Good Memories

When I first married Dragon, we went to the gym several times a week.  He worked me hard.  150 lbs was a lot for a girl that didn't weigh 110.   The gym was our time together.

We worked every part of our bodies.  Back, chest, arms, and legs. Dragon sculpted my body like a master.  The muscles I developed seem to eat what little fat I had.

Gone.  Little by little

Fast forward several years.  Make that over 20

We are both out of shape and over weight.  Both of us know we are well past our prime.  My body won't win any contests or even finish a race.  Our goal isn't to pass a pt test or impress the guys at the fire department.

Our goal is simple.

To be healthy.  To get our weight under control, increase flexibility and move.  We both have chronic health issues.  We both struggle but we are still trying.

Every time we go to the gym, I smile.  I remember those early days of our marriage.  Our love for each other was blooming.  Today our bodies are wearing out.  Other people probably don't see us as good looking.  But I know what I see when I look at him.  I see the man I love with every fiber of my being.

Dressing for a Wedding

I have been a space cadet for the last few days.  I had a last minute project for the bride and have been working like crazy to get it done.  Everything has revolved around the project.

I finally finished about an hour before we had to leave.  Clean, showed and conditioned I started the process of dressing.

First the stockings.  On one foot, then the other.  All the way up and then I figured it out.

Oops

I forgot my panties!

I was too tired to fix the oversight.  Dressed, without panties....

Blag.

What a day

The Attraction of Rope

What keeps me coming back for more bondage? I think it is time to share a little bit of it on my little blog.

Sorry.  No photos.  My hands are all tied up and my Dragon just a little busy.

For rope play, first you have to absolutely trust the person who has the rope. There is nothing worse in this life than realising you are completely helpless and trusted the wrong person.  If you don't have that trust, you can't fully experience the pleasure of the ropes.  Waiting for him to cross a hard limit.

Rope is all about feeling.  Feeling the rope against bare skin.  The tightness and texture.  It is emotional.  Helpless.  Powerful.  Humiliating.  Restricting.  Freedom!  Security. Safety.  Risk taking.

Do you see a little conflict there?

You have to be safe.  Rope can do permanent, lasting damage.  Don't just get rope and go at it. Find someone with real knowledge and learn how to play safe.

All tied up, I don't have to be in control.  I don't have to think about anything other than the rope and what I am feeling. Love it.

Everything comes back to rope.  This is where our kinky adventures began.

All Tied Up

Bondage is the next best thing to impact play and last night, I got all tied up!  Fun night.  Jute rope has an interesting feel.  It took minutes for me to drop off into the edge of sub space.  Love that feeling.

It is called rope night.  Supposedly to learn but I really think it is just a chance for the tops to find a willing bottom.  Fun stuff.

Back in the real world I made a decision. Instead of being overwhelmed by the piles of laundry that need to be washed and folded I am going to be thankful.  We have clothes to wear, a washer to get them clean and a place to put our nice clean clothes away.

Life is good.  Bondage, spanking and clean clothes.  :-)

Answers

From Facebook?

Yep

I saw a suggested link that mentioned language issues.  Aphasia.  Now it has a name. One of those scary thing that doctors have blown off. At times, I can't understand spoke language.  The article was about migraine headaches.

Then I took a trip over to Web md.

• Severe, throbbing pain, often on one side of your head
• A pins-and-needles feeling, often moving from your hand up your arm
• Numbness on one side of your body, which can include your arm, leg, and/or one side of your face
• Weakness or paralysis on one side of your body
• Loss of balance and coordination
• Visual aura, such as seeing zigzag lines, double vision, or blind spots
• Language difficulties, such as mixing words or trouble remembering a word
• Slurred speech
• Dizziness or vertigo
• Nausea and vomiting
• Extreme sensitivity to light, sound, and smell
• Confusion
• Decreased consciousness or coma

Wow!  This describes everything!  Dragon says that it looks like I am having a stroke.  It is scary.  One side of my face droops, I can't understand language, getting lost on familiar streets, falling, dropping things.  The flashing lights, the way things look shiny. 

All of this goes right back to the migraines. 

An MD called them rebound headaches. Two neurologists called me a faker.  I was afraid.  Still am even though I know it gets better. Dropping a jug of cranberry juice at the grocery store makes a huge mess. Admitting that I can't understand what someone is saying is embarrassing but they get frustrated when I keep saying "what?"  

I'm not a whiner or a squeaky wheel.  When I am told that I am a faker, I assume that no one will believe me. 

I am going to make a list and keep a headache journal. When I have everything together I am going to ask!  "Could all of this be linked to my migraines?" and ""What can be done about it?"

I never would have linked all of those things together.  Just wow.  Facebook?  Yep.  

This is a strange world we live in. 

A Gentle Reminder

Dragon doesn't stay triggered all the time.  Most of the time he is his usual, happy self.  Sunday he showed me that the rules didn't go out the window.

 I don't remember where we were going but something was forgotten in the house.  No idea what.  We were running very late.  I ran back in the house, grabbed the forgotten item and hopped back in the car.

And we were off....

For the second time...

And I forgot my seatbelt.

Oops.  That is one of Dragon's pet peeves.  Seatbelts will be worn.  No excuses. No exceptions.

Instead of a trip to the garage, I got a gentle warning.  He will give me a few before he decides to take care of the seat of the problem. If I keep forgetting my seatbelt, he won't hesitate and it won't be fun.

Yep.  Dragon is still my Dragon.  That didn't change.  The only difference is that I told you how bad the ptsd gets at times.

Ps.  If. IF we can get the ada letter withdrawn he should be promoted to a full time position in a few months.  Cross your fingers.  JOB security...  imagine that?  AND  40 hour work weeks.

Yes please.

Living With PTSD

Things have leveled out again but living with PTSD is a little like this.

It is a wild ride.  Emotions are turned all the way on or completely off. Anger, fear, happiness.  All of it.

The wild ride continues....

This is what we deal with every day.  Yes, we are still a DD couple and kinky.  We love to play and explore the more serious side.  The structure actually helps.

One day at a time.