Sassy Pants

This DD thing we do is 100% consensual!  Right? That means as a TiH I get a say in the rules and consequences.  Right?

Do you see where this is going?

It is a trap.  What I am really saying is that I want to make the rules and tell my HOH exactly how to enforce them.

Yep.  That works.

How long corner time should be.  How hard swats should be and just what an acceptable punishment is!  Yes.  I even get to say when I should get a punishment! Right?  I am 100% in control of TTWD.  it has absolutely nothing to do with what my HOH wants.  Nope. It is all about ME

Sounds a little selfish?

Yes, it does.  It sounds just like a toddler.  It is my way or you don't get to play.

I know that I fell into this trap when I first asked for DD.  I wanted it my way.  You know, like Burger King.  Fortunately, Dragon had other ideas.

He is the HOH and I am the TiH.  We discuss how things work but I don't always get my way.  He leads his way.  He does it in such a loving way that sometimes I don't even realize that he is doing it.

When he gives out a correction, it isn't necessarily a punishment. Sometimes it is just a gentle nudge in the right direction.  This thing we do is about relationship.  Admitting that two people can't steer the boat at the same time.  One boat can only go one direction at a time.

I may just be thinking to much.  Ya think?

Alternative Punishment

Dragon has been using some alternative punishments.

 In December he used a ginger fig. It burned.  It was uncomfortable but there is just one problem. I love to hate figging.  After we made love I had to ask if that was a punishment or funishment?  We decided on the second option.

This week he used the flogger.  No warm up.  Hard strikes from the very first swing.  He used the whip that I can the snake because it has a nasty bite.  By the time he was done, I was in sub space.  Was that a fail or a success?  I'm not sure.

He uses icy hot and toothpaste on my button when I need a heated reminder to be kind.  Some situations need that little extra something to keep things under control.  Like maybe my mouth and my southern creativity? This one is very effective.  It even helps me stay calm in the crowded mall.   With icy hot burning my bits I can stay for hours.  Without it I am done in less than 30 minutes.

Kneeling isn't always an option and again, I like it.  Standing in the corner just feels silly but I think that is the point. Dragon avoids both of those. Clothes pins are another punishment he hasn't used yet.  He has considered them a few times but changed his mind.  I HATE clips.  Nipples or clit, don't like them at all.

  He has used lines before.  Written with my dumb hand to make sure I spent enough time sitting on my sore backside.  Coloring in a child's coloring book is another common punishment he uses.  Act like a child, get treated like one.  No color pencils for me.  Nope, fat crayons.  Even a fat pencil for the lines.

Loss of panties is his favorite punishment.  Very uncomfortable for me especially in public.  He discreetly reaches into my waist, pulls up one side of my panties and cuts.  Garbage.  When the kids eventually move our he tells me that it won't just be my panties that I will do without.

Dragon has finally figured out that my backside isn't fragile. I can take a hard swing with the belt, paddle or flogger.  He has figured out that there is more than one way to punish.   I am looking forward to what he comes up with next.

Sunday

Dragon works every Sunday but it is usually a short day.  Just a few hours.  It seems that we have gotten into a new routine.

He gets home and goes to the garage to enjoy his wood working.  After an hour or so I join him.  I go to my little workout space and read my book until he is to a stopping point.  My space is curtained off with tarps to keep the saw dust out.  It is surprisingly effective.

Eventually he joins me and we put on a movie.  I take off my shirt and sit at his feet on the soft mats I have down.   After lots of touching he pulls me to my feet and finishes undressing me.  When I am completely nude he positions me to his satisfaction.  I can hear the zipper of the toy bag open and the shuffling sound  the paddle collection shift as he chooses one.

Sometimes I get a warm up.  If he makes sure I am comfortable before the first swats, I know this is going to be more fun than serious.  If he places my hands on the weight bench and puts his arm around my waist, I know that it will be more serious.  The fun kind comes with laughter and love making.  The more serious one comes with a lecture given between swats.

I never know what is coming until I am nude and he positions my bottom to receive the weekly spanking.  I never thought that I could look forward to the unknown.  Yes, I know that a spanking is going to happen.  I know we are going to have sex.  I just don't know what kind.

I start getting antsy after church and by the time he gets home from work I am a mess.  Desire, dread, day dreams, need, regret.  All wrapped up together.

Yesterday, when it was time, I couldn't breathe. Spring can be unpredictable and my lungs don't like the wind that seems to constantly blow this time of the year.  No spanking of any kind for me.  I took antihistamines and went to bed.

Today, my bumside almost aches.  I need to feel that paddle.  I need the soreness that lingers into Monday.  My body is telling me that something is missing.  It is missing the sting of the paddle.

Today was a long day at work for Dragon.  I doubt he would even feel up to a well earned punishment.  I could slam doors all over the house and he would say 'shhh'.  That's okay.  My backside will have to wait.

Update!  Dragon got home after 8.  I had dinner timed perfect.  I was putting hot food on the table as he walked in the door.  After dinner he wanted to glue up the top for the book shelf.  It is a cross between shaker and mission style.  Unique but will fit into our home perfectly.

I waited a few minutes and went to my little area of the garage.  He came in as soon as he had the clamps tightened down.  We watched our show and talked about our day.

When it came time for make up spanks, it was somewhere between fun and serious.  Hard, fast and to the point but with a warm up.  He even used the flogger.

I am feeling much better.

Why Does TTWD Work?

Why does the thought of getting a barn burner of a punishment put me in my happy space?

I have worried over the answer to that question for years.  Ever since that very first punishment and we had the hottest sex ever before my tears even slowed.

I have an answer.  Domestic discipline is more than just about paddling my backside.  It is more than just pain. The sting of the paddle is just a small part of it.  Think about all the minutes in a day.  How many of those minutes are spent getting a spanking?  Less than two minutes on a regular day.  I'll say as many as 5 minutes for a reminder or bad punishment. That isn't a lot of time.  And it is only a small part of this thing we do.

It is about relationship.  Mutual respect and paying attention to each others needs.  It isn't about him exercising his omniscient power over the little wife.  It isn't about changing who I am but about bringing us closer together.

On my last post you saw our hard rules. Just three.  That's it.  One is to keep me safe from my own forgetfulness.  The next is to break a bad habit I formed during hard times and only one of them is his own pet peeve. The most recent rule came because I asked for help.  I have to be up and dressed my 8:30. Workout and showered my 10.

 Why does that give me the warm fuzzies?  Even knowing that I have already earned a punishment, he set a new rule because he loves me.  Because he cares.  When he gets home from work he will paddle my bare backside until tears fall from my eyes because he loves me and want to help me get back on my feet.

I feel loved because he loves me enough to take the time to listen.  To take action when I really need it even when it isn't pleasant. Even when my tears hurt him.  He does it because it is what we need as a couple.  We are closer. We touch more, make love more, kiss more and talk more when he is stepping up into his role as HOH.

I am happier when I am Taken in Hand. More relaxed when I know what my role in our marriage is.  He is more relaxed at home and more efficient at work when he is stepping up into his role as HOH.

Because I respect him.  Because I respect myself and integrity is important, I will ask to go to the garage tonight when he gets home. I will admit how hard it was to follow the new rules today and that I was defiant. Not just lazy but defiant.  There is a difference.  Depression I could get away with, a few minutes late I could get away with but it is the bad attitude I will confess because it is the right thing to do.

In will cry as he lectures me and the paddle heats my behind.  Then I will probably kneel in front of him while we watch a movie and make love.  The damage I did will be repaired and my guilt will be erased.  Tomorrow, when 8:30 rolls around my backside will still be sore.  I'll have one more reason to get up and move.

At the end of the day, we will both be in a better place.  I will feel absolutely loved because he took the time to help me beat these bad habits.  He will respect me for my honesty and forgive my defiance.  What has been a wedge in our relationship has turned into healing for both of us.

I get it now.

I am Taken in Hand.  I know that I am loved by my Dragon.

New Rules

Dragon has always been consistent with three rules.

1. Seat belt use
2. No cussing
3. No slamming doors

Just three little pet peeves he enforces even when all other aspects of DD seem to be gone and forgotten.

Now there is going to be something new.  A schedule to be followed.

My health stays on a roller coaster.  Up and down. This last down sent me into a downward spin.  Now that I am feeling much better I am having a hard time breaking my old habits.  The routine I followed out of necessity while I was at my sickest just keeps hanging on.

I asked for help and Dragon has decided to put me on a schedule. 15 minute tasks.  I am going to be micromanaged until I can do it on my own.   Enforced with the paddle.

This is the first time he has suggested something like this. We have tried schedule before but it was my idea. He didn't want to do it.  This is his idea.  I wonder if this is going to be another flop or if it is going to be a 4th rule that sticks.

Only my bottom will know.

Dragon has been sticking to the morning and evening swats.  Sunday reminders have been consistent and Wednesday has been added to the mix.  10-15 not so fun swats.  Somehow I think he is going to stick to it.  I won't be testing him any time soon.

Ps. I will be traveling soon.  My daughter's due date is approaching quickly. May 23 is the magic number. I am going out there to get her house ready a few weeks early.  Prayer for safe travels, a stress free trip and a healthy delivery!

Poor Dragon

He has gotten a taste of being a HOH again and he is hooked.  We are deep in the city.  Where parking spaces are rare and walking is the norm.  Our kids are playing in a music festival.  Fun stuff.  And all Dragon can think about is spanking my backside.

He is a man on a mission.

Every time I turn around he is showing me what is on his mind.  Whispered words, telling me what he is going to do to me as soon as we are alone.  A full-handed squeeze right where the belt left a sore spot.  Random swats and the caveman ponytail pull.

If he does everything he has hinted at, I won't be sitting for a week.  TWO weeks even!  He has my attention!  His PTSD is still here.  It never goes away but he isn't in a crisis.  I can identify his triggers again. And boy what a challenge.

He went from absolutely ZERO at home to obsessed. And he is obsessed with my backside!  I am loving this.  He asked me to read more books than would turn my switch on.  Naturally I asked for Corbins Bend books.  He delivered!

I love reading about ladies getting their first fun spanking and then a punishment.  Dragon loves listening to me retell the stories. An oral book report maybe?

I hope this lasts!  Morning and evening swats.  Daily tasks and the old rules are back.  

We are out on the town and he can't do what he wants to do.  Poor Dragon. He wants to yank my pants and panties down.  He wants to blister my backside and take his pleasure.

He has to wait.  Poor thing.

Soon Dragon.  When we get home you can have your way with me.

What Was That????

It wasn't a punishment.

Or was it?

Maybe?

I don't even know.  I just know that my fanny is on fire and probably a little more than just pink.  Dragon has learned a few things or remembered them?

How did I end up with a flaming fanny?  Long story but since you asked....

I have really missed spanking.  Fun ones, stress relievers and even punishment.  Yes, they are all different.  Over the spanking draught I broke the rules.  You remember them I am sure.  The 4 Ds?  Disobedience, Disrespect, Dangerous and Dishonesty.  I even bratted trying to get his attention.  I broke the rules and then some.

I didn't apologise.  I just kept doing what I wanted to do.  I slammed the door multiple times.  That is Dragon's biggest pet peeve.  Forgot my seatbelt.  Forgot my asthma medicine.  The List goes on and on.  The guilt doesn't bother me until the sun goes down.

After a week of sunrise spanks, I thought it was time to mention my guilt to Dragon.  He seems to be getting more comfortable turning my lower cheeks red than he has been in years.  I needed something more than just a few stinging smacks on my behind.

I haven't earned a punishment this week.  A punishment wasn't going to happen but I still needed to release the guilt.  The confessional helps but it isn't a priest that I needed forgiveness from.  It was Dragon.

Do you have any idea how hard that was?  Dragon called me on his lunch break today and I confessed.  All of it.  I asked for a spanking to cleanse the slate.  Not the little taps I had been getting but a real barn burner.

I will admit, I had my doubts.  Dragon refused to give me an answer.  I knew that he was going to spank me. He has every night this week. I just didn't know what kind.

He called me out to the garage and locked the door.  The piano bench was moved to the center of the room.  With my hands on the bench, he lifted my dress and pushed my panties down.  No protection for this one.  "Do you know that I love you? Do you know that I would never hurt you?"  After a short lecture that covered the last few months, the first swat hit.  It felt like liquid fire hitting my backside.  He continued to lecture me between swats. They landed fast but not so fast that he couldn't speak.

I counted them.  One, two, three, four, five.  I didn't know how many he planned to give or if he would make the swats just a little softer.  Six, seven and eight came very fast and just as hard.  I didn't know if I could take any more.  Nine, ten.

He pushed my panties back into place over my throbbing backside.  His arms brought comfort and he whispered "it is over"  I didn't cry.  Not over a "not a punishment" spanking but it was close.  My eyes were damp.  It has been a few hours and I still feel the heat.

Did that take care of the guilt? I don't know.  Let's wait and see if I sleep tonight.

Logic.  He spanks my backside so hard my eyes water and the sting lasts for hours.  And I'm hungry?  I can't keep my panties dry.  All I want is him.  I don't understand but I like it.

Morning after update!  Even though my backside is sore, Dragon still insisted on morning swats.  Several of them and they weren't light. Then he called me from the parking lot and reminded me that I am to use the plug.  That it is more than just staying ready to be taken.  He wants me to think about obedience and submitting to him even though he is at work.

Something about his HOH dominant attitude makes me weak in the knees.  I am totally TIH

Subspace and Safe words

We play hard but it has been a while since we have really had a scene that pushed limits.  The BELT pushed me hard.



It was a hard limit but not anymore.  I actually enjoyed it.  It has a biting sting that feels so different from the paddle or even the flogger.  I had to get past my fear of it to even begin to experience what the belt can do.  Pure pleasure.

As always Dragon started slow and easy.  First with his hand and then with the paddle.  Round one, he didn't even take off his belt.  Round two he warmed my backside up again, turning it a nice cherry red with the paddle.  When he felt me relax into the scene, the belt came off.

Kiss the leather and receive the benefits.  Lots of touching and caressing.  He made sure we stayed connected.  Swat, swat, touch. Rinse, repeat.  Slowly the light taps began to sting and finally bite hard.  Pleasant in a way that only a spanko could understand.

Every time a sound escaped my mouth, Dragon checked in for a safe word.  Green most of the time with just a few yellows.   As I began to sink into subspace, my answers came slower.  He ended everything when I couldn't answer him.

I was right on the edge.  Almost there and he ended it.

I understand why.  It was the belt and the fact that it has been so long.  He didn't want to scare me or do any damage.  It was for our pleasure.  For both of us. And when I can't respond, it is harder for him to judge how I am doing.

He said that I didn't sound right.  It was probably just the way I am going to react to the belt but he couldn't be sure.

Better safe than sorry.  It will take a few hard belt spankings to be sure.

He left me wanting more and with something new, that isn't a bad thing.  Sunday has been designated spanking day.  Not just one session but several.  I am sure the belt will be a regular part of our spanking routine.

Bad news.  My fanny isn't bruised.  Good news?  It is nice and sore.  He even gave me a few stinging swats before he left today.

Dragon really is back.  Happy dance!

The BELT!

I have a blind, absolute, world domination fear of the belt.  I would even call it a phobia.

But

Phobias can be overcome.  With patience, time and a LOT of hard work.

Dragon started with letting me see it in he's hand.  Then I had to kiss the belt before a paddling.  First just a touch on bare skin and then a tap or two.

Ever so gentle.  Dragon introduced me to the belt.  Slowly he built my confidence and erased the terror.

Tonight Dragon started with the paddle.  Just small little taps.  My bottom had to be prepared.  Slowly, he increased the intensity.  A little sting, a stronger sting and finally a real swats.

Yowza!  That man can swing a paddle.  Right on the sweet spot too!

Then came the belt.  Gentle at first.  Kissing, touching, soothing.  Then a little harder. Kiss the belt and a few more taps.

Then he really got down to business and I loved it.  No fear!  Simply sensation!  Just like the paddle and the floggers.  I could enjoy the stinging bite that is unique to the belt.

It won't take much to bring the fear back but I'll call tonight a success.

My fanny is multi colored and sore.  Just the way I like it.  All thanks to the belt!