We started out with the 4 Ds. Simple and it is still that simple. But how can four little words be so complicated? EVERYTHING falls under the 4 Ds, doesn't it?
Disobedience... Big one. Small things like make the bed everyday, dress nice, wear my hair down, don't run away when we have fight, eat. WOW. So many little things but it all comes back to the word obey.
Disrespect... Oh I am good at this one. Slamming the door when I am mad. Walking out on a fight so I can have the last word... Yep.
Dishonesty... Not a huge one here. I hate being lied to and don't make it a habit to lie. Although I am very good at making it sound like I am busy when I have been in a depressed funk all day. Not sure when Dragon is going to call me out on this one.
Dangerous... The seat belt is the biggest "dangerous" rule we have. I need the threat of the paddle to remember it every time I get in the car. Eating also falls under this heading. It is dangerous not to eat. I get dizzy when I don't eat and that is dangerous.
Distance... A fifth D some couples add has not been an issue with us. After a punishment he lets me come to him. Sometimes I want to be in his arms for a long cuddle. More often, I want to retire to my corner to understand the emotions swirling around in my head. Either one is ok with him. Now pouting is not ok at all. If I stay mad about anything longer than absolutely necessary another more serious punishment is going to happen.
When we were first figuring things out, we made it up as we went along. He never spanked me for the first offence. He saw a need for a new rule, we talked about it and then he enforced it. We both made sure that every rule was fair to both of us. He doesn't have the wish or the time to micromanage my day. I wouldn't want him to.
Yes, we are still adding to the Ds. As we grow and our lives change, new challenges present themselves to us. Nothing is written in stone.
parting thoughts- Every fight, every rule broken does not lead to a punishment. Sometimes I get a stern look from Dragon, other times I get a firm talking to. The paddle is reserved for only the worst and most often repeated offences. He tries to be fair and I think he succeeds.