Wednesday, May 8, 2013

The Difference Between DD and Kink

Okay, so here it is.  What is the difference between DD and kink?  I am a kinky wife who just happens to be in a DD relationship.  Some people get confused and think that they are one in the same.  Spanking is a kink after all and just happens I really do enjoy being spanked for fun.

With Domestic Discipline everything is all business.  Dragon doesn't usually punish without a warning first.  He goes all HOHy on me and gives me the look.  You know the one.  His mouth gets thin, eye brows together and his voice firm.  Punishment happens when I don't listen to that warning.  First comes the lecture.

Do you know why you are being punished?


You know I love you and would never do anything to hurt you.

  Yes (at this point I am thinking "then don't spank me, you ass")

He undresses me to the extent he wants me undressed.  Sometimes none at all if I have done something minor.  The worse the spanking will be, the more clothing he removes.  He bends me over the back of a chair and places my hands firmly on the seat and it begins.  With no warm up the first 20 to 30 swats hit my backside.  It is very hard to stay still but as an adult, I know I have earned this punishment and need to take it with a submissive heart.  Not usually feeling very submissive at this point.  A mild punishment is over but if I really messed up it continues.  He rubs my reddened backside to sooth the sting just a little and the lecture continues.  This is where the tears begin to fall.  During the break time.  Sometimes he will kiss my back and continue to sooth me without letting me out of position.  Then the spanking will continue 20 to 30 swats at a time until he thinks I have learned the lesson.  So far he hasn't gone more than 2 rounds but I can see him using 3 or 4 if I am being stubborn.

Yes, I can be very stubborn.  If I stand up angry from a spanking there will be another round.  Anger is not submission.  I find the process of being punished humiliating.  It isn't fun and in no way do I ever look forward to it.  It is something I dread and work hard to avoid.  Dragon makes those sessions count so that they don't happen very often at all.  Two or three times a year.  

I always end up in his arms.  Cuddle time after a punishment is necessary.  We both need the comfort of being held.  He sits in the chair and I usually sit in his lap.  Most of the time we reconnect with love making while by bottom is still throbbing from the spanking and my face is wet from the tears.  I don't usually cry from the pain of the swats.  The tears fall after or during one of the rubbing breaks.  Shame, guilt and knowing I disappointed Dragon is what makes me cry.  That I forced him to do this unpleasant task breaks my heart.  Tears do not stop a punishment.  He stops when he is done.

Good girl spankings happen more frequently.  There is no formality to them.  More foreplay than anything else.  A long slow warm up with lots of touching and fondling   Giggles and tickles.  The fun kink last longer, are generally harder and are more likely to leave me bruised.  It can get very intense.  As the endorphins flood my body, I relax and may shake.  My head enters that lovely place I call sub space.  It is all pleasure.

Believe it or not, a punishment is more likely to end in sex than the fun kind of spanking.  During the fun kind of spanking Dragon is focused on pleasing me and fulfilling my needs sexually.  Being bisexual that doesn't always mean sex scratches my itch.  He knows how to play my body like a master musician.  He plucks the strings that make my body sing with pleasure.  Sex waits for latter.  After I float back up from reality I work harder to please him.  Fringe benefits?  He seems to think so.

Another difference between dd and kink is in the accessories.  In play Dragon uses knives, rope, hot massage rocks, wax and fire.  He would never punish me with these.  Floggers are also only used for pleasure.  He would never strike my back for punishment.  If I were to try to cover my backside during a punishment, he would probably tie my hands but that has never been necessary.

Coming soon to Dragon's Rose
  The difference between submission and obedience
   Birds, bird feeders and marriage  


  1. One more blog topic. Would you like some whine with your cheese?

    I tried to add it to the end of the post but my phone won't let me

  2. It's ind of funny how we can clearly see the line, no matter how thin it may be, that others outside would never see at all.

    This is a beautiful expression of reciprocity, and how our Dominants serve us a well.


    1. Thank you June. The first one made it, so I didn't post the second. So many people don't know the difference between dd and kink. People who are kinky see dd as a kink. The reality is very different and not easy to explain. Although spanking is listed as a fetish for me, dd isn't.

  3. I would not have understood the different between kink and DD spankings before either, and now they make perfect sense! Makes me wonder what other things in life I don't see because I never spend enough time doing it...:)

    1. I am sure that there are many things out there to do and experience. I made a bucket list a few years ago. It will take me a lifetime to do everything. I add to it every year. The more I do the more I find that I haven't done yet.