We have been working on balance. Dragon mentioned that privacy is a factor. With the move this summer, I am not surprised. But there is more to it than that. I’ll do something in public this displeases him and he forgets about it when we have privacy. So we have worked out an early warning system.
Remember the stop light safe words?
Red All STOP
Yellow I don’t like how that feels. Ick.
Green Like that! Keep going!
The early warning system is similar but for Dragon instead of me.
That’s 1 – Are you sure you want to keep doing that? You are getting close to breaking a rule.
That’s 2 – You broke a rule. Let’s talk about it when we get home.
That’s 3 – We WILL take care of this when we get home and you won’t like it.
They can come in any order at any time. He can call 3 without calling 1 or 2. It is a way to let me know in public that I have done something he doesn't like. He can let me know that we will talk about it latter or that I have an appointment with the paddle. I like that. Not sure how it is going to work out. We will have to give it a little time and see.
He wants to bring back maintenance too. I’m not so sure about that one. We stopped because I couldn’t handle it. Knowing that I was going to be spanked at a specific time for a week’s worth of misdemeanors was too much. Spanking wasn’t fun anymore. Kinky play wasn’t fun. I couldn’t do it. He stayed more consistent with DD but it was doing more harm than good.
This time it is his idea. He wants to do it. I’ll give it a try. The safe words are there for a reason. I can always call red.