How do you find that balance between submission, mercy and punishment.
Most important I think is my own submission. I do little things to show him how much I love him but then I let some things slide. An example is making the bed. I hate making the bed every morning and think that it is ok to let it slide just one day. One day turns into two and then into three. Dragon didn't say anything but I know he noticed.
Why didn't he call me on it? I think he wants my submission to come from the heart and fear. If he punished me every time I deserved it, I would live in fear. Neither one of us want that. A marriage based on fear is one doomed to fail. I know I couldn't live that way.
Another way I frequently fail is whining my way out of a punishment. I know I have broken a rule. I know what is coming but when he calls me on bad behavior I can't seem to stop it. I am very good at making excuses for bad behavior. Finding just the right excuse to put a seed of doubt in his mind.
Where is that balance? Punished enough to hold me accountable but I am still submitting willingly? Yes, I I I I.... Selfish.
I know I am not perfect. I earn at least 2 punishments a week just from language. I asked him to make a goal of one punishment a month. I need to know what to expect. We need to find that balance between his needs and mine. Between submission and obedience.