Learning and Exploring Our Faith

Every week we learn something new in our RCIA classes.   A face book Page I follow seems to follow the lessons from week to week.  This week the fb page talked about home alters and in class about using holy water every day in our own home.   Then the homily was about prayer and visual reminders in our homes.

Think... Think..... Think....

We talked about setting something small up in our home.   Not much.   Just that visual reminder.   A small fountain filled with holy water and a candle.   It was enough to remind us to pray together before Dragon left for work. It ddidn't replace my morning prayers time but was something new.   It was a perfect way to begin the day.

I am still reading the Bra maker's book.   It is endlessly complicated but doable.   It will be added to my resume in no time.   I am going to use a commercial pattern for now and see how that goes.   After a few I am going to order enough of the fabric for matching panties and garter belt.   Big busted women need petty things too!

Putting on the garter is getting easier.   It just takes a little practice to get that back clip fastened.   Dragon loves them and I feel more dressed while wearing them.  

Nothing fun to share from last week.   I wasn't feeling myself.   Fall is the height of asthma season for me.   This to shall pass.   The headaches are still here.   It is a great time to study my new books and learn.

Lesson of the day

Bra design is complicated.

My new bra book just came in the mail.   I have been reading for about 30 minutes and I feel brain fried.   I think I am going to take a break before I get overwhelmed.  

Shower and a cup of hot tea.   Then back to it.   No wonder I can't find a good fitting bra in the store.   There is SO much to it.

Garter belt

So excited.   It finally came in the mail yesterday.   Dragon wants me in a dress when he gets home with my new stockings on.   Giggles.

Looking at it,  I have already picked out a few ways to improve the design.   I'll be making my own in no time.  I can get everything Inneed from bra-maker's supply.   I found some really cute stockings at the Baby girl boutique.   Drool

Dragon really likes the seam going up the leg and a bow at the top.   He said it is very feminine.   He likes a girly girl.   No tom boy for my Dragon.  

I have a dress picked out.   This morning, I am going to work on a pattern for my own design.   Now that I have seen a quality garter belt,  I can get creative and make my own.   No,  I am not going to copy someone else's design.   I just had no idea of where to start.   I wanted a wearable garment.   Not a disposable play item that is garbage after just a few hours.  

I wonder if I will be getting a good girl spankingthis eevening?  

Hmmmmm

A girl can hope.

Ginger

Unfortunately, we didn't get much use out of our play space in the garage this summer.   Now that the weather is cooling down, it will get even less use.   This makes privacy hard to come by.

But Dragon has stepped up TTWD.   How is he going to do that with less privacy?

Ginger

Two times in the last week he has led me into the bedroom with a finger of ginger hidden in his hand.  He treated it more like a maintenance session than pleasure.   It sure did put me into a more submissive state of mind.

He had me remove all of my clothing and lay on my belly.   He placed the finger and had me roll over to place a second slice on the clit.   All I can say is WOW. I don't think he was even using super charged ginger.   This stuff was pretty fresh.   But wow did it ever burn.  

Dragon left it in place while he talked about what he expected for the week and then began to change the feel of the scene.   As usual it turned into lovemaking.  

He removed the burning ginger and showed me just how much he loves me.  

It was a good week.  

Life is always going to be hard but when things are as they should be at home,  it doesn't seem quite so bad.

Taking a Risk

The weather is beautiful this week.   Lows in the 40s and highs in the low 70s.   We have had a few rare rain showers.  Not enough to even touch the severity of the drought but enough to make the weeds in the yard grow.  

It is really starting to look bad.  

So what would the risky behavior be?   Cutting the grass or rather,  the weeds.   I know it is fall but down here in the south, things are green.   My yard looks like an overgrown weed patch.   Since I have been on orders to rest, the yard has been neglected.  

Dragon approved walking but not yard work.   I am risking a painful behind.   With the belt and floggers now on the table,  I am a bit worried but not enough to stop me.   No one else will get out there and get it done.

Hoping for the best....

Rest

Over a month of rest and I a still not back.   I have had enough!   The books Dragon has purchased for me were all very nice.  Two a week.   That is not a record but it is close.  

The goal is to walk one mile.  Last time I tried to walk was a disaster.   The price was to high. The plan is to walk and immediately take a rest break.

I have to move.   All this resting is starting to get depressing.  

With Dragon's approval of course.   I don't want a "P"  on top of a headache.   That would be very bad.

Changes

Dragon was flogging me.   Each stroke felt like it was timed by a metronome.   He started talking.   Dragon NEVER talks like this during a scene but this time he did.  

I would really like to start using the floggers for punishment.   Pleasure on your back, punishment on your backside.  

He paused just a second and landed a few strokes on my backside.   Yowza!  It hurt more than the belt.   He was using the flogger I call the snake.   It has a deep,  stinging, biting touch that makes me squeal every time he uses it.  

See?   It has a nice bite to it.  I think this will really get the point across.  

Oh crap!  What have I gotten myself into?   Dragon did say that the intensity of a punishment has been re set.   Since it has bee so llong he wants to start back with a slightly less intense level.   He doesn't want me calling red in the middle of things.  

He has taken quite an interest in my backside.  TTouching, swatting.   He even ordered a new garter belt.   This one isn't one of the cheap silly things you can buy from Victoria Secrets.   This one is intended for every day wear.   I wonder what he has in mind?   Guess I will find out soon.

A new position

The garage was chilly so Dragon only had me remove my t shirt for the flogging.   He had me kneeling with my hands on the floor and head tilted forward.   It is a position I can maintain even when the scene gets intense.  

When he finished with that part of the entertainment,  he rubbed my stinging back and helped me dress.   But he wasn't finished.   Nope!  He took my hands and helped me to my feet.   Jeans and panties came off next.  

I was expecting the usual OTK but that didn't happen.  Not even close.   He had me kneeling just like before and pushed me down into child's pose.   He straddled my body and took care of my backside.   That position is very intense.   Everything is pulled tight and even a small tap stings.   The humiliation of the position does something to my head.   It is very humbling.

He left me in that position after he finished with the paddle and belt.   Next thing I know he is kneeling between my feet.   Only in deep sub space would I submit to that.   WOW! I am not going to go into detail about the sex but it was good.  

All this happened after his speech yesterday morning.   I think he means business.   Todays task is easy.   Color a picture.  I have a simple box of 8 crayons.  Nothing fancy.   It is a time to reflect on my role in our marriage.   I will be in sub space again by the time I have finished the simple picture.

Yep.  Dragon is back.

Dragon speak

Today is a federal holiday and Dragon has the day off.   We took a little time to catch up on the pleasure side of our relationship.   He flogged me into sub space.  When I was laying at his feet basking in the afterglow of the scene,  he started thinking out loud.

Dragon speak :

I really like it when you are as submissive as you are right now.   I can tell you to do something and you will do it.   When DD is in full swing you are like this all the time.  I need to stop using the excuse that I am too tired to take care of business.   I miss this.

Do I really need to say it?

Yeah!!!

I don't like punishment but I love feeling submissive.   I love the effect it has on Dragon. Everything is elevated.   Sex is better and happens more often.   We both sleep better.  We communicate better.

While I dread the hard parts,  I am already feeling the positive.   I want his hands on me.   I crave the paddle and the makeup sex after.   I can't concentrateon a story book .   Not feeling like I do right now.

And he did it.   With his words after the scene.   Ginger,  flogging and and a partial fisting.   Purrrfect!  And Dragon has promised that there is more to come.

So.....   How long before I am writing about a punishment?

Shivers

Our day ended with more flogging (my back is sore),  the paddle and a very submissive wife.   No punishment but I avoid those automatic spanking triggers as much as I can.   Dragon doesn't want me walking around on eggshells
 He simply misses the dynamic.   About time!   Tonight, I will sleep good!

Balance in DD

Some women almost never get punished in a dd relationship.   Some women walk around on eggshells, afraid to move.   They get punished almost every day for little things.   DD should be somewhere between those two extremes.  

Dragon tends toward the almost never end of the extremes.   He doesn't want me to be afraid of him or afraid to move.   But there are some things that mean an immediate punishment.   Slammed doors,  cussing,  out of control temper.   I have been spanked for each of thesejjust once.   I have learned to listen to his warnings.

Sometimes he will ask,  'Do you need a punishment for that?'  You can guess what my answer is.   NO!   But if he has to ask the question, my answer should be yes.  I think Dragon is over cautious but with both of us having some level of PTSD, that caution is a very good thing.   I'll just have to do better and say yes when he asks that question.  

We talked about it last night some.   We both agreed to do better.  The rule now is that if he asks that question, the answer is yes.   I really hate punishment so my answer will always be no.  He doesn't like to punish me and he accepts that answer.   We both need to realize that if the question is asked it should be yes.  

I know my writing sounds a little mixed up and confused this morning.   My mind feels fogged over.   I woke to the facial painthis mmorning.  So bad that we stayed home.   I couldn't handle church this morning.   Dragon gave me some Benadryl and I went back to bed.   Needless to say, breakfast was very late but I am feeling much better.   Just groggy.

Steep Decline

My health seems to be on the decline.   Again. ..   Just when I really start making fitness goals and reaching then, I hit a road block.   I am down for now but not out.   I'll be back on my feet, fighting for every inch as soon as I can.   Working harder than ever.

The sicker I get,  the worse Dragon gets.   I hate this.   It almost seems like our issues are connected.   Something triggers his PTSD and my headaches start getting worse.   He gets worse and we both spiral down.   Stress, worry and absolute love are the link.

Not sure how to get out of it.   But we are both trying.

Maybe if we can get back on track with the fun stuff.  Spanking, scening and ropes.  We can get the rest back on track too.

Finding Comfort

It is strange,  the things that I find comfort in.  Comfort, security and the knowledge that I am loved.  

At night, I find comfort in Dragon cupping my sex in his hand.   Not fondling or playing, just holding.  It is something no one else on this earth can do.  Just him.  

I also take comfort from dd.   Knowing that he is on top of things.   Knowing that he is in control and says the final word makes my world a better place.  And when things just don't feel right, a good, clear the air spanking brings things back into balance.  Sometimes it takes a good old fashioned punishment to really do the trick.  

Yes,  I just admitted that I find punishment comforting.   I feel fear before it begins, shame that I have forced him to treat me like a child, and humiliated.   We both find the entire process a bit embarrassing.   Not sure why.  We have been dd for years now and spankos for even longer.   The punishment itself is miserable for both of us but the reward comes after.

He is in his proper place.  The head of our family.   I know he loves me enough to make sure that I am doing my very best.    Even though my bottom stings and my face is just as red as my bottom,  I feel comforted.   In his arms, crying,  I know that all is right in the world.  

I thanked Dragon today for stepping up.   I have been sick lately and he has been there the entire time.  Extra rest, small tasks and taking care of me.   He hasn't had a reason to punish and he will do everything he can to avoid it while I am hurting.   But I know that he will do what needs to be done.  

And that is comforting.  

  

Politicians

Who thinks politicians from all parties need to be horse whipped?

Me!!!!

I have had enough of this foolishness.   They need to play nice in the sand box and quit using us as a litter box.  

Grrrr.

Okay.   I feel better now