It has been a long time since a spanking has brought me to tears. I crave them but they just won't fall. The tears give me a little extra release that the paddle just can't bring.
Why do the tears fall so rarely? It has nothing to do with pain. I deal with pain every day.
So what is it?
Part of it is seeing Dragon's disappointed face. When I have done something truly nasty and we both know it. I hate seeing that look on his face. If my own guilt is bad enough I'll start crying before the first swat falls.
Sometimes I go into a spanking defiant. "I didn't do anything wrong! You are the one that is wrong." These tears come after. During that quiet time after a punishment while I am trying to pull to pull myself back together. The guilt hits and Dragon knows those tears are a signal that I am ready for the real punishment to begin.
Yes, I get spanked a second time. Think barn burner. The second round usually leaves marks that last a while. It is a spanking I don't forget.
Sometimes the tears just come. After a few swats my eyes start to water and before I know it I am a mess. Or after the spanning is over I'll cry in his arms.
What is it about those tears? No matter how they started or why we always end up making love. The slow and gentile kind that takes a while and leaves us both spent.
My tears give us both something that nothing else can.
Update on the spider bite:
One week later and it is finally getting smaller. Yesterday I tried to cut down my benadryl dose. It makes me so sleepy that I hate taking it during the day. Big mistake. The hives came back worse than ever. Miserable.
The pain I can only compare to a dental procedure gone terribly wrong. It felt like bees attacking my side day in and day out. The hives feel like little bugs creeping across my skin.
The red halo around the bite is much smaller. The bruising where the bite is shrank. It is slowly getting better. I can move without screaming.
We suspect a brown recluse spider. Much worse than the wolf spider bite I had in Utah.
If you really think it was a brown recluse I suggest you get to a doctor. You need antibiotics - Benedryl probably won't do it.
ReplyDeleteWe are watching it for now. Everything was closed for Thanksgiving when I was bitten. By the time the doctors office opened it was starting to feel better. I am watching it close. Neosporin and benadryl. I didn't want to go the ER unless my life was in danger.
DeleteOh Rose...I do know understand about the tears...sometimes I just know I would feel better if I could cry and others, I read the wrong story and burst into tears but they aren't cleansing. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteSomehow I missed your last post...I am so sorry about the bite! Please do watch the bite carefully as a brown recluse can cause horrible tissue damage. To help with the hives, I would suggest soaking in a warm tub with cider vinegar and baking soda (about 1 cup of each). Sending lots of prayers and healing energy.
Hugs and Blessings...
Cat
There is a spot we are watching in the center of the bite. A long soak sounds like a great idea. I just didn't know what to add to the water. Thanks
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