Kneeling was once forbidden. Now it is almost a nightly ritual.
After dinner we go out to our little home gym and put on a movie. This is a chance for us to relax and reconnect. No kids at all. About 5 minutes into the movie I move from my chair to the floor at Dragon's feet. I take off my shirt and he removes my bra.
See why we don't allow the kids?
I'm not much of a movie watcher and get distracted by his hands. Yep, every night. I put a thin yoga block between his feet and kneel in front of him.
Kneeling is one of the most submissive positions for me. I kneel for only two reasons. To pray which is a position of submission to God and to show my Dragon that he is indeed my HOH. I don't kneel for BDSM games or in play. Only to show obedience and submission. It is a humbling position. A special one reserved for two purposes.
It was forbidden before because kneeling hurts Dragon and used to be very uncomfortable for me. I wasn't very limber and my thighs protested when I forced them to hold my body in such an unfamiliar position. As my fitness level improved, I got stronger and more flexible. Kneeling started to get more comfortable physically.
One night I showed Dragon. I knelt in front of him. I held the position for nearly an hour without any problems. He figured out that it puts me in a very submissive state of mind and that I can hold the position for long periods of time without harm.
Now kneeling is part of our nightly ritual. I watch most of the movie half nude, kneeling at his feet. Making my body available for him. Exposed to his eyes and his busy fingers. A pinched nipple lets me know when I do something to displease him.
After the movie I move over to the Roman bench. He lowers my pants and panties. I place my torso across the padded platform, displaying my assets for his pleasure. Some days he just inspects the skin, gives me a light swat with his hand and we are done. Most of the time he gives me 2-6 stinging swats with his paddle of choice. If I have had a hard day it can be as many as 30.
Trust me. 30 is plenty. I get up with tears in my eyes. These are usually close to full force. If he gives me a full 30 I know that he is really disappointed in my behavior and always comes with a lecture. On my knees, top half bare, pants and panties lowered to my knees. Bottom bright red and burning. Not a dignified position at all. Very humbling. It gets my attention every time. But still, it isn't a punishment.
With this new way we are doing TTWD I am almost afraid to see what a punishment will look like. But I absolutely trust Dragon. I know that whatever he does will be for my own good.
Tonight I will probably ask for 10 and he will probably increase that number to 15. I need some stress relief. If he ties my hands, I know it is going to be hard. I'll have to wait and see what happens.
For something once forbidden, Dragon sure makes use of the new tool in his arsenal. Who knows. I may end up on my knees with my cherry red backside on full display.
Thirty with a paddle seems a mighty number to me - you've come a long way. Sounds like a fun way to spend an evening.
ReplyDeleteThirty has me sitting on pillows the next day for sure. I'm learning how to ask for what I need. Before when he would ask for a number I gave him low numbers. I knew they would be hard swats but I am learning how to appreciate them now. Learning that those hard swats benefit me and I am more willing to ask for them. Thanks for all the encouragement you have given me. I don't know what I would do without my blogger friends. I don't know any spankos outside of blog land.
DeleteI think the key is( like we all know)to find what works for you. 30 may seem a lot or a little depending on so many things: the situation, the implement, your mindset, his intensity. The most wonderful aspect of this post is that you are willing to exit your comfort zone, and share with Dragon. Good on you!
ReplyDelete30 during play is barely a start. 30 for these nightly submission sessions is more significant. 30 for a punishment is mild for a punishment but still gets the message across and puts tear stains on my cheeks. I don't like pain but a good spanking makes this crazy life easier to handle. Giving myself permission to ask for those harder swats has been liberating. Thanks!
DeleteI have great respect for you Rose. My knees cannot stand long sessions of kneeling anymore, I get pins and needles. But I love your submissive ritual.
ReplyDeleteI also am required to kneel, but after spankings, and thankfully, on the bed. These sessions are when I am required to actively show Dan my submission in the way all men love. Although it seemed strange at first, I now look forward to it.
I love the way TTWD evolves. I would have never realised just how important it would become for us.
Many hugs
Ami
TTWD changes and evolves because we do. Over time we grow and our needs change. There was a time that kneeling would have seemed foolish to me and awkward. Now it is just as natural as breathing.
DeleteDragon does occasionally put me in that p oily position to please him in that certain way but he knows that I still struggle with it. He usually stops me at that very first touch. It is usually just an exercise in submission. He wants to know if I will obey. Some times I can and others it is to much.
This was a lovely post to read, and I do miss my kneeling time - I'm working on finding ways to get more opportunity for it.
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy for you.
Thank you. The great thing about kneeling is that it can appear very vanilla. We don't have enough seating space in our living room. I usually end up kneeling at his feet for family time too. Fully dressed of course.
DeleteDragon has taken kneeling to a new level. A lovely ritual...and good for you for being so open to all of it.
ReplyDeletehugs abby