Thursday, June 9, 2011

Sex and ttwd

I have read about other couples who enjoy sex after a session. Whether it was a punishment or a regularly scheduled weekly session doesn’t seem to matter. Another chastised wife described being taken by her husband after a punishment and denying her an orgasm. Using sex as a way to further the submission of the wife.

Personally, I can’t imagine sex after a spanking of any kind. Afterward, I am physically, mentally and emotionally drained. I don’t want to be cuddled or held. I can’t lift my head to make eye contact. It is hard to describe exactly how I feel. I feel like I am in a million pieces. After a stress relief, I am relaxed and in a happy place. Not feeling sexy at all. After a punishment I am dealing with a rush of emotions. It takes time to calm my mind. After a little bit, I can reconnect physically with my husband but sex ? I’m not so sure about that.

As we grow closer, I find myself submitting in ways I never imagined. It is hard sometimes but I manage. I am still a brat and a spoiled princess. I still want it my way. Fighting the depression is a daily battle. One I lost today. I am more respectful toward him, more loving and kind. Maybe this is one of those things that has to come with time. Don’t know.

I do know one thing. I won’t be suggesting sex after a session any time soon. DD, alternative punishment, corner time, new implements, tears… These are all things I brought to his attention. Small hints have been dropped and I have found the courage to flat out ask for new things. Sex?  I brought it up a few days ago but I think that is one we will both veto. I know I won’t mention that again. No way. If he wants to bring it to ttwd, he will have to do that himself. He is a good judge of my sate of mind. He will know whether or not I can handle it, if the time comes. Trust the Dragon.

He knows me. I guess this is just one more area that I’ll have to learn how to show a little trust. Step by step. So far he has been very methodical. Not sure he has a plan but it sure feels that way to me. Stress relief sessions are getting harder. Rules and tasks are added slowly. Issues that irritate him are being addressed. One small step at a time, he is taking our relationship where he wants it to go. My Dragon is truly the Captain of his ship

Last nights spanking was not a barn burner, maintenance or stress relief. He took the computer out of my hands, removed my clothing one piece at a time and positioned me on the bed for my comfort. I was nervous until he gave me safe words to use and made me promise to use them. First he used his hand to deliver gentile pats and then the paddle. Slow and steady. Perfect.

His intent was to put me to sleep. He did.


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. Dragon strikes again with his wisdom and he is right. After a few hours I am in his arms and ready to submit it him in any way he wants. Grrr why does that man have to be right again?

  3. My HOH decides if he takes me afterwards or not. Quite often he does. I prefer not to usually, but he decides and I submit.

  4. I can usually say no. It isn't very often that he takes that away from me. Only in the last year. All he has to say is, "it would please me" and I am done.

  5. Missie, I don't prefer sex after a punishment, but after maintenance is not uncommon.

    Lets face it. You adore him. We can all tell by the way you talk about him. You are putty in his hands.

    When push comes to shove (and it will) you will submit to it. It's all a matter of time. He his becoming a strong, respectful hoh. You are very lucky.


  6. Kelly, people tell me that we look at each other with love in our eyes. I didn't know it would show when I write. Thank you. And yes, you are right. When he demands it, I will melt in his hands.