I thought missing him would be something of the past. I thought civilian life would mean no more deployments and I would never ache to feel his arms around me again. He isn't gone overnight but he works some long hours. 15 hours today and that doesn't even count his commute time. I miss sitting down and eating supper as a family. I miss sitting on the bar stool while he cooks. I miss him scolding me because I didn't get my task done for the day.
Now he just isn't here. When he gets home he wants a shower and bed. Sometimes he wants the plate I saved for him. Most of the time he is too tired to eat. He is loosing wight so fast. A belt he has had for years is suddenly too big. He hasn't been home during the day for me to put another hole in it.
I am grateful for a job. I am grateful that I can still stay home with the kids. I am grateful for so many things. I don't mean to whine and you see I am NOT whining to Dragon.
I just miss him so much.
Things will get better when I get out and start making friends. Maybe. That is the hard part for me. Meeting people. Yikes! One day at a time. One hour, one minute, one second.
I did 20 years as a military wife. I can do this civilian thing. No problem!