Friday, March 30, 2012

The Belt

The Belt holds a special kind of fear for me.  The sound of leather hitting leather was a sound of dread and fear when I was a little girl.  Absolute terror is the only word I can think to describe how I felt about the Belt.  Even now, 20 years after my father and step father passed away, it still holds the same fear.  I won't even wear a belt.  I won't allow my children to be disciplined with one and get very upset when I hear of a child spanked with one.

I know of only one way to get past a fear as deeply seated as this one.

Face it!  Head on!

I just told Dragon that I want to face my fear of this dreaded implement.  It is time to move past fear.  Now I get to wait and see what he does with it.  My stories have inspired him to spank more often.  I see that "man sneer" on his face more.  Maybe I should add a chapter to the story about an imaginary belt spanking.  Hmmm.  Wonder if that would inspire him to action.

Oh well.  My bottom is bruised for now.  No fun action until it is all healed.  He will punish a bruised bottom but not spank for fun.  I don't want leather butt.  Not very attractive or spankable.

Yep, I think my next "What If" story will be about a belt spanking.

8 comments:

  1. Wow. I also don't touch or wear belts. M and I have an agreement that he will never spank me with one.

    I'm pretty impressed b/c I can't see myself wanting to conquer this fear anytime soon. I will look forward to how you work it out and will read...with one eye closed. Good for you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is more that I am tired of being afraid. And I HATE being afraid of anything.

      Yes, reading that post with one eye closed is probably a good idea. Dragon may do nothing now or he may start desensitizing me to it. Hard to tell with him.

      Delete
  2. You're a braver woman then me. I'm terrified of the belt too, for much the same reason as you. I have thought once or twice about trying to face it, and then realized what I was thinking and promptly ran the other way. Too scary to even think about yet for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dragon inspired me to take this step. PTSD has been an issue for him for our entire marriage. He is finally facing it. If he can face his nightmares, I can face mine too.

      The belt doesn't hold the same fear from him that it does me. We will help each other, like we always have.

      Delete
  3. Everytime my husband EVER took his belts out of the loops of his pants, it gave me that hyper attention span feeling, even before we ever considered DD. I got spanked with a belt sometimes when I was young but not beat. I usually cried more from the one or two times it stung,(while I was running around, circling my mom or dad). The only time my husband used it on me since DD, he barely tapped me with it. I didn't even know what he was spanking me with. I was just glad he quit using that dang hickory paddle. I almost wanted to laugh at the thought of him thinking I was still getting a punishment. I didn't because he would have decided it wasn't hard enough, or gone back to the paddle. I think my husband got harder spankings than I did when he was a kid. Anyway... Good Luck... Maybe Dragon will be easy on you (just try not to laugh, if it's like my husband did). God Bless You Both, Belle L.

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  4. Dragon did that to me today. He took off his belt with me face down on the bed. That is all it took to send me into a panic. This is going to take A LOT of work. He didn't spank. Just talked to me in that low calming voice of his.

    We have a lot of work ahead of us. This is going to take a while. Thanks for stopping by and offering a little comfort.

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