Friday, April 29, 2011

One More Month

My husband has one more month of lifting restrictions, then he starts physical therapy. The doc said he has about 4 more months to go until he is back to 100%. With the way he swings that paddle now, I am sure I have unpleasant swats in my future. With one arm in a sling he can’t put me OTK. He has to make do with other less effective positions as he calls them. Spend time putting me back in position just when he thinks the swats are starting to really sting.

Now that he is gaining more confidence with ttwd I am sure that I do not want to go OTK. When he has that other hand to hold my stubborn backside in place, I am worried that he won’t stop when I start having problems. Eeeekkkk. The pillow will have to muffle most of my squeals and squeaks. My hands will be blocked from the business end of things so they can help with noise management.

Since he read my blog about being afraid of maintenance, he has changed how he does things. Now there are stress relief sessions, attitude adjustments and the ever dreaded punishment. There isn’t much difference between them. He stops when he gets the point across or we get interrupted. A stress relief usually ends up with lovemaking and fun. If it does what it is supposed to do we are both relaxed and in a playful mood when all is said and done. An attitude adjustment doesn’t start with the same energy a punishment begins with. I am typically frustrated but not angry or afraid. Days when I feel out of sorts and just can’t keep it together. After a few memorable swats, I am back on track. A punishment starts with both of us frustrated and usually, I’m angry. Defiantly in no mood to submit to anything he wants me to do.

This morning I talked to him about feeling angry after punishment. I don’t like feeling that angry at him, not even for a moment. I have been told that he didn’t go long enough or hard enough. I disagree but do think we need to do something different. We are both still figuring this thing out. Telling him was almost as hard as submitting to punishment. I guess I should expect the next punishment to be much worse. What have a done now?

Foot in mouth syndrome

That is what I am going to call it. Oh well. The deed is done now. I don’t like being spanked. I hate being punished at all but I have to admit that I love the results. Just not the angry part. And if there is a result that I don’t like, something needs to change. Somehow I don’t think he would be willing to go back to the way it was. No spanking. Equals in the house.

It sounds like harder, longer punishments are in my future.  Don't think I like the sound of that. 


  1. I hear ya! I do firmly believe it's best to communicate what you feel, even if you have no choice in the spanking. Deep down, they are listening. However, sometimes it does lead to new rules or different tactics.
    Never let them read a blog like that! LoL

    I hate punishments as well and avoid them at all costs, but we do maintenance to help with that. I think he prefers maintenance now. I know one thing, he has informed me multiple times recently that we are never going back. He likes this dynamic way too much...oops!

    ~No worries

  2. After reading a blog I follow, I asked my Dragon what he would say if I wanted to quit ttwd. I can’t say that I liked his answer.

    “ok, behave and you won’t get spanked.”

    I brought this to our relationship and he is going to make sure it stays..