the session with love making, we both end up frustrated and miserable.
For punishment, we are both nervous. I am afraid and hesitant. He gets to the point. No long drawn out lecture. He says what he needs to say to make sure we both know why we are there. Reassurance of his love and my safety come next. Then my bottom is bared, he places me in position and the spanking begins. It is never very harsh. No warm up. Strait to business and over quickly.
I have to admit that that I don't find it very romantic at all. I feel many things but romance isn't one of them when I am being punished. Sometimes, I end up in his arms as soon as the deed is done. Other times I need a little space to get my head around what just happened. He gives me what I need. If I am still angry, round two begins. There is always a recovery period for both of us.
Now the reconnection phase of a punishment is something else all together. After I have had a chance to calm down I end up in his arms, feeling very submissive. For some unknown reason, he finds this very sexy. I feel safe in his arms, protected and completely his. This is where the romance begins. Sex? Maybe but maybe not. We make love and make up in each others arms. We do what comes natural. Making love is not always about having sex. It is about being together and loving each other. And yes, this part of punishment is very romantic.
So you see the yes and no about romance? Spanking ends in romance but doesn't always start that way. TTWD brings us closer, forces us to communicate and makes our time together more pleasant. Fights no longer come between us. Hurt feelings lasts for hours, not for days. There is more room in our relationship for things like romance.
We didn't have a bad marriage before TTWD but it is so much better with it. I wouldn't want to go back to the way it was. As long as erotic spankings happen more often than punishments, we are one the right track.
Ps, maybe next time I have tiger strips, I'll get Dragon to snap a photo of my back for your enjoyment. Love my tiger stripes.