Saturday, October 25, 2014

Soggy

I keep crying.  I don't know what to think.  My grandmother's sister seems set on putting her in a nursing home.  She would hate that.  It is something that has always terrified her.

Now that her health is declining her choices go away?

She isn't herself.  So frail and helpless.

I am fighting it but I'm not sure what I can do.  i live in Texas. She is in Mississippi.  I can't even talk without crying.  I can't think.

Breath

In

Out

Breath

7 comments:

  1. Oh Rose...I am so sorry to read this...It hasn't been that long since her stroke so I would say that she still has some rehab to go through. What does your grandma's doctor have to say? Any recommendations from him/her? Sending lots of prayers, healing energy and positive thoughts for both you and your grandma.

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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    1. Thank you. My brother was relieved to have someone on his side.

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  2. Rose, I'm sorry you're going through this. Please remember that there's nothing undignified about her receiving assistance to meet her needs. It sounds like her sister can't give her what she requires right now. That might be mental on her part, or it might be that she doesn't have the physical skills or time to give her what she deserves. We all have these horror scenarios of nursing homes based on tv and old stories we've heard about somebody long ago. They're not like that anymore. Sometimes the best thing to do is find a way to rid yourself of the guilt that you could or should be doing something different. Because, quite possibly, even if you were closer maybe you truly wouldn't be able to support her in what she needs. We can't anticpate our latter years or make them go as we wish. Its hard to come to terms with and I'm sorry you're struging through this time.

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    1. I was a paramedic for years. I didn't see the public side of nursing homes. I saw the fuck ups you wouldn't believe. I promiced her that she wouldn't ever go in a home. I plan on keeping that promise. No, her sister isn't able to care for her but it isn't her place. It is up to me and my brother. It is time for her to step back and let us step up.

      I am taking the day off from it and going back in the morning.

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  3. Rose, that is such a rough thing to be going through and from so far away. I hope you can find a good solution and one that everyone can live with, you, your brother, your grandmother and your grandmother's sister. There are solutions and I am glad you are fighting to find a good one for her.

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  4. I hope things get better soon, HUGS

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