Dragon does things his own way. He is strong willed, hard headed and loves me with all of his heart. What more could a girl want? I am his china doll, his rose and his princess. He spoils me rotten, hold me close at nigh and shows mercy when I don’t deserve it.
The loving dd book and the cdd web page encourage spanking to tears. Dragon says “no thank you. You don’t need to cry every time.” He wants submission and obedience. That comes before the first swat connects with my backside. It comes when I submit to his authority and to a punishment that I know will not be pleasant. Sometimes tears come after all is said and done. Sometimes the tears don’t fall at all. Tears are not his goal. He doesn’t want to beat me into submission. I submit to him because I love him and trust him will my heart.
The Learning DD blog gives step by step instructions for spanking. How hard, position, how many swats. Boy am I ever happy my Dragon can think for himself. Nine swats and my last punishment was over. Sometimes I need fewer swats and there are times when I need more. He listens to my squeaks. He pays attention to the tension in my body. Positioned across his lap, with his hand on back, he feels my body tense and relax. He feels in my body the very moment I have had enough. There is no need to go one step further. No need to continue the spanking until I am in hysterics. I am thankful that he stops when he does.
Every page I have read says, NO RUBBING. Yet after every few swats, he rubs my flaming skin. After the last swat, before he lets me up, he rubs away the pain. He sooths the sting. I treasure those moments. His touch shows that I am forgiven. His touch shows me that all is right in my little world. When he repositions me in his lap and holds me close, I know I am loved.
Dragon doesn’t do “corner time” or time out. He takes me into his arms and whispers words of love into my ear. He sends the kids to their room to let me collect my thoughts and calm down. He harnesses my service dog and fills my camel pack for a long walk. Dragon understands that sometimes I need a hug and sometimes I need a little time alone. On really hard days he gets out my motorcycle leather and the helmet. He moves the bike to the driveway and gets it running for me. I get to take a long solitary ride. Just me, the bike and the open road. I head away from civilization, up into the mountains and across the desert. I love his idea of Mommy time. No standing naked in the corner for me.
Yep. I am one lucky girl and I know it. I am thankful that my husband is the man that he is. I am thankful that he is mine. This last year has been a learning experience. I have learned that labels are man made and that most people don’t really fit any of them. We are all individuals with different relationship dynamics. So much the same and yet very different too. Is my relationship with Dragon D/s, DD, CDD, LDD or Tih? Or are we simply a man and woman absolutely in love finding our way in a world turned upside down?
It is hard to believe that this time last year we were just starting to talk about making some changed in our lives. Talking about what these changed would look like in our relationship and deciding to move foreword with it. Yes, I am the one who brought up the topic but it turns out he was already half a step ahead of me. He had already started moving our relationship in that direction. So now what do we call it? I think it is simply “This Thing We Do” Or as Bman and Sugarann say it "Tweed"