Thursday, August 4, 2011

Dusting off the Door Mat

It is quiet on the home front. With wild land fire season in full swing, my asthma is flaring. He doesn‘t want to make it any worse. The impact of the paddle makes it so much harder to breath. Stress relief is put on hold until the smoke clears from the valley.
He is doing his very best to help me avoid punishment too. I don’t think he would withhold a well deserved spanking but he isn‘t nit picking. He lets me rest when I need to and judges how I feel by how my service dog is acting. If the dog won’t leave my side, he knows something is wrong. If the dog is snoozing on his bed, he knows I’m ok. Funny how that works.
The kids have started slipping with schoolwork and chores. I waited until Dragon got home from work to read the kids the riot act. I wanted them to know we were on the same page. When I started getting close to messing up, he sent the kids out of the room for a few minutes. He held me until the tears began to slow and called the kids back in. They are grounded and know that if they don’t get their school work done at home, they will all be in school. If they are going to fail, it can do it at school and not take up my time. They discovered what I have given up to stay home with them. A degree in chemical engineering and a career that pays a lot more than staying home with the kids. It is a dream that is gone. I gave it up years ago.
Dragon isn’t out to punish me. He isn’t waiting for me to slip. Sexy, erotic spankings he loves and will use every opportunity to redden my bare backside. But punishment is a different story. I discovered that last night. As he held and comforted me. While my tears fell, I melted in his arms. He reassured me that I wasn’t wrong. No rules had been broken. He wanted me to calm down before I crossed that line. He wanted to let me know that he understands and he is on my side. We have both made sacrifices for our children. They didn’t know it before but they do now.
I have dusted the foot prints off my back. I am sure it is a temporary state. I said I would never be a door mat but somehow, I have let the kids treat me like one. I have my little broom in hand to dust away any new foot prints as soon as they try. Let’s see how long it lasts this time.


  1. ok - so not to sound like a stalker or anything. Please please forgive me. I'm in that "haven't had a diet coke in 3 days, please hook me up to the IV" stage of reading blogs and whatnot. And I'm probably a little over excited.

    but I just had to say - hey! we homeschool too :)

  2. s&Q I'm that way with my coffee. Don't even talk to me unil the second cup. LOL No worries.

    Only my oldest has ever been in a public school. I let her take band.