Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Steriotypes and an Angry Mom

My daughter's roommate is sometimes entertaining, always frustrating and sometimes rage inducing.

Her parents are illegal imagrants from Mexico.  I have to say that I am getting an education.  Did you know that the US stole Texas from Mexico?  Let's forget all about the Republic of Texas.  The history she learned in school can't be part of the conversation.

Americans are lazy.  I heard the same thing in Europe too.  Funny thing.  My grandparents, parents and husband are some of the hardest working people I have ever known.  And any of them will give you the shirt off their backs.

My daughter is not cultured because she was homeschooled.  Nope, she doesn't understand the local slang but get her around a bunch of military kids and she can hold her own.  Trips to art museums, the symphony and natural science exhibits.  She has lived in three different countries and visited more.  She learned WWII history standing beside the Rhine river.

Nope.  She can't be cultured.  Impossible.

I am not sure what to think right now.

My daughter barley talks to me. When she does it is to hint for a hand out.  She won't directly ask for help.  Just hints.  Nothing I do is right.  I try to tell her that the neighborhood she lives in is dangerous and I am not comfortable going there.  But I am wrong.  I offer to buy her gas and she says that she doesn't have gas money to come visit.

Excuses maybe?

I give up.

One day she will figure this out.  I'll be there for her when she does.

Sorry for venting.  I am hurting and practicing some tuff love.  She asked for money and I said no.  To many lies.  I have been walked on to much.  No more hand outs.  I'll drop off groceries when she is going hunger but I won't help with rent any more.  The last time I did she went and got her nails done. $100+ .

Enough.  Past time for her to grow up. My job is done.  I raised her and now it is time for her to stand on her own two feet.


12 comments:

  1. It will be the greatest gift you can give her - teaching her responsibility and to live on her own.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I feel like I am dropping her on her head but she had to learn. Job means money. Money pays for shelter and food. It won't hurt her to miss a few meals while she learns.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are doing the right thing. Still, it hurts. You are being a good mom. That's a tough job.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope so. She is talking to me again but needed a new phone. Her cell went for a swim. I gave her an old used one.

      Delete
  4. I"m sorry-- it always sucks to have to draw firm limits, no matter what the age of our children. (((hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It does but I am out of options. I won't be a door mat.

      Delete
  5. I know it hurts Rose...been there done that but you are giving her the best gift you can and one of these days, she will appreciate it. Sounds like she needs a better group of friends also. ;)

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes she does. Her room mate hates whites but had a buff who is white? I am confused. I pray for her and try to stay friendly even when I say no.

      Thanks

      Delete
  6. Hang in there, you're doing a great job!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One day, one minute, one second at a time. I have set some limits now we wait and see.

      She had on orientation for her 5th job this year. She quit two of them to take a better job and got fired from the other two. Fingers crossed that she can hold on to this one.

      Delete
  7. We're going through the same thing with our oldest right now. Sometimes tough love is more difficult for the parent to deal with and more stressful for us then the child we're trying to give it to. She's an adult, it's time for her to start being one. Hang in there, we're here for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She has been worried for a few weeks. Unemployed and mom cut her off. Prayers that this job works out and that she leaves her abusive asshole of a boyfriend.

      Delete