GET A GRIP

I don’t do change. When my little corner of the world changes, I fall apart. Oh but it is just a small change. Three hours added onto the end of Dragons work day. What sounds like a small change is huge for my family. I am on my own for so many things he is usually by my side for. Tuesday starts another week with him working these long hours.

Last week was a crash and burn week. I was short tempered. Every thing frustrated me. Nothing went my way. I ended up with a sore backside and an improved temper when Dragon finally got tired of my attitude. Harder than a simple stress relief but it didn’t come with a lecture like a punishment would. It was simply an attitude adjustment. It worked for a few days. I know I should be more supportive right now. He does not have an easy job, nor does he work for people that are easy to please.

Already my mouth has started getting me in trouble this week. He cooked supper Sunday night. Burritos. It was an easy, fast meal for what had been a busy day. The table was covered in sewing supplies, so we decided to break the house rules and eat in the living room. He asked me to help the kids fix their plates. Most of our children are old enough to do that job for themselves. I called them to the kitchen and I was ignored. (probably because I was having an asthma attack and couldn’t speak much over a whisper) He fussed at me because I hadn’t helped them yet. I don’t know how to fix their plates. I haven’t don’t that for a few years now.

Ok you get the idea. Supper was a disaster. Tired Dad, Mom with an asthma attack and 4 kids that weren’t listening. And what do I do? The ever patient piece maker in the houses looses her temper. I couldn’t yell very loud but it wasn’t for lack of trying. I let him have it. I was frustrated with the crowded kitchen, the spices that triggered my breathing problems, getting fussed at and ignored all at the same time.

I had a major mommy melt down moment.

He gave me “the look”. I just knew I was going to get spanked. He sat down on the couch and ate his dinner in silence. I nibbled on an orange beside him, worried the entire time and all for nothing. I asked him about it just before bed.

“Yes, I thought about spanking you but I was too angry. I can’t take my frustration out on you.”
Should I be grateful he was that angry? I’m not. If I could take some of his worry away, I would. My hands are tied. All I can do is pray for him and for us.

I can feel my frustration building again. At him. At the children. I want to scream, “GET A GRIP PEOPLE!” I know who really needs to get a grip. That would be me. The kids are doing what they always do. He is dealing with the stress the best way he knows how. I need to do my job and make our home a restful place for him to come home to. I need to be the piece maker.

I don’t know how I’m going to handle this week. I pray that I can keep a positive attitude both inside and out. Let’s see if I can make it to the weekend without a sore backside.