Wednesday, February 26, 2014

How to Bathe a Cat

1. Locate and gather all needed supplies (<one minute)

2. Run the water until it is the perfect temperature (30 seconds)

3. Locate cat (3 hours)

4. Bandage arms

5. Retrieve cat and Remove collar

6. Clean scratches on face

7.  Dunk cat into cold bath water (it was warm, remember?)

8. Ignore teeth embeaded in hand and pitiful yowling.

9. Scrub cat while holding securely.  (think greased pig)

10. The water should be red with blood but don't be discouraged.  You are almost done.

11.  Rinse cat.  

12. Stand back and let go.

13. Clean cat urine off shoes and find cat poop hidden in bedroom.  

14. Prepare for further revenge.

I am not bleeding but that is only because I have learned how to avoid her claws and teeth. Just a few minor scratches.   I wonder what kind of revenge she has in mind this time.  


  1. Lol, been there. Reminds me of this
    Good luck with vengeful cat!

  2. I don't know but you know she will get even. They always do.

  3. Her revenge. She is sitting on three yards of silk, coating it with cat hair and dead fleas. Brat cat!

  4. LOL Rose...sorry to laugh but you have to admit, it would be funny if you were reading this on someone else's blog. You might be better off just catching the cat, putting her in the toilet, closing the lid and flushing a few times. *snicker*

    Seriously, I know you told us one time why you needed to bathe the cat but I can't remember why...I take it the cat bath wipes don't work?

    Hope your scratches heal soon and kitty gets over her mad. ;)

    Hugs and Blessings...

    1. I bathe her for two reasons. The first is to help with shedding and dander. I am allergic to both. The second, fleas. She likes to sneak out and visit the tom cat next door. Thankfuly she can't bring home kittens but she does bring home fleas. Since I can't use pesticides, my methods are not as effective. The vinegar bath keeps the population down but doesn't completely get rid of them. The house gets treated with 15 Mule Team Borax laundry booster. It works but again, has to be repeated frequently.

      My immune system goes haywire with even the smallest exposure to pesticides. I do what I can.