Friday, February 21, 2014

TTWD His Way, Not Mine

It has been over a year since Dragon punished me.   You would think that he is not paying attention.   That he doesn't want to live TTWD anymore.  

Not so fast!

He lets me know that he will punish when he sees fit.   TTWD may not look like my little fantasy but it is still what it is.  

He uses the look, a touch of his hand or whispered words to let me know that I am getting close to crossing the line.   I know when he means business.   There are times when a warning isn't enough to satisfy him.   Then we talk and he decides what action he wants to take.  

We don't have written rules.   The 4 Ds seem to be standard in the lifestyle and we have tweaked them to fit our needs.  

Disobedience -  When the depression or anorexia are taking over, he has tools to help me.  He gives me tasks to complete.   Eat so many calories or clean this room.  It works

Disrespect - I tend to lash out with mean words when hurt.   Words intended to hurt that I always regret.   Knowing that a trip OTK is in my future has curbed my tongue.   No more slamming doors or kicking walls either.  

Yes, I can be a brat.

Dishonesty - I lie about food.  Hide what I eat and what I don't eat.   All it takes is a hard look from Dragon and I come clean.  The benge and purge cycles are not healthy.   He knows my tricks.

Dangerous - This one sneaks up on me.   Remember nothing is set in stone.   Nothing is in writing.   I forgot my seat belt once to many times.  The front door didn't get locked.  I leave home without the GPS or my walking stick.

You get the idea.  

Last time Dragon punished me, paddles were the only option.   The plexiglass was the meanest and balsa wood the easy one.   He has a wide selection.   Now he can use the belt also.   That scares me a little.  The floggers canbe used or several non spanking punishments.

Now that he knows kneeling won't cause permanent harm to my body or aggravate my hip pain, he is all for it.   Kneeling puts me in a very submissive mindset.   Ready to listen or take a punishment I wasn't willing to accept before.  

Why over a year since the last punishment?  The short answer is life.  Civilian life made his PTSD harder to deal with at first.  As time passes it seems to be improving.  My chronic health issues are another stumbling block.  He isn't going to punish me when my pain levels are high.  

But we are still here.  Still living the TTWD lifestyle.  His way, not mine.   Isn't that part of being a submissive wife?  Letting go and letting him lead.

Reality is so much better than my fantasy.  


  1. VERY GOOD!! At first, I thought that you had developed angel wings that were permanent, but I am GLAD that he is looking out for you!!!

    1. Who me? An angel? Giggles. My devil horns support my halo just fine. Thanks for stopping by.

  2. Everyone's relationship is long as it works for the two of you, and it sure seems to. Punishments used to be a big part of out dynamic, now it is rare.
    hugs abby

    1. I think it is part of TTWD becoming a part of who we are. No need to focus on it. It just is. Good to know that I am not the only one. :-)

  3. If we try to force it our way they may agree for a time...but over time, it wouldn't be them right?

    1. No way Dragon would be forced. It was his way from the very beginning. He is a leader not a follower. Thanks for stopping by.

  4. It sounds like you are in a pretty good place. It is a good feeling to know that they have made it their own.

  5. Such a sweet post. I find reality better than my fantasy too. :)

  6. This made me smile Rose...your Dragon is definitely in the drivers seat. So happy to see that you two are doing better.

    Sending lots of prayers and healing energy for both of you.

    Hugs and Blessings...