I thought missing him would be something of the past. I thought civilian life would mean no more deployments and I would never ache to feel his arms around me again. He isn't gone overnight but he works some long hours. 15 hours today and that doesn't even count his commute time. I miss sitting down and eating supper as a family. I miss sitting on the bar stool while he cooks. I miss him scolding me because I didn't get my task done for the day.
Now he just isn't here. When he gets home he wants a shower and bed. Sometimes he wants the plate I saved for him. Most of the time he is too tired to eat. He is loosing wight so fast. A belt he has had for years is suddenly too big. He hasn't been home during the day for me to put another hole in it.
I am grateful for a job. I am grateful that I can still stay home with the kids. I am grateful for so many things. I don't mean to whine and you see I am NOT whining to Dragon.
I just miss him so much.
Things will get better when I get out and start making friends. Maybe. That is the hard part for me. Meeting people. Yikes! One day at a time. One hour, one minute, one second.
I did 20 years as a military wife. I can do this civilian thing. No problem!
Hang in there!
ReplyDeletewith my finger nails.
DeleteI understand. When mine is home he is gone about 14 hours a day and it's hard at times. Hang in there...you'll get used to the new routine and hopefully his hours will slow down some in time.
ReplyDeleteI hope it happens sooner rather than latter.
DeleteI understand completely. It is such a difficult emotional roller coaster ride. We love that they have a job and appreciate all it provides, but we wish they were home to 'be' with us.
ReplyDeleteI was able to work sporadically since my husband worked so very hard. This allowed me to be home with my kids. The flip side of the coin is the long hours away mean, pure and overwhelming exhaustion.
It is overwhelming for both of us. I wish he were home more but he really needs to keep this job. You keep jobs by being a yes man.
Delete15 hours of work and his commute!
ReplyDeleteWhen is this going to end? No dragon should do this for any longer time. It's not healthy being too tired to eat.
And he loses so much when he is never at home awake. He never sees the kids. He cannot make up for that at a later time.
You can see how fast he is burning himself out by his weightloss.
Hang in there and please take care.
I know he is working too hard but neither one of us know what to do about it right now. The job market is so tight we are just happy to have JOB! After his 90 day probation period is over it may ease up some too. I can hope. I do what I can to make it easier on him. Cook meals, clean house and I have taken over all home schooling duties.
DeleteI understand. You have been through so much lately, your emotions are on a roller coaster ride. It's hard making adjustments and I am sure the switch between military and civilian life is a larger adjustment than most of us are used to.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, once you get to know people it will be easier. Unfortunately the older we get the harder it is to meet people.
Go to events at school, parks, etc. You never know.
You can vent to us anytime you want. That's why we are all here.
One day at a time is all I can do. I am a social recluse so meeting people has always been hard for me. Find a church, get a second car and get Dragons work hours under control. That will help too.
DeleteThank you. My blog is the only place I can vent.