At 13 I had just started taking an interest in chapter books. I read everything I could get my hands on. But…. Some books were off limits. The books my mom and grandmother read all the time. They didn’t look all that special to me but they were always reading the things. I wasn’t allowed to even read the back cover. What does a teenager do when told no? Sneak! I was left at home alone a lot. I had plenty of time to take a peek. I was hooked.
Hero meets heroine. They hate each other, they fight, they make up. He is always a manly man who takes control and she always swoons at his feet like a good little woman. In the historical romances, that manly man would put the little woman over his knee, flip up her skirt and blister that bare bottom. Using his hand, a belt or brush he would make his point crystal clear. I never liked the detailed sex parts of the books but the spanking scenes had to be read twice.
In a society that values female power, why are these books so popular? In reality I was fighting for my freedom from a male dominated word. In the privacy of my small bedroom, I longed for a take charge man. Ironic isn’t it? When I read about a man carrying a box for a lady, I thought how romantic but you wouldn’t see me admitting I needed the help of a man. Gasp! A fictional man holds the door open for a lady. What a gentleman. In real life, I thought differently. What a jerk.
I looked at the boys around me. They were pushovers. I saw them as weak. They did everything “right” by the little rule book in my head but it didn’t feel right. She bossed him, she got her way and he let her. GIRL POWER! ! ! Ok, now you know why I didn’t date in high school. I couldn’t date a boy I thought was weak. That was just wrong. I wanted a strong man, a romantic man, not a honey do man.
So where does this need for DD come from? If it is such a bad thing to submit to your husband and be spanked, why do we read so much about it? I know that not every teenage girl reads the trash novels. This is how I think the idea was planted into my head. Studies on submission at church reinforced the idea. Finding a place that my submission was acceptable made it possible to make ttwd a reality. My submission enabled my husband to step up and become the HOH he is.
I think that there is a need to submit hard wired into the female brain. The need is there but pressures from society sometimes over ride that programming. A small minority of women over come this brainwashing. I left an abusive household where fear was the rule of the day. I stepped into a permissive one. Now, my home is becoming a sanctuary of piece, harmony and love under the leadership of my husband. I know what abuse is. I have felt that fear. What I feel now is the opposite of fear. I am a wife, taken in hand by her husband and I feel loved.
Ps. I read an article after I wrote this that suggested something quite different. He thinks that the rape scenes in the book are why woman read them so much and why we ask for DD. WHAT? let me tell you this. I have been there done that. NO WOMAN EVER CRAVES TRUE RAPE. Fantasy and fun are ok. But Rape is a crime of violence and something I could never forgive. DD is consensual. Rape is a not.
Hero meets heroine. They hate each other, they fight, they make up. He is always a manly man who takes control and she always swoons at his feet like a good little woman. In the historical romances, that manly man would put the little woman over his knee, flip up her skirt and blister that bare bottom. Using his hand, a belt or brush he would make his point crystal clear. I never liked the detailed sex parts of the books but the spanking scenes had to be read twice.
In a society that values female power, why are these books so popular? In reality I was fighting for my freedom from a male dominated word. In the privacy of my small bedroom, I longed for a take charge man. Ironic isn’t it? When I read about a man carrying a box for a lady, I thought how romantic but you wouldn’t see me admitting I needed the help of a man. Gasp! A fictional man holds the door open for a lady. What a gentleman. In real life, I thought differently. What a jerk.
I looked at the boys around me. They were pushovers. I saw them as weak. They did everything “right” by the little rule book in my head but it didn’t feel right. She bossed him, she got her way and he let her. GIRL POWER! ! ! Ok, now you know why I didn’t date in high school. I couldn’t date a boy I thought was weak. That was just wrong. I wanted a strong man, a romantic man, not a honey do man.
So where does this need for DD come from? If it is such a bad thing to submit to your husband and be spanked, why do we read so much about it? I know that not every teenage girl reads the trash novels. This is how I think the idea was planted into my head. Studies on submission at church reinforced the idea. Finding a place that my submission was acceptable made it possible to make ttwd a reality. My submission enabled my husband to step up and become the HOH he is.
I think that there is a need to submit hard wired into the female brain. The need is there but pressures from society sometimes over ride that programming. A small minority of women over come this brainwashing. I left an abusive household where fear was the rule of the day. I stepped into a permissive one. Now, my home is becoming a sanctuary of piece, harmony and love under the leadership of my husband. I know what abuse is. I have felt that fear. What I feel now is the opposite of fear. I am a wife, taken in hand by her husband and I feel loved.
Ps. I read an article after I wrote this that suggested something quite different. He thinks that the rape scenes in the book are why woman read them so much and why we ask for DD. WHAT? let me tell you this. I have been there done that. NO WOMAN EVER CRAVES TRUE RAPE. Fantasy and fun are ok. But Rape is a crime of violence and something I could never forgive. DD is consensual. Rape is a not.
The social barriers for both male and female are real and prohibitive of a Dd relationship. I know from personal experience that a large part of being an effective HoH is overcoming those deeply ingrained barriers in my own psyche. I wonder if it's harder for men than it is for women?
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ReplyDeleteB’man It took me years to make the decision to submit to my husband. I had to get out of the drivers seat before he was able to step into position. I did it so slowly over time that I’m not sure he noticed at first. Who had the harder time making this change? I don’t know. It was hard for both of us but worth it.
ReplyDeletevblogger Thanks for leaving a comment. It was good. I wish you had left it.