Amazon is great. LOVE IT!!!
Hermione's post about the dogging bat sent me on a search.
First was the dogging bat. Yep, they have it for $13. Riding crops, paddles, floggers.Oh my. They even have the NJoy plug I have been lusting after. Bamboo spoons of all shapes and sizes, birch bundles, an endless selection of spatulas.
Oh my at all the tools of ass destruction. Large, old fashioned hair brushes, flipflops. Bull whips. The list goes on.
How about restraints? Silk scarves, ribbon, rope, tie downs and horse hobbles. Belts are great for spanking and restraint. Plastic zip ties, duct tape.
Oh wow.
Who would have thought that Amazon would be a place to shop for all things fun?
Giggles... my wish list is interesting. WEG
What is your favorite impact toy or kinky item on Amazon?
So many possibilities.
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Trying Again
Grrr
I don't know why I am having such a hard time with fitness this time around. I just can't seem to get into a routine. It is a cycle and not a good one.
Work out slow and easy.
Increase intensity and duration slowly
Get impatient and really work out
Done
Takes about a week start to finish.
Today's work out doesn't sound like much but it is for me. 10 minutes on the treadmill set at 2.5, incline 3 and some stretching.
Not impressive but it is a place to start.
I don't know why I am having such a hard time with fitness this time around. I just can't seem to get into a routine. It is a cycle and not a good one.
Work out slow and easy.
Increase intensity and duration slowly
Get impatient and really work out
Done
Takes about a week start to finish.
Today's work out doesn't sound like much but it is for me. 10 minutes on the treadmill set at 2.5, incline 3 and some stretching.
Not impressive but it is a place to start.
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Itsy Bitsy Spider
We were home. The camper unpacked and the washer going. Finally time for some play.
Dragon had my shirt off and straddling a chair. Love my ladder back chairs. I felt a little tickle on my foot but managed to ignore it. This was a fun, feel good scene. Light tapping across my shoulders and back.
That light tickle on my foot continued. I finally took a good look.
SPIDER!!!
With a squeal, I knocked it to the floor and Dragon killed it. We tried to continue the scene. It was just starting to get good but the spider killed the mood.
Oh well
It was nice while it lasted.
Dragon had my shirt off and straddling a chair. Love my ladder back chairs. I felt a little tickle on my foot but managed to ignore it. This was a fun, feel good scene. Light tapping across my shoulders and back.
That light tickle on my foot continued. I finally took a good look.
SPIDER!!!
With a squeal, I knocked it to the floor and Dragon killed it. We tried to continue the scene. It was just starting to get good but the spider killed the mood.
Oh well
It was nice while it lasted.
Friday, July 25, 2014
Camping
It was a whirlwind trip but a nice change of pace. Two nights. Three days.
Years ago we decided that three days just wasn't enough to enjoy camping. It was all we had. We can't afford more time away from work. I'll take what I can get.
We went to a lake a ways from home
I think Sunny may have mentioned it in a prior post. Walking trails, swimming and fishing. Even with 4 dogs and three teenagers, we still had fun.
Dragon caught 4 bass. I could see him relaxing with that fishing pole in his hand. The kids and puppies played in the water.We avoided the public beaches . More private and the puppies could go for a swim. I think my little rescue puppy found every stick in our little cover.
Unfortunately, the 50 Shades preview was released when I had limited access to the internet. The first thing I did when we for home was to watch it. The Twilight feely parts are there but from what I can see, it will be a much better movie. I'll wait for it to come out on Netflix.
Time to start cleaning up and get the house and camper CDO organized. I am in desperate need if order. Hopefully, after his nap, Dragon will feel like playing.
A girl can hope.
I know that I broke several rules while we were gone. I hope he overlooks them and makes it fun. :-)
Years ago we decided that three days just wasn't enough to enjoy camping. It was all we had. We can't afford more time away from work. I'll take what I can get.
We went to a lake a ways from home
I think Sunny may have mentioned it in a prior post. Walking trails, swimming and fishing. Even with 4 dogs and three teenagers, we still had fun.
Dragon caught 4 bass. I could see him relaxing with that fishing pole in his hand. The kids and puppies played in the water.We avoided the public beaches . More private and the puppies could go for a swim. I think my little rescue puppy found every stick in our little cover.
Unfortunately, the 50 Shades preview was released when I had limited access to the internet. The first thing I did when we for home was to watch it. The Twilight feely parts are there but from what I can see, it will be a much better movie. I'll wait for it to come out on Netflix.
Time to start cleaning up and get the house and camper CDO organized. I am in desperate need if order. Hopefully, after his nap, Dragon will feel like playing.
A girl can hope.
I know that I broke several rules while we were gone. I hope he overlooks them and makes it fun. :-)
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Tune-up
Since I objected to calling that weekly, just because spanking mantainance, Dragon decided to give it a new name.
A tune-up.
Further proof that TTWD is finally back.
I almost forgot to take my morning asthma meds again! An hour late, I took them but I didn't forget!
We are busy this morning. Running around, rushing for no reason in a near panic. No real reason for the panic. It just is...
Dragon decided to take it to the seat of the problem with a tune-up. Off to the garage we went. Bare bottom, over the chair and not his lap. He says that he gets a better swing that way.
Week
I lost count of the swats. Since it wasn't a punishment, I got a short warm up. But wowza did that ever sting. On an already sore bottom, Dragon made sure I had a sore reminder to behave.
This is after a long, fun scene last night.
I am not sitting comfortably today and I have a huge smile on my face.
Purrrfect
A tune-up.
Further proof that TTWD is finally back.
I almost forgot to take my morning asthma meds again! An hour late, I took them but I didn't forget!
We are busy this morning. Running around, rushing for no reason in a near panic. No real reason for the panic. It just is...
Dragon decided to take it to the seat of the problem with a tune-up. Off to the garage we went. Bare bottom, over the chair and not his lap. He says that he gets a better swing that way.
Week
I lost count of the swats. Since it wasn't a punishment, I got a short warm up. But wowza did that ever sting. On an already sore bottom, Dragon made sure I had a sore reminder to behave.
This is after a long, fun scene last night.
I am not sitting comfortably today and I have a huge smile on my face.
Purrrfect
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
The Punishment
The first one in a VERY long time. I confessed knowing what Dragon would do. He is punishing me because it is what I need and because it will benefit both of us.
Pre spanking.
I know it is coming but I'm not nervous. This isn't an erotic or fun spanking but I am aroused. My backside tingles in anticipation. Eat, get the kids and animals put to bed and then we take care of businesses.
I am doing this entry a little different. It is going into a draft folder until latter. It is getting written in stages. Before, the actual spanking, after and the next day. Not sure if I am going to share this one. I'll have to wait and see.
Sunday night was a bust. We had a very busy day and had no interest in spanking but the love making sure was nice. Even had some extra fun sprinkles on top.
Monday after supper, Dragon led me to the garage.
It was time.
No preparation.
No anticipation
Just down to businesses
I still didn't get nervous. Just a bit shy when he told me to drop my pants. I don't know why that is worse than completely nude but that puddle of fabric around my feet brothers me.
He pushed my panties down and placed my hands in a chair. OTK is reserved for fun. 5 swats and none of them gentile. Not the worst I have ever had. Then one more because I forgot my asthma meds when I left the house.
No huge scolding. Dragon is more of the strong silent type but the message came across loud and clear. DD is not gone.
My backside has that after spanking ache that I have missed so much. I know this has to sound crazy but I hope there is more to come. :-)
The Morning After
My backside is just a little sore. Walking around is fine but I feel it when I sit in our kitchen chairs.
No drastic after effects for this one but I didn't go into it emotional. It was matter-of-fact tending to business. Cleansing, good, humbaling but not earth shaking.
This morning, over breakfast, Dragon let me know that there is more to come tonight. Another spanking on an already sore bottom. (Those swats were as gentile as a lightening strike). I can choose what kind of spanking I get by my actions today.
Yep, all I had to do was let him remember how good dd is for both of us.
He is back!!!
Domestic Discipline is back
Fun, just because spankings are back
I miss the floggers but it is probably a good thing that they are out of service. Paddle, rod, belt or hand on the backside. That is the only choice right now. No feel good flogging. A bare bottom spanking always comes with a extra level of submission that flogging is missing.
Call me crazy but I asked Dragon for help with something else. I keep forgetting my asthma meds. I procrastinate then it is to late in the day.
I feel much better when I am 100% consistent with the meds. I notice a difference with even just one missed dose. So it has become an accountability issue. Just like seatbelt use. No warnings, no second chance and no excuces.
I asked for it and with the look on Dragon's face, he has no problem taking it to the seat of the problem. My memory mysteriously improves when my bottom is on the line.
Time to get busy. I need to work on the curtains and inventory the kitchen.
Today is starting out great.
Pre spanking.
I know it is coming but I'm not nervous. This isn't an erotic or fun spanking but I am aroused. My backside tingles in anticipation. Eat, get the kids and animals put to bed and then we take care of businesses.
I am doing this entry a little different. It is going into a draft folder until latter. It is getting written in stages. Before, the actual spanking, after and the next day. Not sure if I am going to share this one. I'll have to wait and see.
Sunday night was a bust. We had a very busy day and had no interest in spanking but the love making sure was nice. Even had some extra fun sprinkles on top.
Monday after supper, Dragon led me to the garage.
It was time.
No preparation.
No anticipation
Just down to businesses
I still didn't get nervous. Just a bit shy when he told me to drop my pants. I don't know why that is worse than completely nude but that puddle of fabric around my feet brothers me.
He pushed my panties down and placed my hands in a chair. OTK is reserved for fun. 5 swats and none of them gentile. Not the worst I have ever had. Then one more because I forgot my asthma meds when I left the house.
No huge scolding. Dragon is more of the strong silent type but the message came across loud and clear. DD is not gone.
My backside has that after spanking ache that I have missed so much. I know this has to sound crazy but I hope there is more to come. :-)
The Morning After
My backside is just a little sore. Walking around is fine but I feel it when I sit in our kitchen chairs.
No drastic after effects for this one but I didn't go into it emotional. It was matter-of-fact tending to business. Cleansing, good, humbaling but not earth shaking.
This morning, over breakfast, Dragon let me know that there is more to come tonight. Another spanking on an already sore bottom. (Those swats were as gentile as a lightening strike). I can choose what kind of spanking I get by my actions today.
Yep, all I had to do was let him remember how good dd is for both of us.
He is back!!!
Domestic Discipline is back
Fun, just because spankings are back
I miss the floggers but it is probably a good thing that they are out of service. Paddle, rod, belt or hand on the backside. That is the only choice right now. No feel good flogging. A bare bottom spanking always comes with a extra level of submission that flogging is missing.
Call me crazy but I asked Dragon for help with something else. I keep forgetting my asthma meds. I procrastinate then it is to late in the day.
I feel much better when I am 100% consistent with the meds. I notice a difference with even just one missed dose. So it has become an accountability issue. Just like seatbelt use. No warnings, no second chance and no excuces.
I asked for it and with the look on Dragon's face, he has no problem taking it to the seat of the problem. My memory mysteriously improves when my bottom is on the line.
Time to get busy. I need to work on the curtains and inventory the kitchen.
Today is starting out great.
Monday, July 21, 2014
Reset
Dragon has declared this to be reset week. With a few days off it is the perfect time to do it. We are settled in and making bills. The kids are back in activities and the chaos level is set to high. Situation Normal. Now it is time to get back on track.
Dragon mentioned BDSM, kink, D/s and DD. We had a long talk about work, schedules and just being to busy. But when we are to busy to take care of us, everyone pays the price.
I need his dominance and so does he. He needs my submisdion as much as i need to submit. He needs a place where he is in control and I need a place that I am not in control at all.
It all works together to make us both better and to keep our marriage secure.
Last night he was to tired to take care of business until I got into bed completely nude. His tune changed fast. I didn't get the much needed punishment but we spent over an hour making love. It has been a long time since he pushed my limits so hard. Just WOW
and here I thought he wasn't listening and didn't want this lifestyle anymore.
Fooled me!
There won't be any time for spanking this evening or tomorrow. That hasn't stopped Dragon today. As he was leaving for work he gave me a to do list and a reminder to obey. Toothpaste on the clit burns but doesn't last long. He left with a smile on his face and my lady parts burning.
A girl can hope.
The pantry is getting reorganized. That has turned into a group effort. I did my half and now the kids are working away in there. Now it is time to work on the curtains for the camper. Lots to do.
Dragon mentioned BDSM, kink, D/s and DD. We had a long talk about work, schedules and just being to busy. But when we are to busy to take care of us, everyone pays the price.
I need his dominance and so does he. He needs my submisdion as much as i need to submit. He needs a place where he is in control and I need a place that I am not in control at all.
It all works together to make us both better and to keep our marriage secure.
Last night he was to tired to take care of business until I got into bed completely nude. His tune changed fast. I didn't get the much needed punishment but we spent over an hour making love. It has been a long time since he pushed my limits so hard. Just WOW
and here I thought he wasn't listening and didn't want this lifestyle anymore.
Fooled me!
There won't be any time for spanking this evening or tomorrow. That hasn't stopped Dragon today. As he was leaving for work he gave me a to do list and a reminder to obey. Toothpaste on the clit burns but doesn't last long. He left with a smile on his face and my lady parts burning.
A girl can hope.
The pantry is getting reorganized. That has turned into a group effort. I did my half and now the kids are working away in there. Now it is time to work on the curtains for the camper. Lots to do.
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Confession
When I make my confession to the priest he says a prayer with me, forgives and assignes a penance. All is good.
Right?
Wrong.
I still hang on to the guilt. I pour out my heart and confess things that are truly bad. No kneeling on tacks. No hours spent in prayer asking forgiveness. Just told to pray for the poor.
Hmmm. I already do that.
So what is missing? Confession and accountability in my marriage. We have pushed the Ds of domestic discipline to the background and guilt has caused discord. For both of us, not just me.
Disobedience
Dangerous
Disrespect
Defiance
Dishonesty
I try to be a good wife and mother but I am guilty of all of the Ds.
Disobedience - yes, I got the chore done. Almost. In the 5 minutes before Dragon walks in the door I am frantic and working hard to get my chores done. The results are sloppy and half done.
Dangerous - I let depression rule the day. IInstead of obedience I make excuses for lazyness which feeds the depression. That makes it dangerous.
Disrespect - by not doing the few things Dragon asks of me I am showing disrespect. I am showing that I don't value the sacrifices that he makes for our family.
I could keep going but I think you get the idea. It is a cycle that feeds itself. All connected and none of it healthy for me or Dragon.
The confessional at church is a good thing but it isn't magical. I still have to make things right with Dragon. If I leave these issues alone things will not improve. I can make changes but the guilt won't go away.
I made my confession to my Dragon. Listing off the the rules we have and how I have broken them.
Dragon is a thoughtful man. He is carefully considering where to go from here.
I hate punishment in whatever form it takes. But I will submit.
His decision stands.
No. I am not worried. He will be fair and not overly harsh.
PS. My confession to him was more detailed. I cannot put everything here. My shame is to deep. He got it all. You just have a little. Hopefully he doesn't keep me waiting for long.
Right?
Wrong.
I still hang on to the guilt. I pour out my heart and confess things that are truly bad. No kneeling on tacks. No hours spent in prayer asking forgiveness. Just told to pray for the poor.
Hmmm. I already do that.
So what is missing? Confession and accountability in my marriage. We have pushed the Ds of domestic discipline to the background and guilt has caused discord. For both of us, not just me.
Disobedience
Dangerous
Disrespect
Defiance
Dishonesty
I try to be a good wife and mother but I am guilty of all of the Ds.
Disobedience - yes, I got the chore done. Almost. In the 5 minutes before Dragon walks in the door I am frantic and working hard to get my chores done. The results are sloppy and half done.
Dangerous - I let depression rule the day. IInstead of obedience I make excuses for lazyness which feeds the depression. That makes it dangerous.
Disrespect - by not doing the few things Dragon asks of me I am showing disrespect. I am showing that I don't value the sacrifices that he makes for our family.
I could keep going but I think you get the idea. It is a cycle that feeds itself. All connected and none of it healthy for me or Dragon.
The confessional at church is a good thing but it isn't magical. I still have to make things right with Dragon. If I leave these issues alone things will not improve. I can make changes but the guilt won't go away.
I made my confession to my Dragon. Listing off the the rules we have and how I have broken them.
Dragon is a thoughtful man. He is carefully considering where to go from here.
I hate punishment in whatever form it takes. But I will submit.
His decision stands.
No. I am not worried. He will be fair and not overly harsh.
PS. My confession to him was more detailed. I cannot put everything here. My shame is to deep. He got it all. You just have a little. Hopefully he doesn't keep me waiting for long.
Monday, July 14, 2014
An Excape from Reality
It was a busy day. Dragon had to work and I had a crazy day. One of the kids had an early morning game. We left home at 6am to get there. It was a hot day and my little car has no ac.
After the game, I took a power nap and got busy again. Those curtains for the camper need to be made. I like a little privacy at night. Latter in the evening I started dinner and took my daughter out for a lesson on driving a standard. She gets better every time we go for a drive.
Dragon finally got home around 7. We finished cooking together and had a nice meal with the family.
We were both hot and sweaty from our day but we decided to go get a little time together. We headed out to our retreat in the garage. We found the floggers ruined. That was a huge disappointment but dragon made up for it.
We made love. No sex. Just together. Touching, kissing and exploring. Talking and of course spanking.
I have no idea how long we were out there. Out time ended with a knock at the door. The kids needed help.
Oh well. It was nice while it lasted.
No grand fire works but in a way, it was better. We ended our crazy day in the shower together. Nothing is better than a good back scrub and a soapy hug. We fell asleep in each others arms.
After the game, I took a power nap and got busy again. Those curtains for the camper need to be made. I like a little privacy at night. Latter in the evening I started dinner and took my daughter out for a lesson on driving a standard. She gets better every time we go for a drive.
Dragon finally got home around 7. We finished cooking together and had a nice meal with the family.
We were both hot and sweaty from our day but we decided to go get a little time together. We headed out to our retreat in the garage. We found the floggers ruined. That was a huge disappointment but dragon made up for it.
We made love. No sex. Just together. Touching, kissing and exploring. Talking and of course spanking.
I have no idea how long we were out there. Out time ended with a knock at the door. The kids needed help.
Oh well. It was nice while it lasted.
No grand fire works but in a way, it was better. We ended our crazy day in the shower together. Nothing is better than a good back scrub and a soapy hug. We fell asleep in each others arms.
Friday, July 11, 2014
Drama? What Drama?
I am very happy to have missed it and no, I am not curious about the cause. I declared blog land to be a stress free zone several years ago. Even before Dragon retired from the military. I am selective about the blogs I follow and don't even read all of those.
There is a meme going around Facebook but I don't know how to share it here. It keeps me sane. Sometimes.
Not my circus
Not my monkeys
I ignore the rude people on Facebook.
Remind my oldest daughter that her love life is not my business.
And in blog land, read selectively.
So for this drama trauma I will remain blissfully ignorant. I am not even Switzerland on this one. Just keeping my head down while the monkeys throw their shit.
While everyone else was worried about internet drama I had a great day. Dragon replaced the breaker box in our camper and we cleaned like crazy.
When we moved,we lived out of the camper for several months. It stayed closed up for almost two years. Trust me, after living in a camper with 4 kids,3 dogs and a cat, you don't want a summer camping trip for a while. We took a peek a few weeks ago and nearly cried. Mice can do a LOT of damage.
It is a pop up camper with tent sides and beds at both ends. There was a nest in the middle of the mattress, holes in the tents, stains on the curtains and two sets of curtains were so damaged that I couldn't salvage them. We stressed over the damage for weeks but finally decided to give it a good scrubbing and see how bad it is.
We scrubbed, swept, shampooed and inspected every inch of that little camper. It took us all day. Everything was wiped down. The dishes washed. Shelf liners replaced and mouse nests evicted!
The verdict?
We found enough tent patches in our stash to patch the holes in the tents. One mattress has some minor damage. The window curtains have light damage. They need it be replaced but will do for now. The privacy curtains over the beds took the most damage. I an going to salvage the clips used to hang them up and make new ones. With the new breaker box, the air conditioner works again,the battery is charging and we have lights.
The camper is useable!!!! (Several thousand dollars to fix it right. That will happen but not this summer)
Fingers crossed that Dragon gets a few days off in a row. Prayers that the truck is still chugged along.
We have scouted out a few camp grounds and state parks. I am so ready for a vacation. We need some down time.
Hope my rant didn't come across ugly. I don't know what I would do without blog land. I need my little drama free space.
Hugs to all those who were hurt by this most recently blow up. These things do blow over. They go away and life goes on. One blogger left that I follow. I sure do hope the rest of you stick around.
There is a meme going around Facebook but I don't know how to share it here. It keeps me sane. Sometimes.
Not my circus
Not my monkeys
I ignore the rude people on Facebook.
Remind my oldest daughter that her love life is not my business.
And in blog land, read selectively.
So for this drama trauma I will remain blissfully ignorant. I am not even Switzerland on this one. Just keeping my head down while the monkeys throw their shit.
While everyone else was worried about internet drama I had a great day. Dragon replaced the breaker box in our camper and we cleaned like crazy.
When we moved,we lived out of the camper for several months. It stayed closed up for almost two years. Trust me, after living in a camper with 4 kids,3 dogs and a cat, you don't want a summer camping trip for a while. We took a peek a few weeks ago and nearly cried. Mice can do a LOT of damage.
It is a pop up camper with tent sides and beds at both ends. There was a nest in the middle of the mattress, holes in the tents, stains on the curtains and two sets of curtains were so damaged that I couldn't salvage them. We stressed over the damage for weeks but finally decided to give it a good scrubbing and see how bad it is.
We scrubbed, swept, shampooed and inspected every inch of that little camper. It took us all day. Everything was wiped down. The dishes washed. Shelf liners replaced and mouse nests evicted!
The verdict?
We found enough tent patches in our stash to patch the holes in the tents. One mattress has some minor damage. The window curtains have light damage. They need it be replaced but will do for now. The privacy curtains over the beds took the most damage. I an going to salvage the clips used to hang them up and make new ones. With the new breaker box, the air conditioner works again,the battery is charging and we have lights.
The camper is useable!!!! (Several thousand dollars to fix it right. That will happen but not this summer)
Fingers crossed that Dragon gets a few days off in a row. Prayers that the truck is still chugged along.
We have scouted out a few camp grounds and state parks. I am so ready for a vacation. We need some down time.
Hope my rant didn't come across ugly. I don't know what I would do without blog land. I need my little drama free space.
Hugs to all those who were hurt by this most recently blow up. These things do blow over. They go away and life goes on. One blogger left that I follow. I sure do hope the rest of you stick around.
Friday, July 4, 2014
Twas the night before....
Independence day and all through the house panicked feet ran, searching for albuterol.
I had a late night snack. A small cup of yogurt. Something I eat all the time. I never expected an allergic reaction. My legs got antsy and began to itch. It got hard to breath and my vision went all funny.
Everyone scrambled to get the drugs I needed to stop it before it turned into a full blown anaphylactic reaction. Benadryl, Zantac, albuterol and Atrovent nebulizer. With the Epi pens in hand and Dragon ready to dial 911, we waited.
Slowly my breathing improved and the black spots faded from my vision. It felt like an eternity to me but probably only lasted about 15 minutes. I am feeling better today. Sleepy because I am keeping myself doped up on benadryl and shaking from the pro air.
I am not taking any chances today. No questionable food. No smoke. No fireworks. My body is set on twitchy right now. Ready to fight any invaders.
Great timing
NOT!!!
The first really bad reaction in years. Guess I should count myself lucky.
I had a late night snack. A small cup of yogurt. Something I eat all the time. I never expected an allergic reaction. My legs got antsy and began to itch. It got hard to breath and my vision went all funny.
Everyone scrambled to get the drugs I needed to stop it before it turned into a full blown anaphylactic reaction. Benadryl, Zantac, albuterol and Atrovent nebulizer. With the Epi pens in hand and Dragon ready to dial 911, we waited.
Slowly my breathing improved and the black spots faded from my vision. It felt like an eternity to me but probably only lasted about 15 minutes. I am feeling better today. Sleepy because I am keeping myself doped up on benadryl and shaking from the pro air.
I am not taking any chances today. No questionable food. No smoke. No fireworks. My body is set on twitchy right now. Ready to fight any invaders.
Great timing
NOT!!!
The first really bad reaction in years. Guess I should count myself lucky.
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Independence Day
For the first time EVER, Dragon has the day absolutely off. He isn't on call anywhere. No mandatory parade, no fire works show to prepare for. It is great. We don't even have plans to go visiting. Just staying home. A quiet day.
Nice.
I am holding up okay. Had a few moments of tears but still good. 24 years ago when I was 18 years old and fresh out of high school my mom woke me up. I was living with my grandmother and had just finished my second day at my very first grown-up job. I thought it was strange that my mom was there but I wasvery happy to see her. I had no idea something was wrong.
That was July 1st.
My father had passed away the night before. I knew he was in the hospital but he told me that it was going to be okay. I believed him. He tried to get out of bed on his own and fell. The fall caused a brain bleed. There was no stopping it. He only lived a few more hours.
I don't know why it still hurts so much. This year is better than most. My little car makes me feel like I have a little part of him right here with me. When it gets hard, I just go sit in the passenger seat and remember how much he loved me.
Watermelon, something cooked on the grill and sparklers. It will be a good day. My family will be together. I think my oldest has other plans. That's okay. We will have a better day anyway without her attitude.
PS she finally left her pos boyfriend. With her, I'll take any good news I can get.
Nice.
I am holding up okay. Had a few moments of tears but still good. 24 years ago when I was 18 years old and fresh out of high school my mom woke me up. I was living with my grandmother and had just finished my second day at my very first grown-up job. I thought it was strange that my mom was there but I wasvery happy to see her. I had no idea something was wrong.
That was July 1st.
My father had passed away the night before. I knew he was in the hospital but he told me that it was going to be okay. I believed him. He tried to get out of bed on his own and fell. The fall caused a brain bleed. There was no stopping it. He only lived a few more hours.
I don't know why it still hurts so much. This year is better than most. My little car makes me feel like I have a little part of him right here with me. When it gets hard, I just go sit in the passenger seat and remember how much he loved me.
Watermelon, something cooked on the grill and sparklers. It will be a good day. My family will be together. I think my oldest has other plans. That's okay. We will have a better day anyway without her attitude.
PS she finally left her pos boyfriend. With her, I'll take any good news I can get.
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Steriotypes and an Angry Mom
My daughter's roommate is sometimes entertaining, always frustrating and sometimes rage inducing.
Her parents are illegal imagrants from Mexico. I have to say that I am getting an education. Did you know that the US stole Texas from Mexico? Let's forget all about the Republic of Texas. The history she learned in school can't be part of the conversation.
Americans are lazy. I heard the same thing in Europe too. Funny thing. My grandparents, parents and husband are some of the hardest working people I have ever known. And any of them will give you the shirt off their backs.
My daughter is not cultured because she was homeschooled. Nope, she doesn't understand the local slang but get her around a bunch of military kids and she can hold her own. Trips to art museums, the symphony and natural science exhibits. She has lived in three different countries and visited more. She learned WWII history standing beside the Rhine river.
Nope. She can't be cultured. Impossible.
I am not sure what to think right now.
My daughter barley talks to me. When she does it is to hint for a hand out. She won't directly ask for help. Just hints. Nothing I do is right. I try to tell her that the neighborhood she lives in is dangerous and I am not comfortable going there. But I am wrong. I offer to buy her gas and she says that she doesn't have gas money to come visit.
Excuses maybe?
I give up.
One day she will figure this out. I'll be there for her when she does.
Sorry for venting. I am hurting and practicing some tuff love. She asked for money and I said no. To many lies. I have been walked on to much. No more hand outs. I'll drop off groceries when she is going hunger but I won't help with rent any more. The last time I did she went and got her nails done. $100+ .
Enough. Past time for her to grow up. My job is done. I raised her and now it is time for her to stand on her own two feet.
Her parents are illegal imagrants from Mexico. I have to say that I am getting an education. Did you know that the US stole Texas from Mexico? Let's forget all about the Republic of Texas. The history she learned in school can't be part of the conversation.
Americans are lazy. I heard the same thing in Europe too. Funny thing. My grandparents, parents and husband are some of the hardest working people I have ever known. And any of them will give you the shirt off their backs.
My daughter is not cultured because she was homeschooled. Nope, she doesn't understand the local slang but get her around a bunch of military kids and she can hold her own. Trips to art museums, the symphony and natural science exhibits. She has lived in three different countries and visited more. She learned WWII history standing beside the Rhine river.
Nope. She can't be cultured. Impossible.
I am not sure what to think right now.
My daughter barley talks to me. When she does it is to hint for a hand out. She won't directly ask for help. Just hints. Nothing I do is right. I try to tell her that the neighborhood she lives in is dangerous and I am not comfortable going there. But I am wrong. I offer to buy her gas and she says that she doesn't have gas money to come visit.
Excuses maybe?
I give up.
One day she will figure this out. I'll be there for her when she does.
Sorry for venting. I am hurting and practicing some tuff love. She asked for money and I said no. To many lies. I have been walked on to much. No more hand outs. I'll drop off groceries when she is going hunger but I won't help with rent any more. The last time I did she went and got her nails done. $100+ .
Enough. Past time for her to grow up. My job is done. I raised her and now it is time for her to stand on her own two feet.
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