On other blogs I read women say that it is a choice. Punishment. Whether I choose to obey or disobey is a choice. Therefore, I choose to be punished or I choose to be praised. What??? Is it really? He makes the rules as we go. When he sees something that is important to him, he makes it a rule and all rules are spank able offences.
It feel like he is really getting into the swing of things this week. Pun intended. With three new rules that he knows are hard for me. : / I want to call him a jack ass but I did ask for this. It was my idea…. Right? It doesn’t matter that he was on the verge of bring it up himself. The only thing we added were punishment spankings. He already had a few rules for me and a daily task. He put me in “time out” quiet often, though we didn’t call it that and he frequently took away privileges. Who knew we were already practicing DD?
All of my rules fall under the four Ds. Even if something isn’t a specified rule but falls under the Ds, I can be punished for it. Imagine my surprise when I realized that?
Disobedience
Join in family activities when told to
*Complete the daily task or chore
Submit to his authority and do what I am told
*I am to keep my stuff off of his side of the bed
No cussing
Act like a lady
Disrespect
Be respectful to all family members
Be respectful to others outside of our family
Do not pick a fight with the Dragon
No slamming doors or throwing objects in anger
Do not walk away with an issue unresolved
And the forever popular…. don’t’ whine
Dishonesty
This one is not a huge issue but I do get in trouble for it
I lie about the task of the day getting done promply
I lie about getting out of bed on time
I lie about taking my asthma meds
I hide my level of pain (this one gets me in the most trouble)
Dangerous
Seat belt use
*Taking my asthma meds on time
I must go to bed at a reasonable hour
I must eat 3 meals a day or 6 snacks
(*new this week)
As I look at my list of rules, I am shamed that these rules are needed but a little proud too. Why? Even with so many rules made out of necessity, he doesn’t have to spank me very often. The weekly reminders are getting harsh because I have a hard time getting out of bed. Depression is hard to fight. He fights it with the paddle on my backside. When it looks like I am slipping he has a reminder session. Wowchy. Those are the ones he has to hold me down for. It is impossible to stay still with that much pain being inflicted on my poor backside. Since he has increased the severity of the weekly sessions, I know I don’t want to see what he in mind for punishment.
Some how It feels like Dragon has really stepped up to the plate in the last month. He hasn’t punished me but I work very hard to avoid it. I hate the paddle when it is used that way. I hate the way I feel. The shame, anger and hurt. It is a flood of negative emotions before I get back to that submissive, happy place. I hate the hurt look on his face. That determined look to do what needs to be done. I hate being told to drop my pants, bare my backside and get into position for punishment. It is shameful and humiliating. Did I mention that it hurt? That paddle striking my backside repeatedly really, really hurts. Nothing erotic or sexy about it.
I know it all sounds horrible. Believe me. Punishment is. But knowing that my man cares enough to do it makes me feel loved. TTWD has brought harmony to our home. Something that was never there before. Even though we have always had rules and accountability, this new level makes it real. The consequences can not be ignored. He isn’t overly strict but does expect my complete obedience. Dragon isn’t a controlling man. I am allowed to be my own person. I’m not a door mat, a slave or a chess pieces. He simply expects me to follow the household rules. That is reasonable.
So why do I feel like such a brat this week? Rebellious and defiant? Shhh don’t tell him. I am working hart to be obedient even though I don’t want to do it. With three new rules just this week, I don't think this is going to end anytime soon.
Every get the feeling that your HOH is looking for a reason to wear your tail out? Yep. I got that feeling right now.
Today’s task is done. The grass is cut and a load of laundry is washing. I have a pattern for a Victorian costume but haven’t done anything with it yet. The corset is made but not the rest of the undergarments or the dress. I bet I can get the chamis and pantaloons cut out today. A thought. Hmmmm
ReplyDeleteI did break a rule. Forgot my morning dose of asthma meds.
Oh no! Did you really forget your meds? So do you confess or break another rule? LOL
ReplyDeleteWe don't have a lot of rules. I think it's because he wants full reign to do just what you said...find stuff to have a reason to wear my tail out!!!
Hmmmm...looks like you may need to hire an assistant! LOL
Kelly
that was a really great post - i enjoyed it immensley and has me thinking.
ReplyDeleteId like us to set some rules for me, not something i have broached with him yet. How do you approach the subject of rules? I think i might blog about it tomorrow and ask the question...
thanks again Little Missie's rose xxx
CG Yes I forgot even after blogging about forgetting. Evening meds are easy but I just can’t seem to get it right in the morning. I hope HE forgets to ask.
ReplyDeleteKiwi We started with the 4 Ds as a starting point. I didn’t make the rules. He did. Slowly. One at a time he added them. The very first one, cussing. For the first time in my life I had a filthy mouth. I asked for his help and we began our DD journey. The rule he added yesterday is a harmless pet peeve of his. I like to read and have a snack in the afternoons. I usually leave my book and trash on his side of the bed. Yep. He is ready for that to end. I remembered my trash today. Hope I don’t forget tomorrow. He means business with this one.
Hi Little Missie, yes id like him to set some rules, i have some ideas of things i would like to change - my temper tantums for one - is it ok for me to suggest? Its a bit confusing.
ReplyDeleteKeep in mind that he makes the rules. After all, you are asking to step up and be the HOH. Give up the control. My rules will not work for you. My husband made the rules to work on behaviors that bugged him, not the ones I wanted to work on. I asked for help with cussing first. After a few weeks, we talked about the 4 Ds. They are a common frame work with in the DD community. Almost every rule falls under one or more of the Ds.
ReplyDeleteIf you need help with your temper, it is absolutely appropriate to ask for help. Be prepared for him to help in unexpected ways. Men have creative minds that are very different from the female mind.
Kiwigirliegirl: May I suggest that you focus on the goals and let him come up with the rules? Just ask him for help making sure you reach those goals. He can decide how to approach that.
ReplyDeleteLittle Missie: As for remembering, this is one of the hardest things because there's nothing really in the mind to prompt things. So, you may want to use triggers in your environment.
For example, I have a place in my home to put things I need to use or take with me. This place contains everything that I need to take with me when I go to work. If I need to take something new with me, I can put it there to make sure it goes along. By having it in a standard place I'm more likely to remember it at the critical time and less likely to forget it.
I also have an organizer that beeps when I need to do things. I put a repeating reminder in it to take my vitamins, for example, every day. Most cell phones now have a calendar option. If you have one of these, learn to use it.
You can also tie the activity to something you know you will do on a regular basis. For example, if you pull your cereal out of the cupboard each morning to have breakfast, then you can put the medicine there so that you will see it when the time comes.
A minor point: I suspect that your rules probably should say that you'll take "my asthma meds" and not "me asthma meds". Now, I remembered that I need to go take a little something for my dyslexia....
Rich, my editing skills are lacking. I know. Good news. I remembered to take my meds two times yesterday. Still had a MAJOR asthma attack but there isn't much my doc can do about that. Next step is prednisone. That is not a drug I want to take.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by.
That's a tough problem, and I wish you well. I know from experience that figuring out how to deal with a medical problem is often a frustrating and time-consuming job. Good luck!
ReplyDelete