A new year a better year

As I look forward to the new year, I have hopes of a better year.  New fitness goals, a plan to loose this bacon butt of mine and sewing projects lined up for the next 6 months.  I have a corset going and another one planned.  Fabric for a skating costume is waiting and there are two new baby girls in my extended family.  So much sewing to do.  And I need to get my kids back to the books.  That will be the hardest part.  I gave them a full two weeks off.  Never done that before. 

This year is coming in with a roar.   My to-do list keeps growing and it looks like my Dragon will be out of commission for a few months.  Hopefully this surgery will lower his pain level.  He won’t be able to cut or tip bones for a while.  And I will have to drive everywhere.  Not looking forward to that at all.  My oldest child goes back to see the allergist this week.  She breaks out in hives once or twice a week.  We need to figure out what is making her so sick.  Living with an epi pen close by is a fact of life now.  I know it probably will be for years to come.  It would just be nice to know what foods we need to avoid. 

Last year my to-do list was just as long and my hopes for the year were high.  I did the crash and burn thing.  This year I am starting with high hopes again but now my husband has a new tool to motivate me.  Since we have started DD, he is more relaxed.  All he has to do is pick up the paddle and I move.  Some days nothing works but most of the time just the knowledge that the paddle is waiting is enough to get me on my feet.  Pathetic that it takes a threat to get me out of bed.  I know.  But this depression is hard to beat. 

Why is the depression bug so hard to fight?  I don’t know why I can’t just get over this.  I’m re-entering life in quick little sprints.  My sprints today got the Christmas decorations put away.  My husband brought in the boxes and all I had to do was pack them.  The kids cleaned the living room up very nice.  Now the elliptical needs to be moved from the mud room back to its place in the living room.  I even got the lining sewn into my corset.  This one is going together so much easier than the last one.   I got a lot done but every bit of it was forced.  I felt like a puppet moving on strings. 

I am trying.  I guess that counts for something.  Breath.  One step at a time.