That is what I feel like right now. Our schedule has gone all crazy and it is going to get worse. Sports, lessons and school work at home. And now my dear Dragon has decided he needs to finish his degree. I want to scream at him. He should have done this years ago but no. Now he puts all this crazy on us now. I am trying to be supportive. I am trying to be a good wife and mother. I am.
But it is hard.
He falls into bed exhausted at night. When brush my teeth before bed he doesn’t attack me from behind and grown in my ear. Nope. He is snoring in bed. Normally he is the aggressor and I feel over used. Now I just feel lonely. I know he is tired. But, but, but.
Yes, I know. That is life.
I need to find a new form of stress relief. What did I do before TTWD anyway? No mid week stress relief. I thought it was hard finding time over the summer. But now it is impossible and our schedule hasn’t even hit full swing. Work in my sewing room. Ride the bike. Read to the kids. Gardening is out. My allergies are too bad now.
Unfortunately, he won’t leave me angry anymore. Nope. That is just a signal that he needs to take a break. Time for him to leave me alone in that dusty garage for about 20 minutes while I process what just happened. (yes, I get to re dress) No computer. No book. Just the chair and his dusty tools. When he comes back in, will I be off the hook? Oh no. Now he really gets to the seat of the matter.
I don’t look forward to that one. It is coming. I can feel it.
But it is hard.
He falls into bed exhausted at night. When brush my teeth before bed he doesn’t attack me from behind and grown in my ear. Nope. He is snoring in bed. Normally he is the aggressor and I feel over used. Now I just feel lonely. I know he is tired. But, but, but.
Yes, I know. That is life.
I need to find a new form of stress relief. What did I do before TTWD anyway? No mid week stress relief. I thought it was hard finding time over the summer. But now it is impossible and our schedule hasn’t even hit full swing. Work in my sewing room. Ride the bike. Read to the kids. Gardening is out. My allergies are too bad now.
I can feel the tension building. The little everyday stressors of a stay at home, home school mom are piling up. How much more can I handle before something has to give? Before I start screaming like a maniac? I am afraid that we are going to end up in another stupid silly fight. You know how those end don’t you? Me bare bottomed over his knee, begging him to stop and tears of anger on the edge of falling. Swat after stinging swat falling on my flaming backside.
Unfortunately, he won’t leave me angry anymore. Nope. That is just a signal that he needs to take a break. Time for him to leave me alone in that dusty garage for about 20 minutes while I process what just happened. (yes, I get to re dress) No computer. No book. Just the chair and his dusty tools. When he comes back in, will I be off the hook? Oh no. Now he really gets to the seat of the matter.
I don’t look forward to that one. It is coming. I can feel it.
Last night went a little better. Dragon did his homework at the table while I worked on Algebra for one of my kids. It worked out great. Still, he didn't hold me during the night but I still felt closer to him. That was good.
ReplyDeleteSo...before it comes, tell him what you need. My husband always reminds me he is not a mind reader.
ReplyDeleteIf he can find time to punish you he can find time to spank you to head that off....somehow, someway. Tell him! Sara
very bad timing tonight. I had to call the police about an on going issue with a neighbor. We are all super stressed. The good news is that this time she commited a crime and he told me that it won't be dropped this time. I hope this mess ends soon.
ReplyDeleteYikes..not good when you can tell it's coming. Find time to talk to him before you explode. And, just physically be near him. Sometimes my husband requires me to be "shoulder to shoulder" beside him, quietly while he works. It settles me. And him.
ReplyDelete